ghosting - awesamdude

14.

khai
george owes me a fiver

dream
oh shit
i'm sorry khai

sapnap
he'll come around

khai
will he?
i don't know if i would.
he's right to be upset, isn't he?

george
ew
well now i feel bad

dream
what happened?

khai
i told him it was the reason why i ghosted him
and he left
just
walked out
this is my fault
i shouldn't have let myself get close to him again
not without telling him
this is fucked

sapnap
kay this isn't your fault
you made bad choices yeah but you never intended to hurt him and he knows you and he knows that you're not a bad person

khai
i think i should leave
i can't stay in his house

dream
don't make any decisions without thinking

khai
i know
i won't
do you guys think schlatt would let me stay with him till i can get a flight back

dream
okay i literally just said think

sapnap
whatever happens, you're okay khai

khai
i hope so

Khai was now pacing Sam's kitchen, clenching and unclenching her fists.

She had decided she was going to leave. She knew it was bad. She had left before. But she had hurt Sam too many times to stay in his life.

Dear Sam,

By the time you're reading this, I'm gone. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I hurt you before by leaving and it kills me to do it again. But I can't hurt you again. I cant fuck everything up again.

What I said earlier was true. I ghosted you because I was in love with you and didn't know how to handle it. Ghosting you was immature and impulsive and irrational and I hated every fucking minute of it. But I didn't want to fuck up our friendship because I was in love with you, but I guess I ended up fucking up our friendship anyway.

I guess you should know I still love you. I'm still in love with you. Maybe it's selfish to tell you this. Maybe it's unfair. Maybe it's cruel to tell you this and then leave for good, but you deserve to know, right? Maybe. I don't know. I really don't.

You're going to hate me for this, Sam. I'm sorry. I've hurt you too many times to let myself stay.

I have always loved you and I probably always will.

Love,
Khai

an-
double update bcs ily 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩