Biology||Josh Richards

5.3

2 days later, I'm sat on a swing at the small park in the neighborhood, it was quiet. Not a single person could be heard for what seemed like miles, the only sounds were the soft chirping of birds and the light flow of the river between the hills behind me.

I couldn't help but think about Josh again, how his fluffy brown hair always flows in the wind, how his hazel eyes brighten when he gets even the slightest bit of an excitement boost, how his plump lips move in such delicate movements when he speaks to me, how his hands rest on my cheeks and ears when he wants my attention.

But then... how his beautiful eyes were crying a stream of salty tears down his perfectly sculpted cheekbones, how his pink bottom lip was trembling with worry, how his hands were sat numb to the sides of his legs as he stared at me in utter disbelief.

It's funny to think that in one single word or incident, someone you loved so dearly, could just step right out of your existence.

Love. The simple four-letter word that can mean an eternity to someone. A four-letter word that could beat all odds and create equal barriers for anyone and anything. Was it just a simple four-letter word though?

The main definition for love would be an intense feeling of deep affection. But to me it wasn't just that, it was a word with such a powerful meaning that is could destroy or complete someone's life.

It was a dangerous word. No matter how you use it.

Telling someone you love them might mean something different to that person than it does to you. They could think it meant that you appreciate them, you don't want to lose them, or, you feel such a powerful and overwhelming feeling of their whole being that you could drop dead yourself the second that you believe they've been lost.

It was a word that my parents would never use towards each other, or anything really.

It was a word that to me meant I physically and mentally can not lose the person I say it to. It didn't use to have the same meaning for me though, the meaning has changed.

I told Julie that I had loved her because she was my best friend, but then the moment she was laying unconscious on the paramedic stretcher, black smoke layered on her face and body, third-degree burns swelling along her bare feet and legs, the meaning had changed. It had changed me.

My phone started buzzing in the pocket of my black hoodie. It was my mom.

"Hey, honey, how're you?" She asks softly over the line.

"Hi, mother. I'm fine, how're you?"

We talk for another five minutes before I check the time to be on the brink of turning 5. I had an hour before being back there.

I walk down to the rocky river sit in the damp grass, the sneakers squeaking as I do so.

It was colder then I wished it was, I was shaking inside my bundled up sweatpants and sweatshirt under my winter coat.

The river in front of my eyes was flowing freely underneath the iced edges due to the cold weather. As much as I wanted to stick my toes in, I knew I couldn't.

I sat, knees to my chest with my chin on top of them, keeping myself warm. The sky had turned a drastically pink-orange color, clouds slowly moving forward with the breeze.

The sun was halfway behind the sparkling white hills, it's rays shining through a light layer of mist.

There was a rabbit with light Gray fragile fur and a fluffy white ball as a tail that was hopping around the premises of the water, possibly trying to secure its territory and find an easy-to-access food source.

It was a sight for sore eyes.

So was he. It was obvious I couldn't get my mind off him, he and I haven't said a single word to each other whether over text or better yet in-person. It bothered me.

I start walking to the house about a half hour before six, taking in the sunset as much as I could before I had to step back into the place I've been dreading the most at the moment.

I wish it didn't have to feel so far away from the two places that truly felt like home. My real home: clean, organized and comfortable. Where my mom was, where my favorite foods sat in the small pantry, where my bed sheets were, the things that have always felt truly like home laid in the house that I've lived in for my whole life.

Then there was my second feeling of home. And it was tracked back to him. He felt like home, he felt like the comfort of my bed or shower, he felt like my favorite things, he felt like the person I can't even begin to imagine living without and it makes wonder how I ever did before.

During this delightful walk back to the house, all the things that scattered my mind washed away the second I realized that I loved him.

I'm in love with him.

It didn't matter how many tears he's made me cry, no matter how many hateful words he's used against people and himself, no matter how many mistakes he's made, I was in love with everything about him.

And that seemed to be all that really mattered.

a/n

Well, well, well.

Josh will be in the next chapter don't worry.