Maddend Heart ~Ivar The Boneless~

Chapter 35 // York

I want your love and all your lover's revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

...

The last two days coming up to our infiltration have been a bliss. Ivar hasn't left my side which turned out to be a bigger problem than I thought. Ever since he found out that I miscarried he spend every minute with me. I started teaching him Greek which was quite a challenge for someone as impatient as him. He in return taught me about old stories of their gods or really any tale he knew. I recognized some from my own mother yet hearing these stories from him made me realise how much I don't know about this part of me. Even silly things like improving our archery skills; we did it all together. Of course I liked spending time with him, it turns out that he's not always such a pain in the ass. Yet it felt like he's just doing it to make me feel better, to prove he can be there.

Things have gone back to normal surprisingly quickly, at least Ivars neediness for body contact has. He's not as direct about it anymore, probably because he is unsure if I'm physically ready for it. Yet his sneaky hands always seem to find their way, no matter if we are on a table eating wit my warriors or if we are on my bed as I try to teach him Greek.

For the first time in days he has left my tent in the early hours so we could get ready to raid the city. I mentally prepared myself for the bloodshed of the innocent yet I decided to not obey it. Should I be attacked I will not hesitate to protect myself, yet unlike my people I cant just march in a church, killing its believers.

I realized that I don't need to be as ruthless as them to be a good leader. I spoke a lot with Triska who proceeded to tell me stories of my mother and Lagertha while Ivar was asleep. They taught me that for me to be strong, I need to be soft. I still love the battlefield, the way my muscles ache after I clashed my sword in more bodies than I can count, yet I won't just kill people simply because of their god. 

I finish clothing myself, painting my eyes black and grabbing my sword, walking out the tent. I follow the warriors out the camp to where everyone else was already waiting.

I hear Hvitserk calling me and as I look around I see him and Ivar on his chariot waving over to me. I walk over smirking at them as I see Ivar smirking at me as well.

"You look scary Hella." Hvitserk chuckles as I stop in front of them.

"Really? I wanted you to pee your pants at my sight so I hope it worked."  I chuckle shaking my head at him. He can be so childish sometimes but that might actually be the thing I love so dearly about him.

"Come up here, you don't need to walk." Ivar suddenly suggests which makes me raise my eyebrows. Affection? In public? Maybe he is serious of wanting to change.

"You think its going to hold three people?" I ask unsure of it. I would never dare to question something that has been made by Flokis hands but... It was made for one person. I wasn't really planning on falling and hitting my head.

"Of course it is, now get your ass up here!" Hvitserk assures me holding out his hand.

"I could behead you for your foul mouth Hvitserk."  I warn him as I grab his hand, heaving myself on the chariot. I stand beside Hvitserk on the other side of Ivar as I hold on his shoulder to secure myself in the limited space up here.

The people start walking into the woods as we make our way to the city. The chariot starts moving and I hold on tighter to Ivar going into my knees more so I feel more stable. We arrive in silence as the ladders are being carried to the walls. No one seems to suspect a thing as the first ones start climbing up.