Alone on the world

Chapter 5.4

TW!!! Talking about death, crying, self harm and a lot of crying!!!!

Technoblade POV

*It's a month later, we overcame their death a bit and actually made a grave. We planted flowers all around it and I engraved a message in the stone.

My heart is still shattered and the pieces are lying all around the house. I feel worse. I'm on a low point of my life.

I'm outside, training on a puppet. My whole body is burning in pain. I already did so much today, I took a run, chopped wood, brought that same wood to the house. I killed a stray wolf that was attacking us.

I am tired, I am exhausted. My mind isn't, my mind is always working. I hate it, I'm always replaying the moment that they fell. Thinking of everything I could've done.

I stop after I stab the puppet in the chest with my sword and after that I run ten meters and shoot it in the chest. It lands on the spot I wanted to and I sigh. Happy I did well I sigh, resting on my sword for a second.*

The door swings open and I see a worried Tubbo standing in it. He storms towards me.

Techno

Heh?

Come here for a second.

Without realizing I was walking backwards. I stop in my tracks and walk towards Tubbo.

What's up?

*He grabs my wrist and I flinch. He looks worried at me but he keeps on talking while he brings me inside and walks me upstairs.*

You did so much today, you deserve a break.

I can still do a lot more I-

Technoblade, listen to me now.

I stay silent, impressed by the tone he's talking with. He sounds bossy without sounding aggressive.

You are going to take a nap or something. I'll do the rest of the work you still want to do.

But-

No but here, you need to take care of yourself.

We walk upstairs and inside Wilbur's room. He stops in front of him and stands on the feet of my brother. Wilbur's head shoots up and looks at us confused.

What?

Force Techno to take a nap or something, something to take care of himself.

Why aren't you going to do it?

You are his brother and I'm not intimidating, just do it.

Okay

Tubbo walks away and we are standing in the middle of the room. God dammit this is akward.

*You look terrible

Thank you very much

I mean it, you look terrible Techno

That hits me hard, I don't even know why.

I break, in a matter of moments I start crying. Wilbur immediately pulls me in a hug and sits us down on his bed. I hold him close to me and I lay my head on his shoulder.

It starts raining, it starts raining so hard that you can't see outside the window. It's like the weather is following my emotions. I let all the tears out I held inside of me, when I was trying to help everyone.

Wil pats me on my back, trying to think of things how to calm me down. He accidentally moves my sleeve and exposes my wrist. I feel him stiff up and I just sigh.

I know Wilbur, don't give me the talk please.

Alright

He holds me close until I calm down. I feel that he's sobbing a bit too. I sit there until I completely calm down. I give Wilbur one last hug and then I go sit next to him.

He looks confused and sad. I feel a bit a bit better now I have cried my eyes out.

Why?

They were like family to me. A new sibling, just like you and dad. I would give my life to protect them. I failed to protect them. I'm useless, I can't do anything right.

Techno-

It would be so easy to just kill Bad, they didn't need to give their life. I needed to give my life, they didn't need to give theirs. I'm useless, I'm useless!

Techno! Listen to me.

I stop and become silent when I see the fire Wilbur's eyes.

You aren't responsible for the death of Y/n. They gave their own life willingly to save us. You have done everything you can to save them. You are doing everything to help us as much as possible. You can't do any more then what you are doing at the moment.

But I didn't save them.

You didn't have the chance to save them, we all didn't have the chance to save them. We all wanted to save them and we couldn't.

They trusted me

They trusted us all

I hear a knock at the door.

Uhm, can I come in?

I look at Will, he shrugs.

Sure

Phil opens the door and walks in.

Tubbo told me that I maybe needed to give you two some support.

He sounds a bit confused, but then sees that we both have been crying. his expression changes and he rushes to us and pulls us two in a hug.

What is happening here?

I just point at my wrist without saying anything else. His eyes widen in shock.

For gods sake, what did you do?*

One of the last chapters :(, I can't really think of anywhere else to go with this so yeah.

Please don't forget to eat, drink and take your medicines.

I love you,

Arwe