Raven (Fred x oc)

61. Fears

With a gasp, I jolted awake from my slumbers, my head pounding. Glancing over at the window, I saw that the sun was already getting low. With a groan, I lay back in bed. I must've been asleep for several hours since this morning, but I felt no more rested.

For the remaining month before school started back up, I noticed that not only was Dad much quieter and more moody than usual but that I was becoming more withdrawn. I spent most of my time in my room either in a state of restless sleep or dreading the coming year.

I didn't know what was coming, but I knew that this year wasn't going to be one I would enjoy. What with everyone thinking Harry and I insane and the lack of belief that he is really back...

I was in the most misery on the last night of the holidays when an owl came pecking at my window. With a small sigh, I got up and let him in. He delivered his letter and disappeared again. School letters. Of course.

The moment I opened it, something fell from the envelope. I crouched down and found it was a red and gold badge. Captain? Huh. I wasn't nearly as excited as I'd expected to be, but...okay that's a lie. For the first time in months, a real genuine smile crossed my lips and I dared to think there would at least be something good coming from this year.

Before I could think more on it, Dad came in. "Molly needs to know what you need from Diagon Ally," he explained.

"Could I not go and get it?" I asked.

"Best you stay here," he replied. I sighed but nodded in agreement. Glancing at the book list, I took out my quill and underlined the books I needed, and handed it over.

Dad took the parchment and began to leave, but I asked, "Hey Dad?" He turned back around. "A-Are you okay?"

With a forced smile, he replied, "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've just been hiding from everyone, that's all," I replied. "Are you sure you're okay?"

With a sigh, he said, "It's nothing."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

After a long pause, he admitted, "I just...I don't want to be in this house alone once you all leave."

"I know," I said sadly. "But just think. Next year I can just live here with you." He smiled.

"Sure you want to live with your old man past school?"

I laughed. "Dad, I lost thirteen years. I'm not losing any more."

..............................................................................................................

"Come on, Val," George said, standing outside my door. "Everyone is down there."

"George, I'm really not in the mood," I replied.

"Can you at least let us in?" Fred asked.

Rolling my eyes, I unlocked the door with a flick of my wand. Stepping inside my room, Fred remarked, "What have you been doing? Throwing around half your room?" It was true that that room was in disarray.

"Trying to pack," I corrected.

"You've supposedly been packing all day," George countered.

"And?" I replied.

"It doesn't take all day to pack," Fred stated.

"Well apparently it does for me," I replied bitterly.

Crossing his arms over his chest, George asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said. Fred and George both shared a doubting look.

"Valerie," Fred said. "What's wrong?"

"I told you, it's nothing," I snapped, turning back to my stuff. With a sigh, Fred sat on my bed next to my trunk and looked at me. I turned to grab one of my books and saw that George had left. When I turned back, Fred took the book from my hands, threw it in the trunk, and slammed it shut so I couldn't get to it. "Really?"

"I won't let you open this until you tell me what's wrong," he stated. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sighed, sitting down next to him.

"I don't want to go back," I admitted.

"Why?" Fred asked. It was clear by his tone he wasn't judging me for it, he was just curious and trying to understand.

"A few different reasons," I replied. "First, everyone thinks that Harry and I are crazy about...You-Know-Who, and I don't want to deal with the backlash of that. And beyond that..." I paused, unsure of how to properly explain. "Every time I step into those halls it seems like something bad happens."

"How do you mean?"

"Just think about it. Fifth year I wound up gaining and losing my dad, breaking my arm, and having to face the reason my godparents died. It wasn't traumatic but it was so...so much all in one year. Then last year..." I couldn't say it. I couldn't say what happened. Fred grabbed my hand. "And worse of all," I added, squeezing his hand back. "I'm scared of what Fudge is going to do."

"Do about what?" Fred asked.

"Do you remember last year after...everything? He stormed in and was yelling about Dumbledore being mental. I think he's going to try and change Hogwarts and take some of the power from Dumbledore."

"As long as he's there, we have nothing to worry about," Fred countered. I sighed, laying my head on his shoulder.