SOFT SPOT// h.s

3.2 ~ Decisions

All I could think about was Ellie, I just couldn't distract my mind. The anxious worry that the situation had caused continued to gnaw at my stomach.

We were driving down the highway, but at a sluggish pace due to the old age of the truck Harry was driving.

Nothing was working. I just couldn't think of anything else except the patronising fact that I was the worlds worst mother. Everything was wrong. It wasn't supposed to go like this.

And then the pressure that was weighing down on my shoulders to tell Harry that he was a dad also contributed to the churning in my stomach.

I dug my nails into my palms in an attempt to soothe the nausea, but I knew it didn't help much as I struggled to take deep breaths.

"You alright? You look pale," Harry remarked as he glanced at me.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Can you put the window down please?" I replied, feeling a sheeny sweat beginning to break out on my forehead.

"Sure," he said, reaching down to scroll the handle that functioned the windows.

"It's not working," Harry muttered, as he continued to drive with one hand on the steering wheel.

I fumbled about with the handle on my side, trying to yank it around. "Fuck," I mumbled, as I felt my stomach practically lurching.

"Harry, stop the car," I demanded abruptly, as the sickness suddenly became worse.

"Clary, I can't I'm-" Harry began.

"Stop the fucking truck Harry!" I yelled as I flung the door open just in time to empty my guts out onto the dying grass at the side of the road.

I stumbled out of the vehicle, continuing to throw up, tears running down my face. I felt horrible and utterly disgusting.

I didn't even hear Harry approaching over my spluttered coughs until I felt his hands pull my hair back from my sticky face.

"Harry," I choked out. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Shhh," Harry murmured soothingly as he rubbed my back as I stayed doubled over. I had always had a slight phobia of sickness.

I don't know how long we stayed there, robbing valuable time. The day of my wedding was coming quickly and I just felt so messed up in that moment, I couldn't make sense of my own thoughts.

I sank into the car seat, a plastic bag beside me in case of another episode like the previous. It was starting to irritate me how I had been sick almost every day for the past while.

"I really wish I could roll down these windows now. You really smell," Harry pointed out unsympathetically.

I didn't bother replying, but just tried keeping my insides, well, in before drifting off to sleep.

---x---

When I awoke, the Chevy was parked and I looked around to find Harry, who was sitting in the drivers seat, flicking through a book.

"What are you doing?" I asked him curiously, peering closely at him.

"I found this book in one of the compartments in this old thing," he explained, a smirk painted on his face.

"What is it?"

"50 shades of grey," he told me, his smirk growing wider. "Just reading it for future reference, you know?"

I looked at him disgustedly, not in the mood for his dirty mind. "You're disgusting," I muttered.

He just laughed before setting the book aside. "So smelly, do you want a shower?" He proposed.

"Of course I do, stupid. I stink," I said dumbly.

"Let's go then," Harry said, shoving a bag into my arms and grabbing one for himself.

"What? I'm so confused here Harry. What are we doing?" I asked him stupidly.

"We're at the leisure centre. We can use the pool showers. While you were asleep, I ran into the shop and got you some things you might need. I mean, how nice am I?" He said proudly, puffing out his chest.

I had to admit, it was a pretty good idea. Random, strange and weird, but quite genius all the same.

"What are we waiting for then?" I said flatly, not even attempting to mask my fatigue with enthusiasm.

----x----

To say I felt better after a long shower was a major understatement. I felt bloody great. There I go, using English slang 'bloody' (damn you Harry).

Harry had bought coconut shampoo AND conditioner. He also slipped a bottle of sweet scented body gel and a fresh towel and even clothes.

Was I sick or was he? His niceness was worrying me, as well as the fact that I had decided to tell him my secret, today. Or tonight, whenever.

I slipped the oversized black Tshirt over my head as well as a pair of grey yoga pants. I didn't want to seem ungrateful, but I hoped that Harry had purchased some other clothes for me.

I used a 20 cent for the hairdryer, my hair turning out like a curly mess afterwards.

When I walked out of the leisure centre, I saw Harry already sitting in the Chevy, his nose buried in that book again. He was so strange. But I noticed how beautiful he looked while he was completely captured by the book, his eyes dancing over the worn pages. It was then I made up my mind.

I was going to tell him right now.

I flung open the rusty door and climbed inside, sliding over beside Harry who looked up at me and smiled before setting the book aside.

He was wearing black jeans, as usual, and a plaid shirt. He looked quite handsome, his curls shining, thanks to the pool showers.

"You're back. Finally," he chuckled. "How are you feeling?"

I sighed nervously before I spoke. "Much better, thanks. Look, Harry there's something I need to tell you."

****************

I'm a mess ~ Ed Sheeran (aka my queen)

CLIFFHANGER LOL

DOUBLE UPDATE BC ST PATRICKS DAY AND YEAH I HAD A GOOD DAY I HOPE YOU DID TOO (if you celebrate it or not)

OK ILY BAI