SOFT SPOT// h.s

4.1 ~ just leave

•HARRY•

My stomach was whirling with anxiety as I walked down the ward, terrified of what I would find behind the blue curtain in the private room my mother had been admitted to.

I didn't even know what I was going to say to her. The one woman whom I had loved my whole life and who had loved me back unconditionally. I dug my nails into my palms nervously as I trudged across the shiny tiles with Gemma by my side.

"So, uh... I'm a dad," I mumbled quietly to my sister. I expected her to be shocked or angry, surprised at least. But she just laughed.

"How long did it take you to figure that one out genius?" She said jokingly, but she took my hand in hers and squeezed reassuringly. I knew she was just as nervous as I was.

"You knew?" I asked her in disbelief.

"Jesus Harry, everyone knew," she scoffed.

"Well in my defence I-" I began, but stopped as we reached the door that our mother lay behind.

We paused outside the room for a moment. "Harry, I want you to know, no matter what happens I love you ok. And I know I haven't been a very good big sister lately and I'm sorry. But we need each other to get through this, ok?" She said to me as she squeezed my hand and I nodded in reply.

"I love you too Gemma, and I'm sorry for everything that happened," I replied apologetically.

She shook her head, swallowing down tears. "It wasn't your fault," she told me.

"I'm still sorry."

"Ok."

I pushed open the door, unsure of the sight that lay before me. I opened my eyes fully and looked around the dimly lit room. On a hospital bed lay a familiar woman, that I hadn't seen in months. It was worse for Gemma, as it had been over a year since they last encountered.

Long, wiry tubes like snakes were attached to her, hooking her up to machines that decided whether she lived or died.

The nurse that sat in the corner with a clipboard smiled warmly at us as she jotted down stuff on a clipboard.

"What are you doing here?" I asked her rudely.

"Anne is under observation for a while today, so we can pin point her progress," she replied calmly, not looking up from her writing.

"And how is she?" I demanded.

"She, uh... I think the doctor should maybe tell you. Would you like for me to call him around?" She asked uncertainly.

"No, I want you to tell me now!" I shouted, my stress levels heightening.

I felt Gemma's hand rest on my arm in attempt to relax me. "Yes, we would like for you to call the doctor around."

The nurse hurried over to a phone that was on the bedside table, glancing at me uneasily. She looked slightly scared of me, making me feel a sense of accomplishment.

Gemma and I sat down on opposite sides of our mother's bed as we waited for the doctor, who soon shuffled into the room.

"Hi, there.. Uh?" He greeted us, holding out his hand to Gemma.

"Gemma," she introduced herself, shaking his hand warmly. "And this is Harry. Anne is our mother."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," the doctor said. "I'm Doctor Martin, and I have been taking care of your mother's health."

"So what's wrong with her?" I asked him abruptly, not caring about any other crap he had to say.

"Well as you can see she's in a coma," the doctor told us, taking a seat beside me. "There was an incident when she was walking on the footpath and a car collided with her. It is not thought to be accidental, but I don't know too much about the details."

I looked at Gemma worriedly, and saw that her face had paled considerately. "So, uh, will she be ok?" She asked the doctor quietly, her hand curling around our mother's.

Doctor Martin sighed. "Well, she sustained major head injuries, including a crack to the skull which could still be fatal if not treated with intensive care. She lost a lot of blood, we got the transfusion done, but only just. We're not sure when she'll wake up, and there's a high chance that when she does, she will have amnesia. I'm very sorry," he said calmly but sincerely.

I took another long, hard look at my mother who lay on a dull, white hospital bed. Her face colourless, contrasting with her jet black hair. Her lips were pale and her hands were cold as I held one fondly.

Why did this have to happen? If I had have just stayed home, everything would be alright, I thought to myself.

The doctor looked helplessly at us, his eyes full of pity. It made me sick. I pushed my chair back abruptly and rose from the seat, storming out the door.

--x--

•CLARY•

Ellie had finally fallen asleep, after asking only a million questions about Harry being her dad.

I hummed quietly to myself and ran my fingers through Ellie's soft curls as we sat in the waiting room, watching people go about their lives.

I wondered if Harry really wanted to be a part of Ellie's life. It was never the same with Noah, he just didn't have that connection that Harry had with her. And besides, Noah was always too busy with work to make time for her.

I looked up as I heard heavy footsteps approaching me. It was Harry. Obviously.

His eyes had that distant, distracted look in them as he flopped into the seat beside me.

"How is she?" I asked him carefully, not wanting to trigger an outburst. I knew how Harry got when he was distressed.

He shrugged, still not meeting my gaze. "She's in a coma. They don't know when she'll wake up," he said quietly.

"I'm so sorry Harry," I mumbled, unsure of how to console him.

"Yeah, you should be," he muttered, his eyes focused on the floor.

"Excuse me?" I asked him, unable to hide the tone of shock in my voice.

"Maybe.. Just maybe if you hadn't held me up, I could have gotten home before she fell into a coma, I could have told her everything I didn't say when she was well, because now I don't know when I'm ever going to speak to her again!" He said, his voice getting gradually louder.

"Harry, I-" I began to apologise, my hands shaky.

"Don't," he muttered. "Just don't speak to me. I can't even look at you."

"Harry you have no right-" I started again, only to be cut off by him shouting.

"No Clary! You don't have the right to try and tell me that everything is going to be alright! Ok? Because now I haven't just lost my little brother, I've lost my mum too! Why can't you understand that?!" He yelled, causing a few people to glance up worriedly.

I couldn't suppress the tears that were now freely rolling down my cheeks, splashing onto my lap. "Harry, I do under-"

"No, you fucking don't! You have no problems at all! None! Why don't you go back to your loaded fiancé, he can probably just pay off your problems!" His voice boomed, and I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"Harry, please," I begged him to listen, although I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say.

"Go! Get out! Just leave, now," he demanded.

I inhaled a deep breath, trying to resist the sobs that were threatening to break. "Ok," I said quietly, rising from the seat.

I balanced Ellie, who was still sleeping, on my left hip and made my way down to the exit, not even looking at Harry, who had spoken like a complete asshole to me. How dare he take out his own problems on me?

I walked through the automatic doors out into the cold air and made my way over to a payphone, punching in numbers quickly, trying to control my crying.

"Hello?" It picked up after the third ring.

"Noah? Can you come and pick me up? I'm at the hospital."

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DOUBLE UPDATE BECAUSE IM TOO EXCITED FOR THE END OF THIS BOOK