4.7 ~ f*ck you

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"Please let him be in here," I whispered hopefully, as I rested my hand on the door handle, ready to push it open, only to have it flung open from behind, revealing a tall, dark haired figure.
--

The doctor stood in front of us, his expression grim, his forehead lined with worry.

"Ms Styles, why I was just about to give you a call," he said, clearly surprised.

Gemma's focus altered immediately as she bombarded the doctor with questions. "Has she woken up yet? Is she alright? Has she been asking for me?" She asked him frantically.

The doctor scratched the back of his head, unable to meet her gaze. "We're not sure, there are some alterations in the functioning of her heart and brain that do show some signs of awareness to her surroundings, but there are also may be a few underlying conditions, which might be worse than we thought," he explained dully, in his calm, smooth monotone.

I watched Gemma's face crumple, a woman who was so strong, now at her weakest. I instinctively grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

"There is a possibility that she might wake up soon though," the doctor said. "You can stay for a while just in case, if you'd like to."

Gemma looked at me in question. "Harry," she mumbled.

"You stay here. I'll find him," I promised her, squeezing her hand once again for comfort as I nodded to the doctor and set off down the ward.

But first, there were some things I needed to set straight.

--x--

I had to admit that I wasn't a very good driver, especially when I was unsure of how the car worked.

Gemma's class a Mercedes hatchback had me nervously braking in a panic every time I almost lost control.

But despite my slow, unsure driving, I found myself at Noah's apartment, which I had been living in permanently for almost a year now.

My hands shook nervously as I knocked on the door. I had never knocked, always just walked in, seeing as I lived there it was partly my house. But now I felt like a stranger intruding. I had been rehearsing what I was going to say to him.

Life is short and you need to make the most of it. You don't realise that you can change your entire life by just one decision, and my choice was to not spend the rest of my life pretending to love someone when my heart really belonged to another.

The air seemed to grow colder as the door flung open to reveal a confused Noah, dressed up in his suit and tie, looking breathtakingly handsome.

"Clary?" he said breathlessly with clear surprise. "What are you doing here? And why did you knock?"

I fumbled anxiously with my fingers. "I need to talk to you," I mumbled.

"Well it better be quick. I'm leaving for the ceremony really soon, and you still need to get ready," he sighed as he gestured me inside.

I shuffled into the kitchen and took a seat at the pine wood table. Everything was so familiar, but soon it would only be a distant memory.

"Do you want anything to drink? You know you can help yourself silly," Noah chuckled, pulling out the chair beside me.

"No thanks," I replied, not meeting his gaze. The guilt was already building up inside me and I hadn't even done anything yet.

He sat down and folded his hands on top of mine, smiling warmly at me until he noticed my trembling hands and my troubled expression.

"Baby, are you alright?" He asked me worriedly.

"No," I croaked out.

His brow was lined with worry as he ran his soft thumb against the back of my shaking hand.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He urged me, looking genuinely concerned.

"I can't do it Noah," I said, my voice small.

"Do what?" He asked me suspiciously, he could sense what was coming, I knew it.

I buried my face in my hands. "I'm sorry Noah, I love you, but I cant," I murmured against my hands.

"Baby, you're scaring me. What are you talking about?" He urged me, resting his hand on my arm.

I shook my head. "I can't marry you Noah. I'm sorry. I can't ok?" I blurted out, feeling my throat growing tight. I knew I had to leave before I started having a panic attack.

My fiancée (or ex-fiancee now, I guess) just stared at me in shock. "Clary, what the hell are you talking about?" He asked me, his voice jumping up an octave at the end.

"I'm not getting married to you. Not today, not ever," I squeaked, failing to make my voice dominating.

Noah removed his hands from mine. His face was contorted with rage as he leant away from me, his eyes studying my face warily.

"It's him, isn't it," he said, dangerously soft.

I didn't reply, but looked down at my feet, until his booming voice startled me. "Isn't it?!!" He yelled, slamming his hands down on the table.

"I should've known from the moment you told me he was Ellie's dad. Fuck! You're a whore, you know that?" He spat at me, as I pushed myself back from the table and stood up to face him, despite me being a lot smaller than him.

"Excuse me?!" I shrieked in fury.

"You're a whore, his whore," Noah yelled and I'm almost positive that all the neighbours could hear us.

I looked him up and down in disgust.

Everything we had shared for the past few years, the secret smiles, every touch and every kiss, every kind word, was replaced by the look on his face. It was one of fury and anger. It made me sick to my stomach. This wasn't love. It was never love.

"I'd rather be his whore than your wife," I fired back, yanking my engagement ring off my finger and flinging it at his face.

He clutched his forehead in pain after the diamond stud in the ring hit him and slashed a line on his skin, blood already beginning to ooze out.

"Don't come near me or my family ever again," I spat, as I leaned in close to his face.

"Fuck you," he replied as I made my way to the door.

"No thanks," I replied lightly as I flipped him off before slamming the apartment door shut behind me, leaving him speechlessly staring after me.

Asshole.

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5K READS THANK YOU SO MUCH YOU BEAUTIFUL NUGGETS OK ILY

So quite a short chapter BUT HONEY YOUVE GOT A BIG STORM COMING

(3 chapters + epilogue omfg)

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