SOFT SPOT// h.s

4.3 ~ i dont love you

"Come down Clary. I need to talk to you."

I nodded and quickly pulled a jumper over my head and quietly sneaked down stairs, trying not to wake anyone.

What did he want now?
--

"Harry, what are you doing here?" I asked him, my arms folded. It had stopped raining, but the ground was still wet and a sharp breeze caused me to shudder as it sliced through me.

"Like I said, I needed to talk to you," he shrugged, taking a step towards me.

"Well, do you want to come inside or.." I trailed off, unsure of what to do.

"No, I can do this here," he replied.

I wrapped my arms around my body, trying to preserve the little warmth I had left. "Well, start talking Harry, I'm freezing to death here," I urged him, desperate to get back inside.

"You're marrying him," he said simply, his voice monotonously placid. He didn't meet my guilty gaze, but stared at the ground, kicking a stray pebble with his foot.

"Harry, look, I can explain," I tried to reason with him.

"No. No explanation needed," he stopped me, holding up his hand.

He was being so incredibly calm about the whole thing. Too calm, in fact.

"Are you ok with it?" I asked, taking a step towards him.

He leaned back against the garden wall, running his hands through his hair. "Am I ok with it.." He muttered to himself. I was beyond confused, he was acting strange.

"Harry?" I said softly, resting my hand on his forearm. "Are you ok with it?"

"Are you ok with it Clary?" He asked me, raising his head so he could match his evergreen eyes with mine.

I was lost for words as I stared back at him, unable to form the words my mind was speaking. His face was shaded because of the darkness, and I could only make out his sculpted features under the dim lighting of the streetlamps.

"I.. I.." I was stuck for an expression as I looked at Harry, whose face was smug. This only irritated me further. "Yes Harry. I'm more than ok with it actually," I laughed, forcing a fake brightness in my voice.

Harry looked at me with shock. He clearly hadn't expected me to say that. "What's wrong?" I asked him, as the silence sank in between us.

He ran his hand across the stubble on his cheeks, he clearly hadn't gotten a chance to shave. He looked hot. His eyebrows furrowed as he left me without a reply for what seemed like forever.

"Everything is wrong," he muttered finally, and I wondered how the bitter cold of the night wasn't bothering him. He was only dressed in his casual jeans and tshirt, but he didn't shiver once.

"Everything Clary. Fucking everything!" He exclaimed, getting up from the wall, his voice rising with his anger.

"You just expect me to be fucking fine with this! After everything we went through together this week, and you're still marrying him? Not to mention that you promised me that you wouldnt! I don't know what you want me to do Clary, I just don't know," he trailed off quitely.

"I love him Harry," I whispered, shivering as the coldness got beneath my skin.

He laughed meanly. "What a load of bullshit," he scoffed. "It's all about security."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked him, folding my arms again, suddenly very interested in what he had to say.

"Money!" Harry cried. "He's got a lot of money!"

I swore I felt my jaw drop to the ground at his ludicrous accusation. "You stupid bastard. Now I really hate you!" I yelled walking closer to him and pushing his chest weakly.

He didn't stumble but just laughed emptily again. "You don't love him Clary, do you?"

"He gave me a ring and I gave him my word, you delusional asshole!" I fired back, feeling the anger rising within me.

"Oh so you cheat on your fiancé by sleeping with me, and then you go ahead and marry him? Logic," he said, rolling his eyes drastically.

"I hate you so much," I said incredously, unable to drag my eyes away from his face as he tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth.

Droplets of the slowly falling rain landed on his face, illuminating his pure skin along with the shine of the moonlight.

And then he was suddenly close to me, his hot breath touching my face, but I didn't flinch. I could taste the scent of him on my tongue, like peppermint, daring me.

I felt my chest rapidly rising and falling with the frantic beating of my heart. I had to stop. I needed to pull away quickly.

But as his large hands cupped my cheeks, I knew it was too late. His lips collided with mine and I was kissing him back, unable to resist him. He was like a drug, I just couldn't help myself. I kept coming back for more.

The rain gradually got heavier as we stood in the middle on the soaking driveway, embraced in each other's hold. The water ran down my face and I could taste it, mixed with the softness of Harry's mouth.

I gasped as his hands travelled to my waist, his calloused fingertips running across the bottom of my stomach. His touch sent chills darting up my spine, making the hair on my neck stand straight. What was I doing?!

I abruptly pushed him away, but only half heartedly. "Why are you doing this?" I asked him, feeling tortured. He wouldn't stop messing with my head and it was killing me.

"Tell me you don't love me Clary. Tell me you don't love me and I'll walk away right now," he said, his captivating eyes boring into mine.

I stared at him speechlessly. I had to do the right thing, but the problem was that I wasn't sure of what was right and what was wrong anymore.

"Harry, I-" I began, but trailed off, unable to conjure a coherent sentence.

"Say it. Tell me right now," he demanded, his fingers clasped around my wrists gently, but firmly.

The hard, fiery blaze in his eyes was impossible to dismiss as he waited for a reply. The wind blew through his hair, ruffling his dark curls. I wanted nothing more than to touch them and to entwine my fingers in them.

"I don't love you," I whispered under my breath. My words were barely audible, but you can bet your life Harry heard them. My stare locked with his and I knew I would not be the first to look away.

His face crumpled for a fraction of a millisecond, but he regained his perfect façade quickly, but he couldn't hide the emotions that flickered across his eyes, screaming a story of their own.

I felt my heart shattering inside me, and it made me wonder, was this really the right thing to do?

His eyes had turned cold, his persona as icy as the night air that whipped my hair around my face into rats tails.

"I thought I loved you," he said, his voice soft. "But now you're just a stranger with all my secrets."

Before I could even think of a reply, Harry had spun around and left, leaving me to stand in the pouring rain, which chilled me to the bone. What had I done?

As I trudged back towards the door, I noticed a movement of the curtains behind the front window and a glimmer of a bedroom light.

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Drama weheyy

Summer is so close u can almost smell it

I fucking love fall out boy ok

K bye ily