SOFT SPOT// h.s

4.2 ~ i need to talk to you

I listened to the rain hitting against the roof of my old bedroom in my parents' house as I curled up on the bed, glaring at the white wedding gown that hung in my closet, taunting me.

I could hear Ellie laughing downstairs with her grandparents, who spoilt her rotten. The sound of everyone's ecstatic voices echoed through the small, cramped house. They were all so excited for the wedding tomorrow, but a twisting in my gut made me nervous, my anxiety heightening by the hour.

I hadn't seen Harry since the hospital earlier that day, but Gemma had called around to apologise for Harry's behaviour and in turn, I introduced her as Ellie's aunt to my family. My mother, of course, invited Gemma and Harry both to the wedding, after we had explained everything.

But I knew he wouldn't show up.

I heard a soft knock at my bedroom door and I saw my best friend's head peep through. (You know, Amy, the 'best friend' that left me in California? Yeah, her..)

"Are you ready to have your nails done?" She asked me quietly, proceeding into the room and sitting at the edge of the bed.

"I guess so," I mumbled. I didn't really care if I was totally honest.

"Yay! Ok then!" She exclaimed happily, clapping her hands excitedly.

I barely listened to her pointless chatter as she manicured my nails, which were bitten down to stubs.

I couldn't stop thinking about Harry, and how angry he was with me. Was it really my fault? I had been telling myself it wasn't. How could it have been? But now I wasn't so sure..

I felt like I was at a crossroads, completely torn, bewildered as to which path to choose. Everything was going wrong inside my head, I didn't know what to do.

"Right. That's it. What's wrong?" Amy demanded suddenly, setting the polish aside.

I looked up at her with surprise. "What?" I asked dumbfoundedly.

"I know something's up. A week ago you were so excited for this wedding, now you're acting all moody on me," she huffed, narrowing her eyes as she examined me.

"I'm fine," I muttered, her quick observation skills pissing me off.

"I mean, I just don't get how you are t jumping up and down with joy! Like, Noah is a total hottie, and he's loaded with money too. You should be grateful you got such a good bargain," she said, talking about him as if he was a piece of meat at a butchers store.

"I am," I told her, but only half heartedly. "I'm happy with my choices." Ok that second part --> a total lie.

Her grey eyes scanned me sceptically before she resumed maintaining my nails, making a start on my toes.

"You know, you can back out if you want to," she said, not looking up at me.

"Why would I do that?" I asked her, as I gazed absentmindedly out the window, willing for Harry to walk past.

"Like, if you don't love him anymore, or vice versa," she shrugged casually, concentrating hard on my nails.

"Are you trying to say that my fiancé doesn't love me any more?" I said incredulously.

Her eyes were shifty and I knew that there was something he wasn't telling me. "I'm just not sure that he's the one for you," she mumbled, clearly regretting even beginning the conversation.

"Amy, tell me whatever you're hiding right now," I hissed at her through my teeth.

She looked towards the door, with distinct discomfort on her features. "I think I hear your mom calling me, uh, I'll be right back," she muttered, getting up from the bed and dashing out the door.

"Fuck you Amy!" I called after her, extremely annoyed now. Weren't best friends supposed to tell each other everything?

--x--

I could still smell the faint scent of my shampoo lingering on my pillowcase as I buried my face into the fabric, nausea forming in my stomach.

"I can't do this," I muttered to myself. "I can't fucking do this."

I glanced at my digital clock, the time showing 02:16. I hadn't been able to get a wink of sleep so far into the night.

I couldn't get my thoughts straightened out at all. They were a blurry mess, and I couldn't seem to make sense of anything. My mind kept drifting back to Harry as I continually wondered how he was coping. Even though he had acted like a dickhead, I knew he was just hurting, and stressed out over his mom.

I was jolted out of my smothering pool of thoughts by a loud tap on the window. I froze, unsure of what to do. The rain had stopped, for now, but I could hear the occasional faint rap at my window.

I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and slipped on my fluffy pyjama boots and shuffled over to the window, pulling the curtain back slowly.

I looked out into the darkness, squinting for the source of the noise. It was hard to see with the limited streetlights, but as I searched thoroughly, I saw a familiar frame leaning against the wall right outside the small garden.

"Harry?!" I hissed. "What are you doing here?"

Although there was some distance between us, I could hear his soft chuckle. "Come down Clary. I need to talk to you."

I nodded and quickly pulled a jumper over my head and quietly sneaked down stairs, trying not to wake anyone.

What did he want now?

************

Ok ok short short chapter but BE PREPARED FOR DRAMA THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING

I kinda double updated bc I'm pissed off af and I have no friends ok I want a boyfriend but I'm an ugly person who sleeps a lot and only cares about music ok rant over bye

(P.s: 9 chapters and an epilogue left)