Paranormal, Extraterrestrial, and Interdimensional Phenomena

Chapter 3

The group stepped inside, and were immediately greeted by at least 25 armed soldiers. Of course, Taylor chose that time to wake up.

"Whuh- whuh the fuck?" Taylor slurred, half asleep still, sounding a lot like what Joey did when he 'woke up' in the digital ticket of TGWDLM, at least in Lauren's opinion, and she snickered.

"C'mon man!" Ron complained, causing Taylor to fully awaken.

"WHAT THE SHIT! WHERE AM I?!?! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?!?" The kid screamed, very loudly.

"Shhh, you're okay. Robert, put them down." Lauren said softly.

"Holyshityou'reLaurenLopezandohmywizardgodRobertManionwascarrying mewhatthefuckishappeningthisisadreamthere'snootherexplanationrightholyshitthat'sDracoandRonandZazzyandJemillaandholyshitJoeyRichterandJeffBlimandJonMattesonandDIANEohfuckI'mdreamingnoIneedtowakeupandohfuckCurtMegaandGeneralMcNamaraohgodswhatishappeningtomeandmyheadhurtslikeabuttcheekonastick!" The kid ranted, thinking (and fangirling, for some reason) out loud. The chaos, fear, and confusion hat was evidently going through their head made the soldiers drop their guard and stare at the kid, some confused, some pitying.

"We're in Hatchetfield. I take it you know what that is? But, uh, this isn't a dream. That's what we all thought at first too. You actually didn't miss that much. When you came through the portal, you were having a full on panic attack. You passed out right after Lo calmed you down. We laughed at the general and Robert being disaster gays, and then we came here." Joey explained, handing the kid his chihuahua, probably as some sort of fake emotional support animal or something. But did he really have to point out Robert and John's awkwardness? Taylor took Diane gratefully, and hugged the canine like their life depended on it. "Anyways, this is PEIP headquarters. If you don't want to be grilled to death by the government, I would suggest you zip your hoodie."

"Th-thanks." Taylor answered, giving a small smile, before zipping the sweatshirt and scratching behind Diane's ears.

"I don't know if this is the best time, but, uh, what are your pronouns?" Robert asked the kid.

"Oh, uh, thanks for asking, I guess. I use she/they. Mostly she/her, but uh, since my parents aren't here, well..." Taylor trailed off at the end. John nodded, understanding. Either she wasn't out to her parents, they were just somewhere between mildly and very homophobic, or a combination of the two. Probably the latter, John decided.

"Uh, are we going somewhere, or are we just going to stand here surrounded by the scary people with the guns?" Draco asked, a slight waver in his still smug tone, meaning that he was actually a bit scared of what he'd called 'scary people with the guns'. Almost as a second thought, he added, "Also, could you point me towards your potty? I need to use it." He looked pleased with himself, and very proud, even though he, a fifteen year old boy, actually said the word 'potty'. John and Curt exchanged a look, seemingly having an entire argument with their eyes, an argument that apparently Curt lost. Said teenager sighed in defeat, John smirking a bit.

"Uh, I guess I'll show you." Curt grumbled, walking away towards the mens room with Draco.

"Well. He isn't here anymore, but to answer that boy's question, you are going somewhere. Namely, my office. Now, McNamara. Bring them too. You have some explaining to do." Cynthia sauntered down the stairs, seemingly from nowhere, although John knew that she had been lurking in the shadows, waiting for a dramatic moment to enter.

"Yes, all of you need to come and answer some things too. Cynthia, love, would you like to question them in your office, or shall I bring them to an interrogation room?" Owen Carvour, the espionage prodigy and longtime crush of Curt Mega asked from his position behind his boss.