How Long is Forever [COMPLETED]

The Things I Said

Time passes by as you stare out of the caravan's plastic window. Sunlight makes way for dark grey storm clouds, and night chases away what's left from the day. Rainfall blurs the sight, but maybe it's just your own tears.

Somewhere in between, a steaming cup of tea is placed on the table next to you, but it cools off untouched. Later, a cup of instant noodles joins, but it stays unnoticed as well.

Thunder breaks the silence now and then, and bolts light up your face as the storm comes closer. In the middle of this nearing typhoon, you almost don't notice how Chishiya sits down next to you.

"You need to eat."

You slowly turn your head towards him, eyes sore and lips dry with the salty taste of your tears still on them. Chishiya has washed his hair, the damp strands are still clinging to his face and the scent of strawberries reaches your nose as he shoves the noodles closer to you.

Swallowing heavily, you let out a feint sob. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

He doesn't say something and instead pulls you into a hug, his hand clumsily caressing your back while you begin to sob even more. "I'm so sorry. I didn't listen to you."

You feel his chest vibrate as he lets out a slight chuckle. "You rarely do."

Chishiya cups your face in both of his hands and turns it towards the table. "Now eat."

The noodles are cold and sticky, but you wouldn't have tasted them anyway. Eating is something your body does automatically, but you feel too hollow to enjoy it.

Outside of the caravan, the storm increases. Thick raindrops fall down on your shelter now, making enough noise to drown the feint hiss of the gas lamp. A heavy wind blows as well, and you wonder if the caravan will be able to withstand the storm at all.

You don't remember eating all the noodles, but somehow the plastic cup has emptied. Chishiya takes it away with a pleased nod, replacing it with the cup of tea instead. It doesn't have much flavor now that it is cold, but it helps your dried out throat nonetheless.

Nothing else is placed in front of you after the tea is gone, and you stare into the flame of one of the candles that light the caravan's inside next to the gas lamp.

"Will you forgive me?" you whisper into the flame, and you feel how Chishiya shifts next to you.

"There is nothing to forgive."

"But... I should have trusted you..." you remember the subtle warnings Chishiya had given you. The ways he had tried to keep you away from Hibiki. Not out of jealousy, but because he wanted to keep you save.

What would you know about friendship?

"The things I said to you..."

You bury your head into Chishiya's chest, not ready to look him into the eyes yet. How can he not be angry at you, after you put both of you in danger?

Chishiya pokes your head with his index finger, and the movement is strangely familiar to you. "I told you already that it couldn't be bad to use this thing here more often."

Too tired to say something in return, you simply let out a sigh and close your eyes. Would you have believed him if he had warned you about Hibiki during the game? There would have been no reason at all for him to lie to you. Unless...

"I thought that maybe you were jealous." You admit in the end, and Chishiya answers with a snort.

"That boy was, what? Twelve?"

The corners of your mouth turn into a smile. It would be ridiculous to think Chishiya cares about such things as jealousy. He has stated enough times already that he doesn't love you and that he doesn't intend to, so there's no reason for him to bother if you show interest in someone else at all.