How Long is Forever [COMPLETED]

Be the One

The walk back to the caravan really is exhausting. Whenever your legs manage to calm down a bit, Chishiya puts you back on your feet so you can walk yourself, but it never goes well for longer than a couple of minutes. As soon as they start to tremble too much, he will lift you up again and carry you for some time longer. You don't even have to ask him – he simply knows whenever you can't walk anymore.

In those times you can rest in Chishiya's arms, you doze off more than once when the pain allows you to. The dreams are bizarre and confusing, images that don't make sense to you, feelings that you can't pin down properly. But when the sun breaks through the clouds and covers you in warm light, you remember the space between life and death.

"Chishiya...?" you have to clear your throat before you can speak, and you keep your eyes closed while the rhythmic movements of his steps make you even more sleepy. He hums, waiting for you to continue.

"Have... have you ever thought about death? What comes after?"

You can feel his breath on your skin as he sighs, and you nearly doze off again before he answers. "I don't think there comes anything. I'll die, and that's it."

The wind tousles your hair and blows it into your face, but your hands still tremble too much for you to do something against it. At least it's warmer now that the sun shines, and there is no rain. "But I have seen something. Like... a world in between? There was a light, calling me. And it was so tempting to conquer, I... I almost gave in to it."

"Why didn't you?"

Your lips turn into a soft smile as you snuggle deeper into his touch. "I heard your voice, telling me to stay."

Chishiya tenses, just for a single heartbeat, and you can feel how his hands clasp around your body more tightly. "So you listened to me, for once."

"Don't get used to it."

He chuckles, and you give in to exhaustion once more.

When you open your eyes again, you're passing the shopping centre just a street above the caravan. You nudge Chishiya's shoulder as a sign to let you down, and he does so carefully. Like an infant taking their first steps, you place one foot in front of another. Chishiya is there to support you, and your legs feels so incredibly heavy.

"That place... wherever that was... it made me feel carefree. Weightless." It was a good feeling, and you still miss it somehow. The way you had been able to float through the space, how not a single negative thought made its way into your mind...

Chishiya snorts, a sound that makes you roll your eyes. "Let me assure you – you're not."

You punch him in the side, a move that hurts you more than him, and it throws you out of balance. Both of you laugh while Chishiya helps you to get back on your feet, and his comment makes you shake your head. "Jackass."

"Thanks." Now it's his turn to nudge you, although he does it so gently enough to not knock you over again.

A memory returns, from a time that feels like it has been ages ago. Chishiya and you on the rooftop of the Beach, in the middle of the night, with you dressed in nothing but swimwear. You had asked for a hug back then, and he had allowed you one. Was this the moment he started to care? Did he accept to meet you the next night because you were not insignificant to him any longer?

Finally you arrive at the caravan, and wonderful warmth greets you the moment Chishiya opens the door. You clumsily climb the stairs to get inside, and you're thankful that you had let the heater run when you headed off to your little shopping tour that ended in a Hearts game.