Remorse- Yaman realises all his sins.

Chapter 7

"…There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad."

-Homer, The Iliad

Seher looked up at Yaman and instantly sprang back on the bed and created distance between them. Wiping her face, she stuttered, " I-I am really sorry. I apologize. Please forgive me. I don't know what came over me. I seemed to have been witnessing a n-nightm..." Suddenly she stopped, as if deciding against sharing such intimate information with him.

She simply asked again, " H-how did you come in?"

Yaman looked into her eyes intently, as if searching for her soul and her trust. Seher noticed a gentleness and fondness in his eyes. He softly said ," Please don't apologize for anything. I heard your cries and tried unlatching the windows to come in. Luckily the kitchen window was unlocked."

He was looking all over her to ensure she was alright and not distressed anymore. Seher felt uneasy under his scrutiny and lifted her bedsheet right up to her chin to cover herself.

But Yaman had already seen all that was to be seen, in his phone light. She was wearing a very modest and unassuming white shirt but it still could not cover her feminine curves effectively. Her mussed hair and rumpled clothes made her look all the more endearing and lovable. His throat became dry and he realised he had to get away from this innocent, blushing and scared woman right away, before he lost himself.

He reminded himself that Seher hated him at the moment. He had no right to see such luscious dreams of his beautiful, enchanting wife. He suddenly came back to his senses and said, " I am sorry I barged in like this. I heard you cry in your sleep and I couldn't stop myself. I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. I am leaving and you take rest now. Please lock the door and windows."

After a pause he said, "I will be outside. I know you don't want it but I still want to assure you that nothing can harm you anymore. Not even me, as long as I am here."

Saying this he got up from her bed and bent down to give her a glass of water from her bedstand. Seher took the glass from his hands gingerly and drowned the entire contents in one single gulp.

Befor he could leave, he turned back one last time and said, " Seher, I can bear everything except seeing fear in your eyes when you look at me. I know you hate me and think I am a beast, but I will never cross the boundary when it comes to being physical or trying to force physical intimacy on you, that too when you are not aware or not in your senses. I would be the lowliest of creature to even contemplate something this rotten. I will not hurt your innocence for the world. I have hurt you a lot, I know. But just be assured that I will not violate you in any way Seher. "

Saying this he left the room.

Seher was dazed for a minute. She knew in her heart already that Yaman would never cross the line, against her wishes. Despite what he thought of himself, she knew him to be a thorough gentleman.

What she was afraid of were totally different things- she was afraid of his unjust accusations; she was afraid of trying to defend herself without even knowing her faults; she was afraid of her own heart and that she may forgive him easily and she was also afraid of those sad eyes of his, which made her forget that she was very hurt and aggrieved with him.

She reiterated to herself that SHE HAD TO BE STRONG. She could not become the crying Seher all over again. She had to make Yaman realise his mistakes and convey how much hurt and broken she had been with his behaviour, these past few weeks.

She slowly got up, drank another glass of water and dried her tears. She could not remove Yaman's smell from her person. She scorned herself for yearning for his comfort, nightmares notwithstanding.

Seher walked over to her bedroom window and peeped outside, only to find Yaman sitting in his car. She kept looking at him and then decided to go back to bed and not think about him anymore !

Yaman had spotted Seher at her bedroom window but decided not to look at her or react. He could not be weak again. Every time he glanced at her, he wanted to hug her, touch her and feel her. He wanted to smell her and bury his face deep in her hair and cry his heart out.

She had become his raison d'être; his reason to breathe and live, other than Yusuf.

He avowed to himself to reunite Seher with her legacy, Yusuf and become a fierce mountain of protection for both of them and shield them from all the vagaries of life. His wife and his Yusuf would never ever suffer because of him and he would give them all the affection in the world.

Whispering her name to himself, as if like a prayer, he determined that he would move heaven and earth, if need be, but would make sure that this trusting and innocent woman he loved shall never ever shed tears again. He decided to not give up for the sake of both of them and their love, and started formulating plans on how to win back Seher in his life.

To be continued.