Wish You Were Here

Chapter 9

Derek arches his eyebrow as he looks into her eyes. He sees the desire there but doesn't want to take advantage.

Derek: Are you sure?

Meredith runs her hand over his cheek and through his hair while leaning even closer to him. Their mouths are now only inches apart. Derek can feel her hot breath against his face and he feels like he is inhaling the sweetest scent, besides her hair of course. He touches her cheek lightly with his hand before intwining his fingers with hers that have come to rest on his chest. She is feeling his heart beat. Every moment occurs in slow motion as time appears to stand still. Neither want to rush in everything and both want to savor every moment, every touch, every taste, every sensation. Meredith leans forward even further so that her lips are mere centimeters from his. Their eyes are not locked on the lips of the other, but connected in a gaze that penetrates deep into their souls.

Meredith: I'm sure.

With these words Meredith lightly brushes her lips against Derek's, sighing in the relief of once again feeling his lips on hers. They both begin to feel the intense despair of needing the other.

Derek: I love you. I love you so much.

Meredith answers by crashing her lips against Derek's harder this time. Derek runs his fingers throuh her soft hair. He runs his tongue over her lips that amazingly taste like strawberries. Once his hands find the back of her neck he pulls her closer, deepening the kiss as he plunges his tongue past the barrier of her lips and into the depths of her mouth. His tongue meets hers as they seek to relearn every part of the other's mouth.

Meredith tangles her fingers in Derek's mess of curls as she desperately hangs on, almost as if she is afraid to let go. Derek moves his hand from the back of her neck, down her back along her spine, finally cupping her ass and pulling her closer. She feels his erection against the stomach and rubs against him, causing him to groan into her mouth. They finally break apart when the need for oxygen forces them apart. Derek rests his forehead against Meredith's as he runs his hand up and down her side.

Derek: I have missed you. I have missed you so damn much.

Meredith reaches up and plays with stray curl that is resting on his forehead.

Meredith: I have missed me. I have missed me because I'm not me without you. You make me who I am. I love you and I missed you. You better not ever leave me again.

Derek pulls Meredith's body closer in a loving embrace. He holds her close for a few minutes, both can hear the fast beating hearts of the other. The hearts that seem to be connected by an invisible lifeline that supplies each with the passion, love, and desire for the other. Those things which make them live, that make them love. Those things which flow from their hearts and through their arteries to every square inch of their bodies. Those things that make them one half of the whole, because neither is whole without the other.

When Derek finally releases Meredith, he has tears running down his face. Meredith is shocked as she leans up and gently kisses them away. She gently caresses his cheek with her fingers.

Meredith: Der, what is it?

Derek: I love you, Meredith. I love you and I promise that I am never going to leave you again. I promise.

Derek leans forward and captures Meredith's lips, in a brief kiss filled with the intense passion which is coursing through his body. Derek pulls away and looks into her eyes. He sees the love and forgiveness in her eyes. He knows that it is soon, and he knows that he should wait, but he doesn't want to waste another moment apart from the love of his life.

Derek: I know it is still soon Mer, but I don't want to waste another minute of my life without you by my side. I don't want to wake up one more morning without you by my side and I don't want to fall asleep one more night without you in my arms. You have become my life support, Meredith. Without you, I become the shell of a person. You saved me once, but ever since that time you have saved me every single day. Just the scent of your hair, or the sight of your tiny ineffectual fists, or you bossing me around, or simply your smile...all of these things and so many more continue to save me. I love you so much, Meredith Grey.

Meredith now has tears running down her cheeks as she searches his eyes.

Meredith: What are you saying Derek?

Derek engulfs both of her hands in his as he pulls them up to his mouth. He kisses each hand while maintaining eye contact with her. He lowers her hands just a bit so that they rest on his chin.

Derek: I am asking you, Meredith Ellis Grey, to make my life complete, to continue to be my life support for the rest of our lives. I am asking you, Meredith Grey, to become my wife, to become Meredith Ellis Shepherd. Will you marry me?
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Meredith sits there in shock. She doesn't know what to think. She can't believe he just asked her to marry him. She looks at Derek and realizes that she must have been silent for a while because of the nervous look that has begun to spread across his face. She reaches her hand up and runs her fingers lightly over his lips as she leans in closer. When she does speak, her lips are mere centimeters from Derek's and he can feel her warm breath and the vibrations of her voice against his lips.

Meredith: Seriously??

Derek chuckles nervously.

Derek: Seriously.

Meredith (in a voice louder than what she intends): Yes! Yes, of course I will marry you!

They both laugh through the tears that have begun to fall from both of their eyes. Derek leans forward and presses his lips against Meredith's. He pulls away before deepening the kiss.

Derek: I love you, Meredith Grey.

Meredith: I love you, Derek Shepherd.

They both reach up and wipe away the remnants of their tears of happiness. This is what they both want. This is all that they need. Each other. And now, now they have each other for forever. Derek leans in and kisses Meredith again.

Derek (in an awestruck voice): You are my fiance.

Meredith giggles.

Meredith: Why yes I am, and you are mine.

Derek: I am yours. For forever.

Meredith: For forever.

Derek leans in and kisses Meredith deeply, his tongue exploring the depths of her mouth, wanting to savor every distinct taste. He shifts his body closer to hers as he runs his hands through her hair. Her hands works through his tangle of curls and rest at the back of his neck, dark hair clutched tightly in their grasp. When they finally break apart, they are breathless. Silly grins are plastered on both of their faces.

Derek: You are going to be my wife.

Meredith: You are going to be my husband.

They sit in silence, just staring at each other, getting lost in the moment.

Meredith: I finally have a family.

Derek reaches up and gently caresses Meredith's cheek.

Derek: Yes. You have a family. We...we have a family.

Meredith smiles as the tears begin to fill her eyes again. Derek reaches up and wipes away the lone tear that trails down her cheek.

Meredith: Derek?

Derek: Mmhmm?

Meredith: Make love to me, Derek.

Derek looks at her intently.

Derek: Are you sure? I mean, isn't it a little soon after the birth..

Meredith giggles as she places her finger over his lips.

Meredith: Shh..I'm sure. I'm fine. I...I want you, Derek. I need you.

Derek(husky voice): I need you too, Meredith. Oh God, do I need you.

Derek leans in and crashes his lips against Meredith's. He sucks on her bottom lip before nipping it lightly. Meredith moans as he thrusts his tongue into her mouth. She pulls his body closer to hers and feels his erection against her stomach. Derek rolls her over onto her back as his mouth moves from her mouth. He places small kisses on either side of her mouth before moving to her neck. She moans as Derek nips at her collar bone. She lifts her hips off of the bed and rubs them against his erection. He groans.

Derek (breathless): Mer....

Meredith (breathless): Der...I need to feel you inside of me...please...I...

Derek silences Meredith by covering her mouth with his. His hands move up under her shirt and he gently caresses her stomach. His heart aches as he thinks about missing seeing her pregnant, missing feeling them move under her soft flesh. He gently raises her shirt and breaks the contact with her lips to remove the article of clothing.

He gasps as he looks at her transformed body. Suddenly, Meredith feels uncomfortable. He notices her discomfort.

Derek: You are so beautiful. You...wow..Mer...I can't...wow...

Meredith blushes as Derek moves his hands over her stomach. She gasps in pleasure as he begins to gently massage her breasts through her bra. She reaches down and tugs on the hem of his shirt. He lifts up and quickly removes the aritcle of clothing. She runs her hands over her chiseled chest. He shivers under her touch.

Meredith: I have missed touching you, feeling you, smelling you. I have missed you.

Derek leans down and Meredith gasps as she feels his bare chest against her skin.

Derek: I have missed feeling your touch, breathing you in, feeling you around me. I have missed you.

Derek reaches around and unhooks Meredith's bra, releasing her larger breasts. These are new to Derek. He looks down at them in awe. He runs his finger lightly over the soft skin before brushing the pads of his thumbs over her nipples. Her breathing become shallow. It has been too long. It has been too long since she has been with him. It has been to long. It has been too long since he has been with her.

He leans down and brushes her tongue lightly over each of her nipples. He takes one nipple into his mouth, sucking on it for a few moments before biting down gently, eliciting a pleasurable moan from Meredith. Derek feels his desire bubbling under his skin, intensifying with every moment, every touch, every sound.

He hooks his thumbs under the waistband of both her sweats and her panties. He blows his hot breath against her skin as he slowly and tantalizingly pulls down her last articles of clothing. Her skin erupts in goosebumps. She is full of anticipation, desire, love, and passion. So many emotions run thruogh her that her mind seems to have stopped working and her heart reigns supreme.

Derek makes his way back up her body and finds her mouth. She feels his erection through the thin material of his pajamas rubbing against her core. She reaches down and pushes the boxers down as far as she can manage. When her hands can do no more, she brings her feets up to finish the work, in the process providing Derek with the perfect entrance. He reaches down and inserts a finger into her warm, wet folds to make sure that she is ready. She gasps.

Meredith: Now, Derek!

Derek doesn't need anymore prompting. He slowly inserts his throbbing manhood into her heated core. Both moan in pleasure as their bodies are connected both in body and in spirit. Derek looks deep into her eyes, both pair overflowing with love.

Derek: Are you okay?

Meredith nods vigorously.

Derek begins to thrust into her slowly, wanting to be careful not to hurt her while also wanting to take his time to memorize every moment of their reunion.

Meredith (panting): Faster, Derek. Please.

Derek grunts as he begins to thrust into her faster, still holding back. His body aches from the restraint, but he doesn't care. He does not want to hurt her anymore than he already has. Meredith's nails dig into his back, encouraging him to continue.

Meredith: Harder!

Derek finally lets go and begins to put all of his love and all of his desire behind each thrust. He wants to make her feel good. He wants to make her come. He feels her walls begin to tighten around him as her nails dig deeper into his skin.

Meredith: Oh God, Der...I'm...Shit...wow...mmmm...ahhhh..Der...I'm...I'm...shitttttt...

Meredith's body begins to shudder as the first wave of her orgasm hits. Derek can't hold back anymore as his body starts to tremble as he thurst into her one final time, spilling into her while they simulatenously cry out the name of the other in pleasure. They lay there for a moment, bodies and spirits still connected, bodies glistening with sweat. Derek's face is buried in Meredith's neck as her hands run up and down Derek's muscled back. She loved the way his back muscles twitch under her hands, especially after sex. Both are struggling to normalize their breathing and to clear the clouds that seem to have overtaken their consciousness.

Meredith: That was...

Derek: Wow...

Meredith: Yeah...

Derek finally rolls off of Meredith, but gathers her into his arms, not ready nor wanting to let her go. He runs his hands up and down her naked, sweaty body.

Derek: I love you.

Meredith: I love you too.

They both drift off into the most peaceful sleep they have had in a while, smiles plastered on their faces as they cling to each other, dreaming of their future as a family, as husband and wife.
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Meredith moves her hands slowly over Derek's bare chest and abdomen, relishing in the moment of their close contact, fearing that somehow it is all too good to be true. Derek is looking down and watching her, a smile plastered on his face as his hand slowly moves up and down her spine. This is how it is supposed to be. He can't believe that he has missed this for so long. How could he have been so stupid? He has always known that it was her.

Words aren't really needed right now in the post-coital glow that seems to have taken over the atmosphere. Both feel a sense of relief, as if they have been underwater for months and are finally able to break the still, stagnant surface of the water are breathe in their oxygen, each other. Words. What do words really mean, anyways? They have never been too good with words, communicating instead with their eyes and with their bodies. Their eyes seem to have the ability to look into each other's souls and decipher all the phrases that lie hidden deep in the depths of their hearts. Their bodies, the communication between their bodies has developed into a sort of rythmic dance. A dance that seems to be reinvented each time they they meet as the songs change. A dance that finds its roots in both their hearts and their animalic nature.

Meredith's fingers trail down the small, dark line of hair that runs down the center of Derek's abdomen. She loves his happy trail and she loves the way that his toned muslces feel under her tiny fingers. She instinctively cuddles further into his body, relishing in the warmth that she never thought she would feel again. She has been cold for so long, missing him, needing him. The warmth to her is as welcome as the needed oxygen. She needs his warmth. She needs his strong arms to protect her, to comfort her. With the cold came a certain numbness, a sort of surrender to the inevitable. When he left, when he left she gave up on ever finding love again. She gave up because she knew that when he left, he took her heart with her. She gave up because she knew that the only way she would ever find love again was if she found him again.

Derek relishes in the feeling of each vertebra under his strong fingers as his hand slowly makes its way up and down her spinal column. She is strong. He has always known that she is strong. It is one of the things that he admires, loves about her. He inhales deeply and the scent of lavender fills his lungs, her scent, his oxygen. In less than a day, he has gotten everything that he has ever wanted. He has the love of his life lying in his arms, his fiance. He can't help but smile at that thought. Meredith Grey is his fiance. She is going to marry him. She is going to be his wife.

Not only is Meredith going to marry him, but she has already given him two wonderful children. He wishes that he could have been there for her, through it all. He hates that he wasn't there for her. He thought he was doing the right thing, leaving her to be happy. He can't believe that she has already forgiven him. He can't believe it. His children are beautiful and amazing, and his fiance...she is the love of his life and the mother of his children. He keeps running through these things in his head, still unable to grasp them. He is afraid that if he closes his eyes he will wake up only to learn that this past day was all a dream. That Meredith really isn't lying in his arms, running her fingers gingerly over his abdomen.

He tightens his grip on her as she moves closer into his body. She is his warmth, his home, his everything. He loves her so much. He can't wait to make her his wife. He can't wait to introduce her to his family. His sisters can be harsh, but his mother, his mother will love Meredith. She will love Meredith because he loves Meredith.

Derek (in a low husky voice): Mer...

Surprisingly, the words do not cut through the silence. They seem to float down to her ears and into her heart. She lazily looks up at him with heavy eyes and instantly meets his. He is smiling and she can't help but smile in return.

Meredith: Mmhmm?

Derek: Tell me about them.

Meredith is a little surprised by his question, but his words tug at her heart. Meredith's smile broadens and she moves her body up the bed so that her forehead rests against his. She wants to be as close to him as possible.

Meredith: Well, they are still young but already they have strong personalities. Micheal reminds me of you. He seems shy and he is pretty quiet, but he also seems to have this confidence. He is not going to have a problem with the girls when he gets older. I bet he inherits your trademark look.

Derek chuckles.

Derek: And what look would that be?

Meredith sighs.

Meredith: You know, the McDreamy look. The one where you slightly tilt your head to the side and you look deep into my eyes and then smile. Not just any smile, no, the smile that travels all the way to your eyes and causes them to twinkle. Usually, if you speak, you can even hear the smile in your voice.

Derek is a bit surprised by how well Meredith knows his mannerisms, but then he realizes that he shouldn't be. He knows hers just as well.

Derek nods, encouraging her to continue.

Meredith: Well, Maddie, Maddie can be a bit studdorn. Sometimes she will refuse to eat if you don't hold her the right way or if you don't talk to her. She is louder than Michael and I think she will be able to fend for herself. If they have trouble sleeping, you can put them in the same crib and it's like they find comfort in each other. They know that they aren't alone and that they will never be alone because they will always have each other..and us, of course.

Derek leans forward and lightly brushes his lips against hers.

Derek: Yes, they will always have us. Thank you.

Meredith: For what?

Derek: For telling me about them, for forgiving me, for loving me, for letting me back in, for agreeing to marry me...for being you...for everything. I just...I love you so much...I couldn't imagine this with anyone else. I love you and I can't wait to make you my wife.

Meredith smiles at him and leans in so that her lips are only centimeters from him.

Meredith: I couldn't not do those things. I love you. I love you so much that I couldn't imagine this with anyone else either. It has always been you, Derek Shepherd. It has always been you.

Derek and Meredith allow their emotions for overtake them as their lips crash together in a kiss filled with love and passion. Their bodies react to each other as they spend the night practicing the dance that they have perfected, all the while their babies sleeping soundly through the night as their parents reunite several time, christening their first night spent together as a family.