Wish You Were Here

Chapter 14

Meredith lies in the bed of the hotel room, one hand resting on her flat stomach her other holding her cell phone. He has called her twenty times. Twenty times. She is certain that her voicemail inbox is full. She is certain yet she can't bring herself to listen to a single message. She is afraid that if she hears his voice she will break.

But she can't sleep.

She can't sleep without him now. She slept next to him last night and now she can't sleep without him. One night and she can't sleep without him. Seriously. This is what he does to her.

She forces her eyelids closed, but instead of finding sleep, they ache. Almost every part of her aches from his absence. She misses his scent. She should have stuck his shirt into her bag so she could at least smell him.

She is feeling a bit nauseous from her doses of the morning after pill. She isn't ready for more children. Hell, motherhood still scares her. She can't believe that she is a mother. She is the mother of Derek's kids. He is the father to her kids. They are parents. Together.

His family. She can't believe that he just sprung that on her like it is no big deal. It is a big. A very big deal. To her it is a huge deal. A freaking gigantic deal. Bigger than that one patient's grossly large tumor. Seriously.

Doesn't he get it? Can't he see that she has never had a family? That being a part of his family means the world to her? She wants to share that part of him. She wants to hear the stories about when he was a kid and about all the trouble he got into when he was a teenager. She wants to know things about him. She wants to know him. She wants to know his past because she wants so badly to be his future.

She sighs as she throws her head back against the pillow violently. How is it that he is already affecting her like this? Seriously?? He really is an ass. She wonders what he is doing now?

She walks over to the window and watches the lightening cut across the sky and the rain pour down. She loves the rain. She loves the rain but she can't sleep when it storms. The thunder has always scared her. She has never been able to sleep when it is thundering. Never unless she was in Derek's arms. However, she knows that the reason she can't sleep tonight has nothing to do with the tumult that is going on outside her window and everything to do with the vacancy that is residing in her heart and in her bed.

Meredith leans her forehead against the window. The glass feels so cool against her heated skin. She closes her eyes but all she can see is his face. His eyes. His eyes looking deep into hers. She sighs and her breath causes the glass to fog up. She reaches up and idly draws a heart on the glass, a gesture that reminds her of something she used the do as a kid. She wants to giggle. She wants to, but she doesn't. She would giggle if Derek was there. If Derek was there to giggle with her. Wait. Derek doesn't giggle. He chuckles. Giggling is too.....girly. Definitely not Derek.

She jumps as there is a sudden and urgent knocking on her door. She looks at the clock on the bed side table: 3:30. It is 3:30 in the morning. Who in the hell could be at her door?
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Meredith slowly makes her way towards the door as the knocking gets louder and becomes constant.

Meredith(in an aggravated voice): I'm coming!

Meredith reaches the looks and stands up on her tippy toes to look out of the peep hole. The sight that greets her causes her to gasp. How in the hell did he find her? She quickly opens the door to reveal the soaking wet form of none other than Derek Shepherd. She gasps.

Meredith: Derek!

Derek looks into her eyes and she sees it. She sees that he has been crying. His eyes are red and he looks like crap. More like crap ran over...twice.

Derek (in a somewhat angry voice): Hello, Meredith....Shepherd.

Meredith cringes. She used his last name when she checked in, never expecting him to find her under that alias.

Meredith: I...umm...yeah...I was...just...uhhh..you know....

Derek steps past Meredith and into the room. Meredith sees him shiver and worry takes over.

Meredith: Follow me.

Derek: What?

Meredith: You are soaking wet, Derek. I was going to get you a towel and a robe. I don't want you to get sick.

Derek walks up to her, his body only inches from her.

Derek: You don't want me to get sick? You don't want me to get sick? Then why the HELL did you decide to play fucking hide and seek with me?

He runs his hand through his dripping wet hair.

Derek: Jesus, Meredith. I have been combing Seattle for you since I left your house. I...Jesus...I was so worried...

Derek stops himself before he gets angry. He inhales deeply before walking over to her and grabbing her wrists. Meredith tries to take a step back, but he holds her in place.

Derek: I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I didn't tell you they were coming. It honestly slipped my mind. I was just so happy and I didn't think about it. I'm an idiot. I'm an ass. I know and I am so sorry, Meredith. Please, please believe me that I'm sorry. I never want to hurt you again and I can't...

Derek has to stop speaking as the tears begin to flow down his face once more. He finds himself close to sobbing as he releases one of Meredith's wrists to run his large hand over his face.

Meredith's face instantly softens as she reaches up and cups Derek's face in her hands, his hand still grasping one of her wrists, almost as if he is afraid to let go of her out of fear she will run again.

Meredith: I'm sorry.

Derek removes his hand from his face and sees that tears are glistening in her eyes. Before he can respond Meredith is on her tippy toes and her lips are on his. Derek groans as he releases her wrist and wraps his arms around her waist. He pulls her body into his, getting her clothes wet from the contact with him. She breaks the kiss when oxygen is necessary.

Meredith: We really need to get you out of those clothes, Der.

Derek smirks as he sees her perky nipples through her now wet, white tank.

Derek: I think we need to get you out of yours as well.

Meredith looks at her own clothes and sees that they are wet. She turns back and smiles seductively at Derek.

Meredith: I think that you are right, Dr. Shepherd.

Derek: I am always right, Dr. Grey.
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Meredith puts her hands on Derek's chest, stopping his as he advances towards her. Derek looks at her, completely confused.

Meredith: I really am sorry, Derek. I never meant to upset you this much.

Derek grabs Meredith's wrists and lifts her hands so that he can intertwine his fingers with hers. Meredith stares at their hands, fingers laced as their palms are pressed together. This simple gesture speaks volumes about the love that Derek Shepherd has for her. It is these small gestures, small gestures that she has never really had before, that tell her that he loves her.

When Meredith looks back up at Derek, she has tears falling down her cheeks. Derek tries to release one of Meredith's hands so that he can wipe them away, but Meredith won't let him go. Derek looks into her eyes, his own full of confusion.

Derek: Mer?

Meredith: I just...I'm so sorry and now...you are holding my hands...and they fit...they fit perfectly..

Derek smiles at her as he takes a small step towards her, decreasing the space that seperates their bodies.

Derek (in a soft voice): They do. They are a perfect fit. We are a perfect fit.

Meredith finally releases Derek's hands and his hands immediately cup her face, his thumbs wiping away her tears.

Derek: I love you, Mer. Please, please, please do not run away from me anymore. Yell at me, ignore, hell, even hit me, but please don't run away. I cannot stand the thought of losing you.

By the time Derek finishes speaking there are a few tears trailing down his face. Meredith reaches up and slowly brushes them away. She looks at him in the eyes as she traces his bottom lip with one of her forefingers.

Meredith: You will never lose me. I'm yours. I'm your for forever.

Before another word can be said, lips are crashing down with a fervid need. They need to taste each other. They need to feel each other. They need each other.

Derek places one hand firmly on the small of Meredith's back as he uses his other hand to caress her cheek, wanting to show her through these simple touches just how much he loves her. Meredith moves her hands over Derek's broad shoulders and down his back, pulling his body closer to hers. She wants to be close to him. She needs to be close to him.

Derek moves his lips from her to the corner of her mouth, down her jaw bone, and to her neck. Meredith moans as she feels Derek's warm lips against her chill skin. He sends shivers down her spine while simultaneously increasing the heat of her core.

Meredith reaches down and tugs at the hem of Derek's wet shirt. He reluctantly pulls away from her neck as she pulls the sweater over his head. As soon as he is free of the sweater he immediately returns to her neck as Meredith begins to work on the buttons of his button-up shirt. Meredith pushes the shirt off of Derek's shoulders as his hands brush over her abdomen.

Suddenly, something occurs to Meredith. She pushes him back. Derek gets a confused look on his face as he stumbles a bit, trying to regain his footing and his senses.

Meredith: You are still an ass!

Derek runs his hand through his wet hair, his erection pressing against the material of his pants.

Derek: Mer..

Meredith: No. You say Meredith and I yell. Remember?

Derek just nods at her and he can't help smiling. Meredith places her fists on her hips, causing Derek to smile even more.

Meredith: Are you freaking smiling?! Seriously?! Seriously, Derek?!

Meredith hits Derek in the chest.

Derek (chuckling): Ow!

Meredith: You. Are. Such. An. Ass!

Meredith punctuates each word with her fist against Derek's chest. Finally, Derek grabs Meredith's wrist.

Meredith: Let me go!

Derek doesn't answer. Instead he pulls Meredith closer to his body and he silences her yells with his mouth. Meredith fights him at first, biting down harshly on his lip. but this only excites him more. She finally gives in when he forcefully thrusts his tongue into her mouth and rubs his erection against her stomach.

Derek releases Meredith's wrist only to wrap his strong arms around her body. Meredith begins to push him back towards the bed, him pulling her with him. Derek trips over his discarded sweater and falls back on the floor, pulling Meredith down on top of him.

Derek: Oh!

Meredith giggles before sitting up and straddling him. She drags her nails down his chest, leaving red marks. The pain turns Derek on even more and he begins to thrust his hips. He reaches up and quickly pulls Meredith's shirt over her head, her nipples staring right at him, begging for him to tease them with his tongue. Derek captures one of her pink nipples in his mouth, running his tongue around it before biting down, eliciting a gasp from Meredith.

Meredith's hands go to work on Derek's belt as he begins to work on her other nipple. She quickly has the belt undone and his pants unbuttoned. She pushes him back down onto the floor, much to his surprise, and she begins to pulls his pants and boxers down. She is angry and she wants sex. She wants sex now.

After Meredith has fully unclothed Derek she quickly pulls down her own pants and thong. She looks at Derek.

Meredith: Condom?

Derek: Wallet.

Meredith reaches into the back pocket of Derek's discarded pants and pulls out his wallet. She looks in his wallet and finds the condom. She also happens to see that Derek is carrying quite a bit of cash on him.

Meredith throws the wallet down on the floor before opening the condom and sliding it on to Derek's throbbing erection. Derek groans as he feels her hands move over him as she slides it on.

Meredith doesn't waste her time. She climbs up on top of Derek and positions herself over him. She doesn't need anything to get her ready. She is already soaking wet. Meredith wraps one of her hands around Derek's cock as she guides him into her opening. Once the head of his penis is inside of her, Meredith lets go and quickly lowers herself onto him, taking all of him in. He is filling her like he has never filled her before.

Meredith allows herself a moment to adjust as Derek lets out a noise that sounds like something between a growl and a groan. He places his hands on her hips as she begins to ride him. She rides him hard and fast, her anger driving her movement. Derek watches as her breasts bounce with each movement.

He feels her tightening around him as her nails dig into the skin on his chest. He feels his own body tightening as he prepares to release. Meredith arches her back as she rides harder and faster as her orgasm takes over her body. She screams out something incoherent as Derek finds himself groaning as he releases.

Meredith collapses on top of him, her breathing heavy and her body covered in a sheen of sweat. She reaches down and hold onto the condom as she pulls off of Derek. She then collapses on the floor next to him as they both struggle to catch their breath.

Derek can't move right now. He has just had the best sex of his life and he can't move. The same can be said about Meredith as she rests a hand on her sweaty stomach.

Meredith (panting): You...are...taking...me and the twins..shopping tomorrow...

Derek looks over at her and smiles. He can't help but chuckle.

Derek: Okay.

It is several minutes before either of them can muster the strength to get up and go clean themselves and it is even longer before they find themselves in bed, but eventually they do fall asleep. Meredith eventually drapes her arm over Derek's chest and drifts off to sleep as she listens to the rumblings of his stomach and the beating of his heart.
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Derek wakes up the next morning, happier than he has been in a while. He knows that they will be okay. They fought. She ran. He found her and now here they are. Everything will be fine. He knows that now.

He looks at the woman lying next to him on the bed. She is lying on her stomach. The top of the white sheet is just covering the top of her ass. Her hair is splayed out of the pillow with a little falling forward onto her face and his chest. The sunlight is falling across her back, causing her to glow in an almost angelic way. Her lips are slightly parted as a loud snore escapes from her tiny body.

He wants to chuckle, but doesn't out of fear that he will wake her. It has always amazed him how such a large noise can come from such a tiny person. Her hand moves further down his chest and to his abdomen as Meredith pulls herself closer to him. She is slowly starting to wake up. He knows this. He knows this because this is something that he has seen often. He loves to watch her wake up, to her watch her slowly exit that dream state and enter the world. He loves to see her eyes flutter open and land on him, a lazy smile gracing her features as she asks him if he is watching her. He loves it. He loves her.

He notices that her eyelids have started to flutter and she is scrunching up her nose just slightly, something that is barely notices, but he notices. He notices. He notices because he loves her. She sighs as she exhales before opening her eyes. Her green eyes meet his blue. She blinks a couple of times as she tries to adjust to the light. Derek reaches down and brushes a stray strand of hair out of her face.

Derek (in a husky voice): Good morning, beautiful.

Meredith (in a raspy voice): Morning.

Derek runs his hand up and down Meredith's back, relishing in the feel of her soft flesh under his.

Derek: Sleep well?

Meredith: Mmmph.

Derek chuckles. Meredith splays her hand across his abdomen, enjoying the way his abs feel under her fingers. Derek covers her wandering hand with his free one.

Derek: Mer, we still need to talk about you meeting my family.

He feels her body stiffen as she jerks her hand out from under his.

Meredith: There is nothing to talk about.

Derek: So, you are okay with meeting them?

Meredith: I'm not meeting them.

Derek jerks his head in her direction.

Derek: What?

Meredith: You heard me. You can take the twins with you to dinner or whatever, but I'm not going.

Derek: But Mer, they are my family.

Meredith sits up, clutching the sheet to her chest. She looks at him.

Meredith: Exactly. They are your family.

Derek realizes that Meredith has taken his words the wrong way and he sees the hurt on her face. He grabs her wrist as she tries to get out of the bed.

Derek: Mer...

Meredith: Let me go, Derek.

Derek: No. Listen to me. They are my family, but so are you and one day soon, hopefully very soon, they will be your family as well. I want you to meet them, Mer. Please, meet them for me?

Meredith looks at him.

Meredith: Fine. But first you will take them out to dinner with the twins without me.

Derek opens his mouth to argue with her but she holds up her hand.

Meredith: Take it or leave it, Derek.

Derek closes his mouth.

Derek: Fine.

Meredith crosses her arms over her chest, holding the sheet in place.

Meredith: Now, are you going to tell me why in the hell you are carrying around so much cash?

Derek arches his eyebrow.

Derek: You went through my wallet?

Meredith: Condom. Remember?

Derek: Oh. Yeah.

Meredith: Would it be a problem if I went through your wallet?

Derek: Of course not.

Meredith: Right answer. So, why all the dough?

Derek: That, my love, is a surprise.

Derek inches his arm around Meredith's waist and pulls her body quickly towards his. She giggles as he begins to kiss her neck and shoulders.

Meredith: Derek, you know I hate surprises...

Derek raises his head and looks into Meredith's eyes.

Derek: That is something I am trying to change...

Meredith arches her brow.

Meredith: How do you intend to do that?

Derek: By filling your life with good surprises and trying to remove all of the bad ones.

Meredith giggles again as she moves to straddle Derek's lap. He moves his hands up and down her back as he stares into her eyes. Meredith leans forward, her bare breasts pressing against his chest.

Meredith: You are cheesy.

Derek: You love it.

Meredith: You're right, I do.

Meredith leans forward and captures his lips as they begin to start their morning off the right way.