Wish You Were Here

Chapter 10

Meredith awakes as she feels the warmth of the sun on her bare skin. She sighs as she remembers last night and she smiles as she feels Derek's grip on her tighten, bringing her body closer to his. He buries his face into her long tresses. She nuzzles further into his body, relishing the moment.

Derek (in a husky voice): Good morning, fiance.

Meredith giggles.

Meredith: Good morning, fiance.

Derek; So, they slept through the night...

Meredith: Yeah, they have been for a couple of days night.

Derek: Mmmm.

Meredith turns around in his arms so that she is now facing him. He leans forward and brushes his lips gently across hers while his fingers make their way through her sweet scented locks. She reaches out her hand and runs her fingers along his jawline and over his morning stubble.

Meredith: I love you.

Derek smiles broadly.

Derek: I love you too.

Meredith: Do you have to work today?

Derek: No. I don't. I do need to go sign my contract though. What do you have planned?

Meredith: Well, the twins have their check up today. I was wondering...

Derek looks deep into her eyes as she begins to bite on her bottom lip.

Derek: What were you wondering?

Meredith: I was wondering if you would like to go to the appointment with us?

A huge smile spreads across Derek's face, reaching up to his eyes. He pulls Meredith's body even closer to him.

Derek: There is nothing more that I would love to do today than go with you to the twins appointment.

Meredith: Really??

Derek: Really. We can stop by the Chief's office while we are there are sign my contract. I really want you to be there.

Meredith: I want to be there, but why do you want me there?

Derek grabs Meredith's hands and pulls it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on each of her knuckles.

Derek: Because, from now on I want to share everything with you, to do everything with you. This is a big deal and I want to share it with you.

Meredith smiles as she leans forward and places a kiss on the side of his mouth.

Meredith: Good.

Derek: Yeah...

They remain in silence for a minute.

Derek: I was thinking, maybe I could talk to Richard about not having my contract come into effect for a couple of weeks...that way I could spend some time with you and the twins, maybe start under contract when you come back to work..

Meredith: You really want to do that?

Derek: I really want to do that. I want to know them, Mer. I want to be there and I want them to know me. Plus, I want us to make up for lost time.

Meredith (smiling): I would like that.

Derek: Okay then.

Meredith looks deep into Derek's eyes, seeing the love and devotion that he feels towards her. Suddenly, something enters her mind. Her eyes get wide and she jerks her head back. Derek looks at her concerned.

Meredith: SHIT!

Derek reaches out and begins to rub his hand up and down her arm.

Derek: Mer, babe, what is it?

Meredith: Shit! Shit! Shit! I can't believe this. I can't freaking believe this!

Derek: What is it?

Meredith: I'm not on birth control, Derek. I'm not on birth control and last night, we threw the damn condom ad out the window. SHIT! I can't...I can't....I....I...

Derek pulls her body closer to his and rubs his hand up and down her back.

Derek: Shh...everything will be okay, Mer.

Meredith: You don't know that! I can't...I am not ready to be pregnant again, Derek. I'm not ready for that again.

Derek: You may not be.

Meredith laughs sarcastically.

Meredith: Yeah, right. The last time that we had unprotected sex, twins were the result. Last night was like a freaking marathon, Derek. You must have the strongest little swimmers. Seriously! I can't...I can't...I'm not ready for this again...

Derek: Mer, look at me.

Meredith finally looks Derek in the eyes. She doesn't see anger. She just sees love.

Derek: I love you, Mer and if you are pregnant again, if, because you may not be, if you are we will do it together. I promise I will not leave your side. I promise that I will be there for everything. I promise.

Meredith feels slightly better.

Meredith: I just...I'm not ready for this again, Derek. I mean...The twins wouldn't even be one, that is just crazy..and my hormone levels are still crazy...which increases my chances...oh my God...I'm more fertile now than I was at prom...shit...I am not a baby factory...

Derek chuckles.

Derek: I know you're not, babe. I know.

Derek pulls Meredith even closer and he finally feels her body begin to relax in his arms. It is a few minutes before she mumbles into his chest.

Meredith: The next time your soldier decides to fire his ammunition, he better be wearing a damn raincoat.

Derek chuckles as the sounds of whimpering coming from the nursery cut through the air. Meredith leans back.

Meredith: Duty calls.

Meredith climbs out of bed and pulls on a robe. She is surprised when she turns around and sees Derek pulling on a pair of boxers. She raises her eyebrow at him in question. He simply reaches out his hand to her.

Derek: I told you we are going to be doing things together from now on.

Meredith smiles as she slips her tiny hand into Derek's and they walk out of the bedroom to take care of their children, the anxieties of a possible pregnancy pushed to the back of her mind.
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Meredith sits in the passenger seat as Derek drives her and the twins to the hospital for their check-up. She nervously wrings her hands. She can't be pregnant. She is not ready for this. Not now. Not yet. She looks over at Derek tentatively. She bites on her bottom lip.

Derek; What?

Meredith jumps at the sound of his voice. She wasn't expecting him to speak. She didn't think he would notice her watching him. Of course he would, he is Derek. He has always had a sixth sense when it comes to her. Well, almost always.

Meredith: N...nothing.

Derek glances over at her quickly, immediately noticing her nervousness.

Derek: It's not nothing.

Meredith sighs.

Meredith: It's just...I really can't...Derek...I mean...If...I just..I can't....

Derek chuckles.

Derek: Just tell me.

Meredith: Promise me something first.

Derek: What?

Meredith: Promise me you won't get mad?

This gets Derek's attention, but he is determined to keep his eyes on the road. His children and the love of his life are in the car, the last thing he needs is to get them into an accident because he is distracted

Derek: You are making me nervous, Mer.

Meredith: Just promise me.

Derek: I can promise that I will not get angry, but I can't promise that I won't be upset...

Meredith: Fair enough. Just...

Derek: What?

Meredith (almost in a whisper): Don't leave me...us..again...

Derek sharply inhales. He looks over his shoulder and pulls off of the road. He puts the car in park and looks over at Meredith, sincerity and pain in his eyes, fear and nervousness in hers. He moves his hand up and gently caresses her cheek, like it's something that he wants to do everyday for the rest of their lives. She reacts immediately to his touch, leaning into his hand.

Derek (in a stern, loving voice): Mer, I will never leave you, or our children, again. I promise that. I promise that you will never be able again. I will always be by your side. I promise. You have to believe me. I need for you to believe me.

Meredith (barely audible): I'm trying, Derek. I am really trying.

Derek sighs.

Derek: That is all I can ask for right now. I will do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'm here. I'm here for good and no matter how much you may try to get rid of me, I'm not going anywhere. I promise. Through thick and thin, the good and the bad...all of it. I'm here.

Meredith just nods silently.

Derek: Now, tell me what is bothering you.

Meredith gulps, fearing his reaction.

Meredith (in a shaky voice): I was thinking...I was just thinking that maybe when we take the boys for their check-up I just might go talk to Addison and see if maybe she could maybe umm...maybe she might be able to give me..the umm...the morning after pill...it's not that I don't want to have any more children with you Derek, because I've thought about it...I thought about it this morning when I was watching you feed the twins and take care of them...and I do...eventually..but just not now...I'm not ready...I...eventually...I want you to be there with me through everything...the pregnancy..the morning sickness, the hormones, the cravings, the doctor's appointments, the birth...I want you there for that because you missed it this time...I just thought that maybe I might ask Addison because Derek I'm really not ready..I just can't...not when the twins won't even be one...so please don't be mad at me, Derek...I just...

Derek had tried to speak many times during Meredith's little speech, but she kept talking. Finally, he interrupts her rambling.

Derek (loudly): Meredith!

Meredith suddenly stops what she is saying and looks at him. Derek smiles warmly at her rambling, also letting her know that he isn't angry.

Derek: You are rambling.

Meredith (mumbling): Sorry.

Derek: Don't be. I find it endearing.

Derek brushes a strand of hair out of her face as he sighs.

Derek: Mer, if that is what you want I will fully support you. I understand. I do. You are right, three children under the age of one would be incredibly difficult, especially with our schedules, but we could do it, if you wanted to. I support whatever choice you make. I am not angry. I could not be angry at you for this. It is your body and I understand.

Meredith tries to speak, but Derek places his finger on her lips, preventing her from speaking. Derek's eyes begin to water as he speaks his next few sentences.

Derek: I also want to say how happy it makes me that you want to give me even more children, which is more than I deserve. I would love to have more children with you, Mer. I want to be there for it all. I want to hold your hair and rub your back when you have morning sickness, I want to go out at three am to fetch whatever weird thing you may be craving, I want to share the joy of hearing the heartbeat for the first time, and I want to hold you hold and breathe with you as you give birth to our child. I want all of those things. I do, but only when you are ready and only if that is what you want. I want what you want. I love you, Meredith Grey.

Meredith finally lets the sob she has been holding back escape as she leans her forehead against Derek's chest. He gently rubs her back as he kisses her hair. After a few minutes Meredith leans up and looks at him, her eyes reflecting happiness and love through their redness.

Meredith: I'm okay.

Derek: You're okay.

Derek puts the car into drive and continues the drive to the hospital, excited to show off his children for the first time.

Meredith: Thank you, Derek.

Derek looks over at her and smiles quickly.

Derek: For what?

Meredith: For being you.
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They pull into the hospital parking lot, Derek already feeling the excitement building as he is about to show off the twins. He knows that everyone has already seen them. He knows this, but this is the first time that he gets to introduce them as his children. His children. Has a nice ring to it. He looks over at Meredith, who is watching him closely. She has a huge smile on her face and tears in her eyes. She can't believe it. They are a family. A real family. Derek grabs her hand and squeezes it gently.

Derek: Ready?

Meredith: I've been waiting for this for my whole life.

Derek smiles at her. He brings her hand up to his mouth and kisses it before letting it go. They both climb out of the car. Derek goes to the trunk and removes the stroller as Meredith stands next to the back seat, whispering loving words to her children. Derek just stands there for a moment, watching her in awe. He can't believe how natural, how amazing she is at being a mother. Well, he can believe it. He can believe it because he always knew that she had it in her, even if she didn't. He always believed in her. His family. That is his family. They are his family.

Meredith looks up at him and smiles.

Meredith: Well, Daddy, you better hurry up. We don't want to be late.

Derek smiles broadly at her, his smile reaching his eyes. He looks at his watch.

Derek: We still have 45 minutes. Plus, you know that they are never running on time.

Meredith: Yes, we still have 45 minutes before their appointment, but think about how many times we are going to have to stop so people can stare at them.

Derek smiles proudly. Meredith rolls her eyes.

Meredith: Yeah, yeah. You get to show them off, whatever.

She is smiling as she says this. She is happy that he wants to show them off, happy that he is proud.

Derek: I just want everyone to know that they are mine. That they are ours.

Meredith: Everyone knows. Trust me.

Derek looks at her strangely.

Derek: What is that supposed to mean.

Meredith sighs.

Meredith: It means that they have your hair, your eyes, and your last name. Everyone knows. You couldn't deny them if you tried, which you better not even try.

Derek leans forward and kisses her on the forehead.

Derek: I would never dream of it. I know that they are my children. I know. I look at them and I know. I think I've known since the moment I saw them.

Meredith smiles up at him.

Meredith: Just checking.

Derek leans forward and brushes his lips lightly across her ear, sending chills down her spine.

Derek: Don't worry. I could never deny you either. You have my heart, and that is something that I can't live without. You are something that I can't live without.

Meredith turns her head and hungrily presses her lips against Derek's. He is saying all the things that she wants, that she needs to hear. She reaches up and runs her hands through his hair as she pulls him closer, deepening the kiss as her tongue slides past the barrier of his lips. Meredith moans into Derek's mouth as his fingers make their way through her hair. Just as his hands begin to make their way down her back, the crying of one of the twins snaps them back to reality. They pull apart reluctantly, both breathless, both with eyes darkened with desire.

Meredith: We should...

Derek: Yeah...

Derek walks around the car and removes Maddie from her carseat as Meredith removes Michael. They place them in the double stroller and join hands as Derek pushes their children into the hospital, entering the walls of Seattle Grace for the first time as a family.