FIRE & BLOOD • EVAN 'BUCK' BUCKLEY / 9-1-1

33.

I had only made it around the corner before I felt a hand grab my arm.

"Stel"
"No." I spin around and give him a  harsh look. "Did you really come to my job to make me jealous? We haven't even been broken up for that long, Evan."

His hand was still around my arm. I pull away and take a few steps back, crossing my arms across my chest and my jaw clenched. I was doing my best to seem the complete opposite of what I was feeling inside. Waves of emotions.

I am so mad at him. Actually, I'm more mad at myself than him for allowing myself to even feel this way. Torn. Upset. Distracted. Angry. Broken.

But I can't help but love him still. That will never change I fear.

"Stella that's not why I'm here" he says.

"Why are you here then?"

He hesitates before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a small red box. Buck stares at it for a moment before handing it over. I don't take it. My arms remain crossed across my chest.

"What?" I ask him. "I hope you don't think buying me gifts will make everything all better..."

"It's your birthday gift." His response catches me off guard. My arms drop to my side. I haven't even told him about my birthday. How did he even find out?

"Which you didn't even bother to tell me about. Knowing how you are, you probably felt it wasn't a big deal but I do. To celebrate the person I l-" he stops himself and I'm glad he does. I can't do this right now. Doesn't matter how much I want to hear him say those words.

"I wanted to give it to you on your actual birthday." He sighs. "Christopher helped me pick it out, he was super excited about your birthday..."

My heart drops at the mention of his name.
My sweet Chris boy. How I miss him.

"With everything going on, I wasn't sure you would have wanted to see me so.... I came here, hoping you'd accept it. Please." Buck looks up at me, holding the small box out.

My eyes begin to water. My gaze falls to the floor in my best attempt to blink away the tears.

"Actually, I was going to tell you about it because my parents are coming down that week and" I look at him. "Never mind."

"What?" Evan pushes.

"It's nothing. I'm just not big on birthdays but you figured that out."

"I don't know if I can accept this" I point to the box.

"Please do, Stella. I know we might not be together right now but I want you to have this." Evan grabs my hands and places the box in my palm.

"Happy birthday" he whispers, leaning in to kiss me on my cheek. "We may not be together right now but I know we will get through this. However much time you need, I'll wait."

Before I could refuse his gift or say anything back to him, he turns around and disappears around the corner. Leaving me standing there in the hall with this red box in my hand. A part of me wishes he would've let me refuse because then he would still be in front of me. Close to me. Then I would've told him that I was wrong for how I acted. And how much I love him and instead of pushing him away, I should've stuck with him. Not leave when things get hard. It's just not easy having to wait months to know if this baby is even his. It's all hard for me but I should've remembered I'm not the only one in this relationship. At least I can admit my wrongs.

You should've admitted them to him.

"Stella, is everything okay?"

I slowly turn around to look at Victor. He stands there staring at me. I open my mouth, then close it again. I manage to give him a small nod. Given the look on his face, he doesn't seem convinced. I swallow the lump forming in my throat.