FIRE & BLOOD • EVAN 'BUCK' BUCKLEY / 9-1-1

42.

My reflection stares back at me as I add the final touches to my makeup. I apply one more layer of mascara to my lashes, making sure they're as dark and long as I like them to be.

I run my hands over my dress. Gigi picked out my dress, said it was perfect. A short baby blue strapless dress. It hugged my body perfectly, showing off my curves. When I suggested I go for a dress that was more fit for a gender reveal, she told me to shut up and listen to her. Said this dress will do it's job.

She went with a pale pink haltered dress. It sat right above her knees and seemed more appropriate for the occasion. I look as if I'm going to a night club.

"I can't believe we are actually going to this thing" Gigi says from my room, shuffling through a drawer.

I grab all my products off the counter and toss them back into my makeup bag, not even caring to put it in neatly.

"Hey do you have a necklace I can borrow? I forgot to grab one on my way out and ooh! What is this?"

"What is what?" I ask as I walk back into my room. When I see what Gigi is holding in her hands I freeze. She slowly picks up the pear drop peridot necklace and examines it.

"This is so pretty. Can I wear it?" Gigi looks over to me.

The words struggle to leave my mouth.

"What?"
"That's the necklace that uh Evan gave to me for my birthday. I haven't worn it..."
"Oh" Gigi looks to the necklace and back to me. She gently puts the necklace back into the box. "Sorry."

"It's okay"

Gigi stares at me for a moment before looking back to the box.

"Do you think if Buck sees this necklace on you it might help him remember? Like it might trigger something?" She asks.

I shrug not knowing what to say.

"Wear it. Only if it's not too much for you, wear it" She gives me a soft smile. "You never know, maybe it can help bring back a memory for him."

I consider this for a moment. There's a strong possibility this might not work but I won't risk not trying for that small chance of it triggering something. I take in a deep breathe before agreeing.

Gigi takes the necklace out of the box again and walks towards me. I move my curled hair out of the way as she brings the necklace around my neck. I can't help myself when my hand reaches up to the pendant, my fingers touching the stone. The memory  of Buck handing me the gift comes flooding back. I start to remember the sound of his voice when he said he wanted to give it to me on the actual day of my birthday and how upset he sounded when he threw the fact that I hadn't even brought it up to him. I remember the anger I felt seeing him with Savannah the moment before I walked away and how he followed me. How angry I was with myself for letting him walk away without telling him I was sorry.

"There. It looks beautiful on you" Gigi gives me a soft smile.

I turn to face her, my fingers still over the stone. She places her hands on my shoulders.

"You're going to be okay. And if you're not, you have me right there by your side."

I nod my head slowly, exhaling out of my nose. "I'm going to be okay"

"That's my girl."

A knock at the door makes both our heads turn.

"That must be Victor" I say. "Ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be. Let's fuck up this gender reveal" A devious smile plays on Gigi's lip.
"G!!"

"What? I'm kidding" She rolls her eyes and walks towards the door, grabbing both of our purses and handing me mines.

"I'll behave"
"I'm just ready to get this over with" I sigh.

"Wow. You ladies look stunning" Victor says when I open the door, his eyes shooting to Gigi first then to me. They stay on me for a few seconds longer before he slowly steps to the side, allowing us through.

"After you"

"Thank you Russell" Gigi blushes.
"Gigi, you can call me Victor"
"No, thank you"

I gently nudge her in the ribs.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I'm just not used to seeing you outside of work often. It'll take me some time before I can call you just Victor" She explains, earning a hearty laugh from him.

"That's fine, I can understand that."

Before anyone could say another word, something comes over me as I compliment Victor's appearance. I catch Gigi give me a weird look but I ignore it and continue walking.

It's rare to see him in jeans. He wears a button up shirt in a light shade of blue that seems was tailored specifically for him. The arms fit perfectly around his biceps. The first three buttons are undone, showing off a defined chest.

He flashes me a smile. "Thank you."

"Russell!! I didn't know you drive a mustang. Jesus, she's gorgeous" Gigi says as she admires the black mustang next to my audi in my driveway. Victor chuckles as he watches Gigi take a good walk around his car, eyes wide.

"Thank you! She's my baby."

Gigi glances over to me with a wide smile and shining eyes. I roll my eyes at her but can't help but laugh.

"Come on, we're going to be late!" I say, mostly to Gigi who can't stop gawking as if she's never seen a mustang.

"Even better, we can make an entrance" Victor gives me a wink before opening the passenger door.

"Oh don't worry, we will absolutely make an entrance" Gigi climbs into the back seat of the mustang.

I suck in a breathe of air before getting into the passenger seat.

Here we go.

************************************************

BUCK

I am overwhelmed by all the congratulations today. My mind is buzzing. Nothing makes sense. Bits and bits of information have slowly been coming back to me but not fully. I still have no recognition of those who were close to me. Who are close to me but I can't fully remember anything. All I know is what this person has told me. That we're having a baby.

A part of me isn't fully convinced but the other part is telling me to stay. Stay because what if what she is telling me is true?

Everyone around me has been trying to tell me they think she is feeding me lies. But I have no recollection of my life before waking up in that hospital bed which makes all of this difficult because I don't know what to do.

Savannah seems like a sweet person and if this baby is mine, I can't walk away. I will try my best to be who I was before.

But then there's this feeling deep down inside that screams at me. I try to reach back in my mind but something pulls me back. It only happens when I'm around her.

That feeling starts nagging at me when her eyes fall on me. Those round, fierce but yet gentle eyes. When my eyes move to the person next to her, I feel strangely annoyed. I can't figure out why I feel irritated when I look at him. He's been a great help in my recovery but I can't help the feeling I get seeing him near her.

I'm curious about her. It's as if there's something buried deep in the back of my mind. Something important but no matter how hard I try, I can't remember. I want to get to know her but with everything going on, I'm not sure it's a good time. To be honest, I'm not sure about anything. It's frustrating.

I watch her as she walks up to Maddie, hugging her tightly. Maddie seems so fond of her.

Why can't I remember her?