FIRE & BLOOD • EVAN 'BUCK' BUCKLEY / 9-1-1

44.

Evan and I sat in the garden for a while longer, lost in time. It all felt unreal.

He asked more questions about Victor. Asked if he should be worried about him, and I assured him there was nothing to worry about. That Victor is a friend and someone I work alongside with. And how he is caring and yes, he has feelings for me, but I don't return them. Because my feelings are elsewhere. A ghost smile appeared on his face before it faded.

"I really don't know what to do here, Stella. My entire life changed in one day and I have a baby on the way I think?"

My eyebrows furrow above my eyes, giving him a puzzled look. "You think?"

He nods. "I don't feel a connection or anything when she asks me to talk to the baby and feel her stomach. And I've tried to talk to Maddie or Eddie or anybody but she's always around. I don't know how to get a moment and I feel bad if I tell her to leave when she has nowhere else to go..."

I scoot closer to Evan, not believing what I am hearing. He doesn't feel a connection to this pregnancy or to her, which has to mean something.

"What do you mean she has nowhere else to go? I thought she had her own apartment?"

In the beginning of our internship when we all spent all of our time together, Savannah would never once allow us to forget how much money she has. How she doesn't have to worry about any loans because her parents paid for it all and she pays for her own luxury apartment in downtown Los Angeles. It was annoying, hearing her talk about shit nobody cared for. We all got it: Savannah was loaded. Well, her parents giving she is just an intern.

Evan shakes his head. "Something happened and she had to find another place. She didn't really say what, only that she needs time to find a place for her and the baby" he pauses in thought, hesitant as if there's another bit of information he doesn't want to say.

"For her and the baby.."
"She wants me to live with her and the baby."
"And are you considering this?" I try to steady my voice but it comes out shaky. The thought of Evan living with Savannah causes my stomach to knot. I want to ask more about it. But I decide it best not to.

"I don't even know her. Living with a woman I have no attachment to nor feelings. Only the fact that she was there the day of the accident, helping me and she is carrying a baby that is apparently mine and I can't leave because of the guilt I'll feel if I am the father. Maddie says I should get a DNA test done. To see if it's even my child but it's going to be hard."

That isn't a lie at all. Savannah will never make it easy for him to get a test, she'll just keep trying to convince him it's his. But I can't get past the part where she has nowhere to go. And he feels obligated to help. It's the guilt that'll come with walking away that will eat at him and I completely understand it. But at the same time, it is not his responsibility to take care of Savannah.

Not once have I seen Savannah talking to anyone here who could be her parents. Grandparents, yes. But the rest seem to be too young to be her parents. Friends maybe from university, other doctors from the hospital, Evan and his friends and Gigi, Victor and I are the people who are here. But Tyler isn't here. If he were here, I wonder how that would've gone. I'm curious if Savannah even invited him. I mean, why wouldn't she. I know she invited Amanda. I'm sure she would've loved to have them both here. She lives for the drama.

"What are you thinking?" Evan asks me, digging me out of my mind swimming in deep thought. I must've been quiet for some time.

"Honestly? Too much. This whole situation just... I don't know." I fail to explain the reality of everything I feel. How this situation has turned everything around.