FIRE & BLOOD • EVAN 'BUCK' BUCKLEY / 9-1-1

50.

Evan is signing his discharge papers when I go to check in on him. I stay put at the door and just watch him.

All I could think about in this moment is... if I were to ever lose Evan, would I be strong enough to survive that? Because a huge part of me feels that the answer is no. I love him so much that the thought of losing him for real makes my chest ache.

His blue eyes look up from the papers and land on me, still standing by the doorway. His brows furrow.

"What happened?" He asks with a worrisome look.

Instead of answering him, I break out in a fit of tears. He rushes across the room and pulls me tightly into his chest. I wrap my hands around his back as my body shakes.

"I'm here baby. I'm here." He whispers. He pulls back slowly, moving the hair away from my wet face. I blink through the tears and look up at him.

"Please don't die on me" I blurt out. "I've gone through so much and I know that will absolutely break me" my voice is small.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere! I promise you." He brings a hand up to my cheek, wiping away a tear. "What happened?" He asks again.

I squeeze my eyes and shake my head. It doesn't feel real. Any of this. And I hate that any of this is happening. The words that are about to come out of my mouth are words I shouldn't even be saying.

"Tyler didn't make it. He succumbed to his injuries" I breathe out. "He didn't deserve this. He shouldn't have been-" I choke. I think back to our last interaction. If only I knew that would be the last time I ever spoke to Tyler. I wish it hadn't been what it was. But we never know when the last time we speak to someone will be. Life is unpredictable, today being a prime example.

Evan curses under his breathe.

"How could this happen?" I ask, more myself than him.

I bring a hand up to my face and wipe my eyes. "Amanda is a mess right now. Gigi and Mazzey are with her. I feel so terrible. I couldn't find the right words to say to her..." I avert my eyes from Evan. "Despite everything that he had done, Amanda still loved him."

Loved. Not love. Because now he is gone and she never got the chance to fix things with him. I knew it was something she wanted in the future. Her heart is so pure and so big that she saw still saw hope for them. That's the kind of person she is. She's too kind and good for this world. Nothing kills me more than seeing her in pieces.

"Sometimes we fail to find the right words. All we can do for the people we love is just be there for them" Evan says. He takes my hand in his and steps towards the door.

"Come on. I know you want to be by her side."

I nod my head and follow behind him.

Gigi, Mazzey and Amanda are all in the exact spot they were when I left to check on Buck. Mazzey was looking down on Amanda who had her head on her lap, eyes squeezed shut. Pieces of her blonde hair stuck to her cheeks.

Before we could reach the girls, Victor shows up in the waiting room and quickly spots me and Buck. Bucks squeezes my fingers when Victor starts walking towards us. I ignore it.

When Victor is only a couple feet away from us I can see how worn out he is.

"Hey" I say. "How's Savannah?"

He looks over to the girls before answering. "She still doesn't know about Tyler"

"We have to tell her. It's not something we can just keep from her"

"I know." Victor says. He crosses his arm and steadies his gaze on me. "But she barely made it out herself with her baby who's going to be in the NICU for the next 3 months, if she can pull through. You know the chances of survival-"