FIRE & BLOOD • EVAN 'BUCK' BUCKLEY / 9-1-1

30.

"A cosmo, please." I pout my lips at Alex.

"You've had six shots and now you want a cosmo, babe what are you going through?"

"Life has been tough, Alex" I say lazily.No big deal. Just a lightweight drinking her emotions away. Alex gives me a worrisome look. My lips force a smile.

"I'm fine" my voice lacks any trace of strength making it harder to convince him.

"Spill" Alex pours my cocktail into a glass before placing it in front of me. I take a sip, enjoying the taste.

"Mm. Cointreau?" I ask.
"Yes ma'am. Now, spill" Alex glares at me until I cave in.

"Savannah is pregnant and there is a possibility that my boyfriend could be the father" I take another sip of my drink. Waiting for it to hit me any moment now. I'll probably need two cosmos.

"Wait what? Buck slept with Savannah? I thought she was sleeping with Tyler?"

"She was"

"So how did Buck end up being a candidate?"

"Apparently Savannah is positive it's Buck."

"Did you ask him about this?"

"I did. He told me they didn't sleep together."

"I'm lost babe"

"Victor had the pleasure of telling me about Savannah reminiscing on their night together." I shrug. "And I didn't believe any of it until Victor mentioned a box full of photos that only two people have seen that sits on Bucks nightstand, on the right side of his bed. Which means Savannah has been to his place..." I stare off to the bottles behind Alex, replaying last night in my head. How everything was fine last night and now, it all went to shit.

"But that doesn't mean she slept with him. So she went to his place. Maybe she went over but nothing happened" Alex tries to make it better but it doesn't work.

"I doubt that. It was the night of the gala according to Victor. They were very touchy with each other that night now that I think about it... he probably did take her home and slept with her."

"Why would he lie?"

"Because maybe he knew I wouldn't have given him a chance. To be honest, I don't think I would have"

"But Stella... this happened when you two weren't even together... you can't be mad at him for sleeping with whoever before you. That's probably not what you want to hear but think of it this way. What if you had slept with Victor before you and Buck got together. Do you think he wouldn't have given you a chance just because you slept with someone? While you were single?"

My cosmo is gone. I inhaled it while Alex made his points. But still, it's not the same.

"I wouldn't have got pregnant with Victor. And I would've told Evan the truth, not hide it from him and also... what if it is his baby? Then what? I want to be with Evan but I just don't know how I feel watching the person I love become a father to his first child with a person who I do not get along with. And I don't want that for him, where his babymomma and girlfriend don't get along. I can't do it" I cover my face with my hands.

"That's you being selfish, Stella." Ouch.
"You don't leave someone you love because it gets a little bumpy. You'd be there for Evan and support him. Yes, he lied and give him hell for that but are you wanting to lose him because of something he did before you two got together?"

Why is everything hard for me. I shake my head not knowing what to think or say. I understand what Alex is trying to say but at the same time it isn't easy. I don't know how to feel if this is his baby. Maybe I am being selfish but I can't help but feel hurt. Things would've been different if he had just been open with me. But he wasn't and that is what upsets me.