Finding fireworks || Sirius Black

29

"Is that your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?"

Sirius' POV

I felt like I could take on the whole world and win as Jocelyn and I walked away from the common room. She had kissed me. She had kissed me in front of the entire school. Twice.

"Let's go to the lake," she said.

"The lake? You're not going to feed me to the giant squid, are you?" I joked.

"Hmm..." she pretended to think about it before beaming at me. "I want to go where I first saw you transform. It seems fitting."

"I thought you liked the Room of Requirements?" I didn't particularly care and had already started walking towards the Entrance Hall, but I was curious.

"I do. But I used to spend a lot of time with James in there," she shrugged.

"Ah"

We walked in comfortable silence for a while. Jocelyn was probably the only person in the world besides James that made me feel this at ease. Any other girl would make this walk awkward, but not her. Any other girl would have made a big deal over the changing room episode, but not her. Any other girl would have made a huge drama out of my idiotic stunt when she'd stumbled drunk in the common room, but not Jocelyn.

Jocelyn was everything I never knew I wanted in a girl, and if I didn't mess this up, I had a good shot at being with her for real. I half expected the idea of it to make me nervous, or scared. I had rebelled against the prospect of committing to a relationship for so long that I wasn't even sure I could do it. What if I messed it up completely? But as I watched her walk calmly next to me, guiding me to the spot where she had learned our biggest secret, I knew that it was exactly what I wanted.

She plopped herself on the grass unceremoniously and motioned for me to join her. I sat with my back to the nearest tree and she shuffled closer to me. It was then I noticed Jo was nervous. I marveled at the fact that I could make our fierce Jocelyn nervous for a moment, basking in the giddy feeling of it.

"So, what made you change your mind?" I asked her eventually.

"What?"

"I'm not an idiot, you know. You have been blocking all my moves for over a month," I told her.

"Maybe your moves aren't as good as you think they are," she teased.

"Ouch," I put a hand to my heart dramatically. She laughed.

"I don't know what made me change my mind," she said after a little while.

"But it has? Or did you just get caught up in the moment?" I was afraid this would turn into another 'changing room' thing and she'd pretend it never happened, no matter how absurd that was with close to 300 people as witnesses.

"I'm worried you're going to hurt me," she said softly.

"Everyone is afraid of that, Jo."

"Are you?"

"I am freaking terrified. I've never felt this way before, about anyone. I never even cared before," I said. "With all the other girls it was just... something to do. Sure, they were pretty, and it was fun, but it didn't matter who it was. Not until I realized I wanted it to be you every time.

I have been afraid for ages because of the things I felt every time you were around. And for the longest time, I didn't know what to do with it or what it meant."