Rose Colored Glasses

Chapter 44

*IMITHANDAZO*

I open my eyes checking the surroundings around me trying to recall how did I end up here. I am in a hospital, my hand is cuffed to my bed. I sigh rubbing my face.

The door opens and Malibongwe walks in. I feel guilty remembering the last time we talked things was not pleasant. He looks at me and page his file

"How are you feeling today?" He asks and I shrug my shoulder

" I don't know,how did I end up here?" I ask

" You don't remember?" I do some parts are blurry though. I shake my head no

"You broke down during your trial yesterday and they were forced to send you here"he tells me and I remember seeing Ayanda and everything just became too much. I was angry, swearing at doing all that. But what hurt me the most was attending a court case a day before my husband burial.

Today he's being laid to rest and I am here,facing these walls and all alone. Musa,why didn't you leave me alone since I wasn't good enough for you?

My son is probably confused as fuck wherever he is. I think about him everyday, has he eaten, taking a bath? Is he warm? I miss him so much

"Hey, don't cry. You will be fine,"  Mal says after some time

" You are a good friend and husband Mal. I'm sorry for the ambush the other day...' he close his file and check the cuff on my hand if it's not too tight

" Get some rest, Imithandazo I want you to take this chance and opportunity to think to yourself about what is it that you want. Think of your son and future. If you want him to be a better man than Musa then you need to stop this victim behavior.

Grieve and allow healing. Him and his sister needs you. Nosi might be a legitimate child but at some point you mothered that child. She's yours. The reading of the will have been paused until you fully recover

Your doctor will see you later" he walks out and tears stream down my face heavily like a rainfall

.

.

*ATHULE*

I knock on her door and I don’t get a response. She was admitted here yesterday under heavy police custody and she hasn’t come out of her room since. I have been trying to gather the courage to speak to her hoping that maybe today I bump into her in the cafeteria or something but to no luck. I knock again once before letting myself in. she stares at me helplessly and hopeless, she looks tired, drained even. Who could blame her though? Her life has taken another turn and it's sad that the reason for her being the way is right now is dead.

I acknowledge the part I played in turning her into this monster but her husband, had he been a better husband she wouldn’t have turned out like this, had she left at the first sign of a red flag then her life wouldn’t have taken this kind of sharp curve.

I walk closer to her and stop at a reasonable distance not knowing if it's even safe to go any closer in case she hates me or incase I send her over the hill. Being behind these four walls usually means that life didn’t go as you had hoped it would and we are pretty much examples of that.

“If there’s one thing I have learnt whilst working with everyone here as a nurse and when I became one of these patients it's that our choices land us up in here, how we react to situations could possibly lead us into here one day.” I start off and she looks up at me, her eyes look like she’s been crying. They are all puffy and I hate myself even more for what I did to her, to her marriage.

I continue “For instance, if I hadn’t acted impulsively when I saw a woman on Thabo’s lap then things would have went differently. If I had maybe listened before acting then I wouldn’t be here today. Growing up, I was always strong willed, determined, told myself no man would ever play me and I was fortunate for a while because no man ever played me. I didn’t mess with guys and guys didn’t mess with me and my life was peaceful like that. I had a couple of freelance jobs here and there for that regular shagging here and there but that was just all there was to it, sex with no strings and the minute strings attached, I bounced. Until Thabo.