trusting unknowns

chapter eight

Riley's POV

       I sat on the table in the exam room as the boys talked about medical stuff, I didn't understand and zoned out a while ago. The only thing I could think of was about her letter.

" Riley are you alright?" Luke asked looking at me nervously 

" Yeah" I fake smiled back

The question got to me and before I knew it I was wiping a tear off my face. I didn't want to show them I was hurting, I didn't want to feel weak. I don't think they knew how to react, they didn't say anything either. I felt the lump in my throat as I held back my cries.

" Sorry"

" Riley you have been through a lot, everything you are feeling is completely normal and you shouldn't keep anything in " Luke explained

I just nodded back looking at my hands. 

" Come on let's bring you home it's been a long day," Ashton said leading us out of the room.

I followed them outside to the parking lot as they headed for a white tesla. I sat in the back with Luke and Calum I felt the weight of the day making me tired in the dark car. I leaned my head against the window and watched the cars go by as I drifted off into thought. The car pulled into a driveway and stopped. 

" Welcome home" he lightly smiled 

They opened the door showing me around the large house, I was impressed by their sense of decoration they had pictures of family on the walls that immediately caught my attention. They showed me the guest room which would now be mine, it was plain white with a queen bed vanity and a small bathroom off it. Which let me have a lot of space to make it my own. After putting my bag down I followed them back into the kitchen and sat on one of the stools with Calum. 

" Would you like some dinner?" Micheal asked me, filling up bowls with pasta.

"No thank you," I said not hungry at the moment

They all exchanged glances before Ashton spoke 

" Riley I know you have had a long day but I think you should eat something. " 

They all looked at each other not knowing what to say so I switched the topic, I didn't want all their attention on me. 

" How did you all meet?" I asked playing with the pasta on my fork 

" Med-school, we all got assigned to the same attending " Micheal answered

"Yup been stuck with these losers since hopefully, your not as crazy as them" Calum joked

" Haha you know you love me" Ashton

I watched them bicker before Luke stepped in

" Now, that we have established that Riley is probably the most mature one here we should all get some rest"

He grabbed my bowl and placed it in the sink before leading me towards my room. He grabbed clothes from his closet and handed them to me

" We can go back and get your stuff tomorrow wear this for now."

" Thanks" I smiled

" Goodnight Riley" he smiled

" Night"

I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth with the extra toothbrush I found under the sink. I made my way into bed getting comfortable as I laid down.

4 hours later

I shifted in bed unable to get any kind of sleep don't get me wrong I was tired but I just couldn't sleep. I walked from my bedroom to the kitchen, grabbing a glass, and filling it with water as I sat on the nearby stool. I walked back to my room after I finished my water, the sun was just beginning to rise.

" There goes another sleepless night"  I managed to open the window and sit from the roof on the second floor it was a beautiful view and the soft breeze made everything feel comforting.

 I felt like I didn't know what to do next like my life was messy and all I wanted to do was make it neat but I didn't know how to start, who to trust, and mostly how to live as I had before. I let tears roll down my face watching the sunrise as it hit me she was truly gone, I would never see her again in this life. Nothing would ever be the same and I didn't know how to accept that fact.