trusting unknowns

chapter nine

Riley's POV

I sat on the roof next to the window just thinking, it's almost been 24 hours since she died and I have no idea what is going to happen. Luke and the guys have been nice but, I felt like they were only doing it because they felt like they had too not because they wanted to. My thoughts were cut off by Ashton calling my name

" Riley Breakfast!"

I climbed back through the open window and shut it quietly. I walked into the kitchen as Ashton was cooking some eggs, Micheal and Luke sat at the table talking.

" Good morning" he smiled as I walked into the kitchen

" Morning," I said dragging my feet

I sat down next to Micheal as Ashton put a plate in front of me. I ate the toast and half of the eggs before I got full and put my plate into the sink.

" Get ready Riles, we have to go get your stuff," Luke said

My stuff, at my house. I would have to say a final goodbye to my childhood house, and the center of most of my memories with my mom. I nodded and slowly went back into my room so I could brush my teeth and do my hair for the day. Once I was ready I met Luke back outside by the car

" You have to give me your address, so I can put it in the GPS"

" it's not far I can just tell you where to go" I proposed

" Okay" he smiled

We sat in the car silently for the most part, after a while I had a few questions I wanted to ask him.

" How did you meet my mom"

He smiled at the question " We both went to UCLA, I went for pre-med your mother for biochemistry. We had the same lab class and about halfway through the year our professor assigned us partners for a thesis project. We had to work on that paper for like 2 months before we finally finished. All the hanging out made us realize our feelings I guess, and I asked her to be my girlfriend. We dated for almost 3 years she even shared an apartment with the guys and me. I loved her, even talked about getting married someday. One day I woke up and she was gone just up and left I never knew why but I know now. I wished she would have just told me, I would have supported her and you. Riley If I could go back I would, I would stop her from leaving be a part of your lives."

" I don't know who to believe," I said honestly

" That's okay, I just hope we can try to get to know each other well enough so you eventually do. I would really like to sign those papers Riles." 

I stayed silent after that, I knew he probably meant well but I couldn't risk it just yet. He looked hurt by my statement or many remembering old memories. We pulled into the driveway of my house.

" This is it," I said un-doing my seat belt and opening the door

I opened the front door seeing the house exactly as we had left it, blankets on the couch but I stopped in the kitchen there it was the water glass spilled onto the floor, the night we left. The glass still in a million pieces on the ground. I stayed frozen

" Do you want to wait in the car? I can bring your stuff out"

A few seconds went by before I replied

" No, I'm okay"

I walked into my room and started putting some clothes in my bag. I fit most of my stuff into bags with the help of luke. I decided that I would donate some of my mom's clothes and the house furniture to charity. I couldn't save them all and I definitely did not need the house furniture. I saved a few special things like a sweatshirt that smelled like her and the necklace she promised to give me in the future, she had always told me the story of her grandmother giving it to her as a child. She made her promise to give to her child one day, and my mom had me make the same promise.

 As Luke packed the car I went back inside to get the old home phone, I wanted to unplug it so people would not be waiting for us to answer their voice messages. I dropped it onto the floor trying to get the cable unplugged causing the voice mail response to play

The sound of a laughing me and mom played through the speaker " Hi! You have reached Riley and Michelle please leave a message at the beep! Bye!" My voice was younger as well as my mom's since we recorded it many years ago. The sound of the message was the only thing it took to send me into hysterical tears. I leaned onto the wall and slowly let my back fall leaving me hugging my knees to my chest as the phone feedback went through the speaker.

" Riley?......Riley?" Luke called in the door looking for me but he stopped when he saw me

" What's wrong?" he asked bending down to me

" I can't do this Luke...I don't know what to do, I mean what- how am I supposed to just act like I'm fine, like everything is okay, that my mom didn't just die from cancer and I'm living with my dad who I haven't even known for 48 hours. I don't even know what happened if you left, didn't leave I don't know what to believe! I'm so overwhelmed at the moment I don't even know what normal is-" he cut me off bringing me into his chest

But I quickly pulled away from him 

"Breath Riles, just take deep breaths"

I followed what he said breathing, and I eventually calmed myself down to just hiccups.

" What caused your anxiety?" he asked 

I didn't respond just played the voice message for him, even he seemed emotional from it. 

" I'm sorry" I chocked out 

" Don't be, how about this I'll work on being a better dad, and you try not to hide your emotions from me okay?"

" Deal" I smiled