ᵗʰʳᵉᵉ 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃 ⁿᵉʷᵗᵐᵃˢ (ᶜᵒᵐᵖˡᵉᵗᵉᵈ)

Puzzle With A Missing Piece

A/N: SORRY MY WRITERS BLOCK AUGH! Also, I apologize in advance. 

NEWT POV

I lean against a rock, a few yards away from everyone else. The voice said to get out. And Thomas...no. I shake my head. I can't think about him. Or I'll start to cry. And there's no time for crying.

I look at the others. Thomas laughs at something Olivia said. I physically wince at what that does to me. He doesn't even care about me anymore. Doesn't care about what I said. I turn away. I can't watch them anymore. 

Soon, we start walking again to wherever Olivia is leading us. I don't talk to anyone, staying a good 10 feet behind everyone else. I watch Thomas talk to the others. It feels like someone stabbed me in the heart. Then, Sonya walks over to me.

"Newt, are you okay?" She asks gently. 

"I'm fine." I spit bitterly. 

She jumps back slightly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..." She shakes her head. 

"S'alright." I mutter. "My fault. Everything's my fault." 

"You're talking about Thomas." Sonya observes. "I'm sure he'll get over it."

"But I won't, Son." I say. "I don't know if I can. I don't know if he could ever forgive me anyway. I think we're done."

"He knows you didn't mean it, Newt." Sonya says gently. "You were just mad." She pauses. "You didn't mean it, right?"

"Of course I didn't mean it!" I cry. "But he won't believe me. He won't take me back. And I don't deserve it. I don't deserve him anymore. Or maybe I never did." 

Sonya reaches over and squeezes my hand. "Newt, he'll forgive you. Just give him time." 

I sigh. "No, Sonya, he won't." 

I move away from her and she doesn't come after me. 

I just want to lay in the sand and give up. Die of thirst and starvation. Maybe I should. Maybe giving up is the best way out of this. They'd all be better off without me anyway. I look at Thomas and my heart breaks. 

Soon, we have to stop for the night. I lean against a rock, hot, silent, tears falling down my cheeks. I can't stop them. Then, someone walks over to me. Thomas.

"Newt, we need to talk." He says, sitting in front of me. 

I look at him. "Why? Why do you want to talk to me? I was awful."

"Yes." Thomas says. "But I was unfair to you."

"No. I was just being an idiot. I don't hate you, Tommy, I couldn't." I say. "I love you so much."

Thomas looks at me. "Newt, I love you too. But-"

"No." I say. "No, just stop there. I don't know if I can take what comes next." 

Thomas sighs. "Newt, just listen to me. I...I love you too. I love you so much it hurts." More tears fall out of my eyes. "But that's the thing. It hurts. It hurts to love you. Every time you get hurt or hurt me," I wince. "A little piece of me breaks away. I don't know how many more I can lose. I think it's best we spend some time apart."

"No." I say. "No, I can't lose you. I can't. Please, Tommy, please. Please don't do this."

Thomas looks at me and I can almost see his heart break. "I'm sorry." He says and he gets up and walks away. 

I don't move. I don't breathe. I don't think. I can't. I can't do anything. I feel numb. It doesn't even matter anymore. Nothing does. Not without him. He was the thing that kept me living. I close my eyes. The world swims around me. I think this is what dying feels like. 

The next morning, I'm woken by Olivia. 

"Newt," She hisses. "Newt, get up. We need to talk."

I open my eyes and she pushes me so I sit up. 

"What happened?" She asks me gently. 

I let out a sob. I can't help it. Nothing matters anymore anyway. Olivia hugs me. 

"It's alright," She says. "I'll make sure you two get back together."

"No, Livs." I sob. "He doesn't want me anymore." 

Olivia pulls away and I fall against a rock. "Yes he does. He's just being an idiot. Love hurts. He just doesn't realize that. He'll get over himself."

I shake my head. "No, Olivia, no he won't." Maybe I'll just lay here forever...

Olivia sighs. "Let me talk to him." And she walks away. 

I draw my knees up to my chest and bury my face in my arm. I give up. I'll just stay here. Then, Olivia taps my arm.

"Newt, time to go." She says softly.

"No." I say quietly. "No. Go without me." 

"Newt, come on." She says. "Please come on. I don't want to have to force you."

"I don't matter." I mutter. "Just leave me here."

"No." Olivia says. "Absolutely not. You are coming."

"I can't." I say, tears falling off of my face. "I can't do it."

"Yes, you can." She says. "Thomas doesn't matter. Ignore the stupid asshole."

I laugh slightly. 

"See? There you go." She says. "Come on. Get up." 

I pull my head out of my arms but don't move. 

"Newt, please, for me?" She asks. 

My limbs feel like they're made of lead. My head hurts. Everything hurts.

"No." I say. "Just leave me here. I'll be better off dead."

Olivia slaps me. I gasp in pain.

"Olivia!" I cry. "That hurt!"

"You deserve it." She says. "You would not be better off dead. Get your ass up or I'll hit you again." 

I stand but my legs won't support my weight. I nearly fall over but I lean against the rock. 

"Olivia, I can't." I say. 

"I'll help you, come on." She says. She slides an arm around my waist and I reluctantly let her. 

"I don't want to, Livs." I say quietly, almost a whisper. 

"I know." She says. "But you have to show him. Even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying." 

I look at her. "Where did that come from?"

She shrugs. "Maybe I'm secretly Gandhi."

A/N: DON'T KILL ME PLEASE!! I HAVE A PLAN!! TRUST ME!! ALSO, SORRY FOR ALL THE GREY'S ANATOMY REFERENCES!! I HAD TO I'M SORRY!! LOVE Y'ALL!!