What Probably Made Maxerica Scream ~Cliché Selection Storylines~

5

~When it's in Maxon's P.O.V, he's always describing America. For instance:

Hair descriptions: I ran my fingers through her fiery, red, inferno, wild, blood, sun kissed, rosy, cherry, copper, burgundy, fuchsia, maroon, rose, salmon, scarlet, luscious, ruby, chestnut, rust colored hair.

Eye descriptions: I gazed at her sky blue, turquoise, gentle, ultramarine, azure, beryl, icy, cold, sapphire, teal, blue-gray, raindrop, cobalt, royal, cerulean, indigo, fifth-color-of-the-rainbow, cyan, aquamarine colored eyes.

Geez, I didn't know Maxon was THAT observant... Again with the therapist thing...

~"Come here," Maxon ordered in a husky tone
bark bark

~List of all the stupid nicknames people give America:
Mer
Ames
Amy
Eri
Erica
Amers
Perfectflawlessgirlwhowontheselectionandprincemaxon
Yes... Just shorter versions of America...? Also, I don't remember Maxon calling her anything but America. Either that or I only read 1/10000000000 of the book.

~His lips tasted like salt against mine... Ew.

~The never ending quotes, shown in the paragraph below...
"This wasn't happily ever after... It's so much more," I say.
"You look gorgeous." Maxon said.
"One can't help being born into perfection." I reply.
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I don't need a recap of the one, the elite, and the selection. I ain't that forgetful... I think...?

~The rebels are either nonexistent or are mentioned every other sentence.

~She's always telling people to call her America. But everyone disobeys her and still addresses her as "your majesty" or something

~"Mary can u plzzz give me a pair of jeans?" I asked.
"K" Mary said.
"Thx" I answered. I went down to breakfast after that.
"Hi." Maxon said.
"Hi." I said. We ate strawberry tarts.
"I need to go 2 werk." Maxon said.
"Kk. Ttyl. I'll miss u. ilysm" I said.
"ily2" he said. I left-
STOP. GO TO THE CORNER. YOU NEED A TIME-OUT.

~"Her eyes burned into the fiery depths of my soul."
Um... Are you satan or something Maxon?

~Celia and Sophia are practically the only names known to mankind for the main character.

~"Our tongues danced passionately," Oh really? Presenting... **drumroll please** Maxon's tongue and America's tongue performing the Shostakovich Waltz No. 2.

~So in most selection fanfics, people give credit to Kiera Cass, which is good. But they aaaaaaaaallwayyyyyyysssssssss spell it keira cass (or something)

~Random/Accidental capitalization:
I walKed intO her rooM.
"heLlo yOUr maJESTY. we Wern't expeCtIng yOU."
"helLO aNN. can i sEE aMERICA?"
"of coursE" annE Sa-
**cries**

~In some stories, some people just need to back off on the slang words. I mean seriously... Look at this:
"OMG, Maxon is totes my bae," Kriss said.
"Um, hell no, gurl, back off" I said.
"SLAY GIRL SLAYYY" Celeste said.

Ummmmm... Idk if anyone talks like that.. Except on the Internet...

~Maxon whispers in her ear ALL THE TIME.
**wakes up** whispers in her ear
**eats breakfast** whispers in her ear
**frickle frackle** whispers in her ear
**kills the whole royal family** whispers in her ear

~America always does the craziest things! What is this, America's got talent?

~Celia here, always, and I mean always does the frick frack with the prince before the selection ends. Always.

~POV changes every sentence to few paragraphs;

CELIA POV: As I walked into the dining room late, I saw everyone was waiting for me. Great. I'm really hungry.

PRINCE DYLAN POV: When Celia walked in, I winked at her. She was as beautiful as the chandelier dangling above us.

SCARLET POV: OMG! I just saw Prince Dylan wink at Celia. Why does she have to be so stuck up and try to steal the prince from all of us? That's so rude! I'm going to steal Prince Dylan from her no matter what!

CELIA POV: As I sat down at the table,-

NO. STOP. RIGHT. NOW.

~At the end of every single frickin chapter, the main character falls asleep... Is Maxon or whatever prince they're fighting for walking anesthesia?!

~Aspen and Lucy either disappear, or are only mentioned in the first or second chapter.

Chapter 1
"Your majesties," Lucy said, "we're moving out." Aspen nodded beside her.
"Aw," I said, "we're going to miss you!"
"We'll see you tomorrow for the Christmas ball... Right?" Maxon asked.
"Of course!" Lucy said, "we wouldn't miss it for the world."

Chapter 2
**FAST FORWARD TO THE CHRISTMAS BALL**
I looked at the crowd, I only saw a few people I know who were invited by me. Mom, May, Gerad, Kenna, James, Nicoletta, Kriss, and Elise.

WAIT... WHERE'S ASPEN AND LUCY?

~Too many time skips\ way too fast. Also short chapters like one sentence long.

Chapter 1
"omg the letter is here" Celia said. She filled it out in hope of getting in.
*she got in and time skip to when she's in the castle*

Chapter 2
"Yay omg so excited! I'm here!" Suddenly someone bumped into me and I looked back and he smiled. Then WE KISSED! IT WAS THE PRINCE OMFG!
*time skip to two days later in the women's room.*

*continues until chapter six*

Chapter 6

"Celia... I love you" Prince Dylan said. He knelt down and pulled out a ring when a scoffing scarlet turned away and ran out the door.

"Yes!" Celia cried and took the ring.

Epilogue

Celia and Prince Dylan lived happily ever after.

~**chapter is two pages**

Chapter 18
Page 1:
A/N: OMG GUYS I'm sooooooo sorry I haven't updated in like, forever, so I put together a SUPER LONG CHAPTER for you all! It took a LOT of time, but I was on vacation in the Bahamas and then flew to Siberia and didn't have any wifi, then came back to Cali but I had jet lag for like, 6 whole months because you know, I was in the Bahamas and then had to adjust to the time zones there, and then flew to Siberia and had to change to the time zones there, so it was all crazy and then I came back to California and went shopping with my besties and then went to In-And-Out Burger, and then went to Siberia again because I forgot my pink nail polish my bae got me for my birthday in the hotel room so Daddy called the hotel and said he would sue them if they didn't keep my pink nail polish, so yeah! I made this super long chapter as a sorry to y'all for not updating for 32 months. Hope you enjoy xoxo

Page 2:
I kissed the prince. Scarlet came in and slapped me.