What Probably Made Maxerica Scream ~Cliché Selection Storylines~

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A/N: OMG WE'RE AT 200! We looooooooove you guys! Ahhh this book is so fun to write, and we have written a lot in the past 3 days since we started (7 chapters!) And we literally started 3 days ago and we have 200 reads and is the 9th book under the tag "Maxerica" brb crying and screaming... omg thanks so much! <3
~Bebe (@missunicornlandia) and Shyanne (@Tribute_Unicorn)

~ THESE POTATOES OF DESCRIPTIONS OF PEOPLES ! I LITERALLY SAW THIS AS THE DESCRIPTION FOR A SELECTION FANFIC!

Hi I'm Celia. I live in Illea.
I'm a 3. No I'm not snobby my mom was a six and dad loves her very much so I'm not snobby. he's a 3 and Prince Jamie is going to be king since Maxon died. I'm 17 years old and Jamie is 17 years old too. I don't want to enter the selection but some how I ended up here.

I'm not lying. This was an actual description I found, seriously.

*deep sigh* *facepalm*

Okay so first of all you never start out something with "My name is-" ever. Ever. It's annoying and sounds childish.

Second of all, grammar. You never say something like "I'm 17 years old and Prince Jamie is too." You say "Both Prince Jamie and I were 17."

Third of all, capitalizations and punctuation people. "He is a three and Prince Jamie is going to be king since Maxon died." Should be, "He is a three. Prince Jamie is going to be king due to the unfortunate death of King Maxon."

Fourth of all, GET YO FACTS STRAIGHT! SO APPARENTLY THIS PRINCE IS SO CALLED MAXONS SON, AND THIS GIRL IS A THREE, BUT THEY DISSOLVED THE CASTES, AND THEY HAD THE DAUGHTER FIRST REMEMBER?! GOSH. #Notrealselectionfan #probsonlyevenreadthefirstbook

And lastly, DO NOT, AND DO NOT EVER MAKE IT THIS. THIS IS CHILDISH RUBBISH. If I was the author of this story, the description would be a little something like this;

"After the unfortunate bombing of all the royal family, they called in a new man to serve as the new Prince, King Maxon's personal assistant.

Now that King Maxon's assistant, Jamie, turned 17, he was going to hold a selection to gain back strength of Illea.

Celia is a three. She doesn't want to be selected. But under circumstances she finds herself her at Illeas castle..."

Okay now I tried to make this the best I could since this a PERFECT example of a SUPER SUPER SUPER Cliché story. Do not make a description like that.

~The same pictures used for covers. Over. And. Over. And. Over. Again. Please know that I will probably not read your book if it's like that. Sorry. But I'm sure you have creativity somewhere in that brain of yours!

~Here is a chapter from a random Maxerica fanfic. (That doesn't exist) Rate it 1-10:
Chapter 1:
I walkd down the aisle and saw Maxon. "Hi" he wispered wen he saw me. I think he cud see the worry in my eyez. Hiz eyez told mE I lOokd gorjus. I listend to th preest blabber and then he sed "U may kiss the brid" Maxon leaned down and kissed me. His lips tasted like salt. It was a sweet little peck.
END OF CHAPTER 1

Well... I'm not trying to toot my horn or anything, but this is how I would rewrite it... And it would only be a section of a chapter:
Chapter 1:
I walked down the aisle, my arm loosely strung through Maxon's arm. I kept my head low, flustered from all the attention, but I should get used to this, I was going to be queen anyway. Alright, I thought to myself, first the vows to Maxon, then the vows to Illea. Rings, then crowns. I had memorized the whole ceremony, I had even calculated the exact pace to walk at, in hopes of not messing up. I came to a calculated stop, looking up at Maxon in his suit with all the medallions. I silently laughed to myself, the last time he wore that was at the photoshoot, I vaguely remembered mentioning that I should hang him up with the chandeliers. We had foe through so much to get here, and I'm so glad we did. Aspen set my hand into Maxon's, and they shared a moment of respect.
The priest gave a beautiful speech about love, and standing by each other, and at last, he asked us what we were waiting for, "America Singer, do you take Maxon Schreave as your beloved husband, to stick with him through thick and thin until you die?"
"I do," I said with confidence. The priest turned to Maxon.
"Maxon Schreave, do you take America Singer as your beloved wife, to stick with her through thick and thin, until you die?"
"I do." Maxon vowed.
"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Sigh, isn't that much better?

~Guess what hair color the main character has 99.9% of the time?! RED, OR BROWN YAYYYY!!!!! ALWAYS!!!

~ They never have a pet.

~Another annoying description tactic:

This is not your typical selection Fanfiction!
<3

America and Maxon's pov!
<3

The selection isn't over yet.
There are four left.
Who will win the princes heart?
Who will die?
Who will live?
Who will be the queen?
Who will go on the royal honeymoon?
Read on to find out!

Um. Okay. Are you Pandora or something? Would you like free shipping with that box that will answer these questions? Or....

Who will actually not write a Fanfiction description like this?
Who will actually not be annoying like this for once?
Will everyone die?
Will everything explode?
Will humanity die??????
Read on to find out!

~Bouncing off of the one above, here's the first sentence, copied EXACTLY how it was in the book:
"Lucy how many times do I have to tell you to sow on the seleves?!?" Mary yelled.

**criesssss**