Focus On Me | Yeongyu ✓

03 | feelings

taehyun's pov ~
i think i like beomgyu.

but i don't want to because i don't wanna break yeonjun's heart. but i can't stop these feelings, no matter how hard i try.

it's killing me.

so i've decided to ignore him. and i have been for a week.

i really don't wanna be that bad friend, even if it's yeonjun. i don't wanna fail anybody. and don't get me wrong, i genuinely do want yeonjun and beomgyu to be together.

but my heart is telling me otherwise.

so i'll hide my feelings and lock them inside me.

i'll do whatever i can to make sure they end up together in the end.

i fucking hate myself. why couldn't i have fallen in love with someone else? it just had to be beomgyu?!

i know for a fact that love is strong. feelings are strong enough to break someone. that's why i'm scared. i'm terrified because i don't want this to happen.

but huening kai is someone else. he's not beomgyu. i think i'll like him instead.

beomgyu's pov ~
ever since we had that sleepover, taehyun has been ignoring me for this whole entire week.

he's mad at me, isn't he. is it because i joked around and said that i hated him? but i told him it was just a joke!

taehyun usually never gets this upset, i don't know why he's acting this way. i have tried everything. i've even said sorry to him, even though i don't know what i did wrong.

but he just walked away, like he's been doing this whole week.

i want him back.

i really want my best friend back.

he's helped me through so much and i've never even said thank you, ever. i want him to know how much he means to me, but i'm just bad at that. i'm terrible at expressing my feelings and thoughts. and he knows that too.

but when i have seen tae, he's been smiling and laughing a lot...with huening kai.

huening kai is a great person and he's really nice but i feel like taehyun is replacing me with him. they weren't that close, and now they're super close.

i hate it.

it's like i've been becoming closer with yeonjun, but loosing taehyun at the same time.

i need to stop hanging out with yeonjun. he's making me push taehyun away.

speak of the devil. taehyun stood right in front of me. and we stared at each other.

it was only us two in the halls and it was quiet. tae tried to leave but i held him in my arms.

"don't leave...i've been waiting for a moment with just us. why have you been ignoring me?" i asked. he looked everywhere but my eyes. it's like he couldn't make eye contact, no matter how hard he tried.

"i haven't."

"yes you have."

"i can't tell you."

"tell me."

"i said i ca—"

"taehyun! i'm sick and tired of this, just tell m—"

"no! i can't because i don't want to like you!" there was a long moment of silence. it had felt like hours passed of us just being awkward.

"w-what do you mean," i demanded. he looked very guilty.

"beomgyu, i-i lik—"

but the bell cut him off. we stood there staring at each other while everyone left the classrooms and started roaming through the halls.

his face turned red with embarrassment. he then quickly ran off, covering his tiny face.

i sighed as i walked the other way.

the least thing i could do is to ignore yeonjun in order to get taehyun back.

my best friend that i've known since i was a kid is more important than some guy i've met two weeks ago.

i need to figure this out. i really need to figure out why taehyun is mad at me.

i miss him so much, it hurts.