Focus On Me | Yeongyu ✓

18 | ashamed

taehyun's pov ~
soobin and i were sitting on the couch together. we both looked at the ground in sorrow, but i knew that my sadness couldn't be compared to his. after all, he was closer to aeri than i was.

i can always tell when soobin misses someone a lot. even though he didn't know aeri that well, he definitely really misses her already. soobin is a very nice person and he's the type of person who likes everybody, no matter what they have done.

when he forms relationships, they mean a lot to him and aeri clearly meant a lot to him in just that short amount of time. which shows that he's able to trust people very fast. many people might think that's bad, but i actually think it's really cool.

i thought about soobin and aeri for a second, then continued to speak.

"so...you never told me what happened."

"what do you mean?"

"why did you need to stay at my house? i mean, i didn't mind at all but you just never told me so i kinda got concerned."

"well, i finally yelled at my parents for what they did. i told them that i'd never come back and then left. and the truth is, i don't want to go back...i'm...i'm really scared to...because before i left i told them i was uh...gay," he mumbled.

"it kinda sounds like you're ashamed," i moved my body to face him. "there's nothing to be ashamed of."

"i know. aeri told me the same thing...but...i just don't know how to feel anymore. i still don't know if i'm gay or if i like girls."

"and that's alright too. you don't have to put a label, just date and fuck whoever the hell you want. whatever you choose or don't choose, just know that i will always love you for you. and so will everyone else. if your parents can't see that, then they can go sit in a bucket." he laughed a bit but then his smile disappeared again.

"...thank you," he quietly said as a slight blush appeared on his face. i looked back at the ground, blushing with him.

"...you don't have to thank me...idiot. you deserve to be told that...nobody has ever understood you for your whole entire life."

"stop...you're gonna make me cry," his voice faded as he swallowed harshly. his eyes were glistening. "well...this is awkward."

"shut up. just take a moment to let your feelings out."

i was very surprised because soobin rarely ever cries, like me. in fact, i've never seen him cry. but this bastard looks good doing anything so he obviously will look good while crying as well.

he wasn't really crying, his eyes were just watery. but i kind of wish he was.

because that's what makes people closer.

yeonjun's pov ~
beomgyu giggled excitedly as he quickly unbuttoned my shirt.

"shhhh. one of them might hear us."

"haha, don't worry. we won't do much talking anyway," he whispered and winked at me.

"since when did you become such a flirt?"

"you'll figure that out right now."

our bodies were touching as we continued to kiss.

but then i quickly woke up and realized that it was just a dream. it was hot as hell and i felt sweat drip down my face.

"what the fuck was that shit..." i sat for a moment and thought about the dream for a second. i felt my heart beat like crazy. "i swear i'm going crazy or something...i miss him way too much..."

i haven't seen beomgyu in a couple of days now because he's been busy helping huening kai study. taehyun was huening kai's original study buddy but kai doesn't want it to be awkward.

the last time taehyun and huening kai "studied" together, they obviously got hella distracted.

he definitely does not want that to happen again.

i went to the shower and i hopped in right away. the water was warm. i closed my eyes and wanted to go to sleep from how nice it was. 

and then i heard the fucking doorbell ring.

"shit! i swear to fucking god, why is it always when i'm fucking busy."

i quickly finished up as fast as i could and then ran to the door.

i opened it to see huening kai and beomgyu.

"i thought you guys were studying."

"we were. and in fact, kai's a pro now."

"no, i still suck."

"so are you saying that my tutoring was worthless? huh?" beomgyu stated as he faced huening kai.

"n-no! not at all, it was very helpful."

"i'm just kidding kai. anyways let us in please." i did as he said and they came inside.

"your hair is pretty wet. how was your shower?" huening kai asked.

"you know, it was really nice. until you guys came. i had to rush because of you two."

"oh stop. you were dying to see me. after all, it's been how many days?" beomgyu flirted. i looked away and blushed, remembering the dream i had because i missed him so much.

"y-yeah whatever."

"haha! you guys are so cute! but um we're here because all of us still don't get along. we need to fix our relationships with the others. no offense, but especially you, yeonjun," huening kai said.

"exactly. we've already talked to taehyun and soobin and told them about hanging out again."

"oh my fucking god. i feel like we've hung out five billion times and we still don't fucking get along. i'll actually try this time so i don't have to keep hanging out with those losers." beomgyu immediately gave me a death stare. "i'm kidding honey bee." i looked him up and down as my fingers slid down his yellow shirt.

"okay yeah sure," beomgyu sarcastically stated as he rolled his eyes.

"that eye roll was sexy," i whispered to him as i bit my lip. "...you know, you'll be rolling your eyes harder when we do it."

"um! let's stop that now, okay? i don't wanna see porn hub in real life please," huening kai said as he shoved his way between us.

beomgyu giggled as he playfully hit my shoulder, still smirking.

i felt my cheeks get red.

—

a/n: LMFAOOO I'M SO FUCKING EVIIILLLL but seriously tho i'm genuinely so sorry that i made you guys stop breathing for a whole moment there. anyways i gave you hella taebin content like it literally lasted a whole four chapters lol and i felt bad bc this is a fucking yeongyu book so i gave you guys an extra spicy chapter with those two heusheusheu you can't be mad at me though bc this chapter is hella long (1147 words HSKSHS) but seriously i'm sorry love you bye don't kill me-