Meant To Be Together

20

TW's:
-Lot of weight loss (feeding tube)
-Mentions throwing up

It was a week after my second day of chemo and I just had another bone marrow biopsy to see if the chemo had been working. I would get the results really shortly and I was sitting with Clay on my bed.

I had been extremely sick because of the chemo, I threw up four to five times a day even though they already added a lot of medication against the nausea. I was losing a lot of weight because I ate less every day and if I ate I threw it all up again. My weight was getting worryingly low and I got weaker everyday. It was because of all the chemos, because I was young I was getting extremely high doses of all the drugs to kill as many leukaemia cells as possible. My mouth was so sore that I couldn't swallow or eat.

I was really nervous for the results and I would be having one week in which I wouldn't have chemo. My body could heal a little more and I would maybe be a little less nauseous.

I looked at Clay and he was rubbing through my hair, but he suddenly paused a little.

'Sweetie?'

I nodded and Clay smiled shortly. 'Don't get scared, okay?'

I nodded and Clay rubbed my hand. 'Your hair is falling out, Georgie.' He showed me a hand full of hair and I started feeling my head.

I tried fighting against my tears, but I started crying. 'My hair,' I whispered.

'You're beautiful with and without hair, sweetie.'

I nodded shyly and I started pulling all loose hairs out of my head. A lot of hair fell down on my bed and Clay smiled at me. 'You're still beautiful.'

I grabbed his phone and looked at myself in the camera. I still had some hair, but it looked really messy now.

'Can I just shave it all?' I whispered.

'Do you want to?' Clay asked, kissing my cheek.

I nodded slowly. 'I'd rather be immediately bald than like this.'

'Shall I call that sweet nurse?'

I nodded and Clay clicked my button. Within a minute the nurse came in and she smiled.

'What's up?'

'Uh- I- I want to shave my head,' I whispered. 'My hair is falling out a lot and I don't want to have bald spots on my head.'

'Okay, are you totally sure?' the nurse asked.

I nodded and I sat up, having the nurse walk away to grab something to shave my head with. She came back a few minutes later and sat down behind me.

'Are you ready?'

I nodded slowly. I wasn't ready at all, but it was better. The nurse started shaving my head completely bald and I held Clay's hand meanwhile. It was Sunday today and he had been with me the whole weekend.

My parents were here really often too and Clay wore a mask to school so he could visit me at the hospital. My parents called the school and they told my teachers and classmates that I had cancer. Everyone had been supportive and I had gotten a lot of texts from everyone supporting me.

Five minutes later the nurse smiled at me. 'Do you want to see, George?'

I nodded slightly and grabbed the mirror she was handing me. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled while fighting against my tears.

'I wish to have my hair, but I guess this is fine,' I whispered.

Clay held my hand and kissed the top of my head. 'You're absolutely beautiful. I'm falling even more in love with you.'

'Really?' I whispered. 'Do you actually like it?'

'I love it. You're beautiful with and without hair.'

I smiled shyly as Clay kissed my head multiple times. 'You're so beautiful, what the heck.'

'I would like a hat or a beanie though.'

'I'm buying you one tomorrow. I will be a little later then, if that's okay?'

I nodded. 'I'm already glad that you're going to be with me.'

Clay smiled and covered my face in kisses again. He looked at the nurse. 'Can I kiss him?'

She nodded and smiled. Clay pressed his lips on mine for a few seconds and cuddled up with me after that.

'Do you want something to eat, George?'

I shrugged. 'I'm not hungry and my mouth hurts a lot. With that I'm also really nauseous still.'

'You're losing weight and you haven't eaten anything in a few days now, George,' the nurse said.

I shrugged. 'I'm not hungry and I can't swallow.'

'I'll discuss this with the doctor,' she said as she walked off.

I cuddled up with Clay again and he held my hand tightly. 'You really have to try and eat something, sweetie. Your weight is dropping very quickly.'

I nodded slightly. 'Do you not like me anymore now?'

'I don't like you, I love you. And I still love you a lot. I love how strong you are.'

'I don't want to be bald,' I whispered.

'I understand, but you're beautiful.'

'No one is bald at my age.'

'But you're sick, sweetie.'

'I don't want to be sick,' I said, sobbing softly as Clay rubbed my back.

Clay just wanted to answer me as the nurse came back. 'We decided to give you a feeding tube for a little. Your body is really malnourished and you need that fuel to fight against the cancer.'

I nodded slowly. At this point I honestly didn't even care anymore. I let everything happen to me at this point. I was sick, I felt sick and I didn't want it anymore. The nurse brought in a feeding tube, making me gag loudly while I drank some water. Clay held my hand tightly and the nurse put a small piece of tape on my cheek to make sure the tube wouldn't slide away.

I looked at Clay with tears in my eyes. 'I'm sure you don't like me anymore now,' I whispered, having a tear roll down my cheek.

Clay kissed my whole face again. 'I love you so much. You're still beautiful and I'm glad you have a tube so you can still get the nutritions you need.'

I nodded slowly as the nurse attached me to a machine to give me food through my tube.

1054 words