Our Deep End | ✔️

CHAPTER 43

Elle's POV

On the way to my locker, I make a mental note that I will visit Camila after school. She texted me this morning saying she came down with a slight flu, and probably wouldn't be in school for the week.

The news was only another stab to my already crappy day. At the very least, I relied on Camila's warm smile to put me at ease between classes. But then again, not everything is about me.

I should probably stop by the store and bring her some of her favorite things before I visit, I casually think to myself as I'm at my locker. I basically have to force myself to collect my books so I can go to my next class. I don't know what the consequences of skipping last period will be, but I know it wouldn't be a smart idea to continue. I'm heartbroken, not out of my damn mind.

As I contemplate whether I should bring Camila a lavender, or ocean breeze scented candle I feel a gentle tap on my shoulder.

To my surprise, I turn around and see Christian standing beside me. I almost gasp. He's leaned up against the wall casually, but I can sense his nerves.

"Hi..." he says quietly, with a small smile. His dimple is on the verge of making an appearance.

It's been days since I last saw him in person...days since we've been this close to each other.

"Hi." I answer sternly, pretending to shuffle through my bag. I am quick to break our eye contact, because I feel the heat rising to my face and the beat of my heart getting faster. I recall telling him to stay away from me vividly, but deep down I'm thrilled he chose not to listen.

But he was still with another woman, I rain on my own parade.

He observes me in silence for a moment. I would kill to know what's going through his mind.

"You um...left your Biology textbook in my car. I know you said you don't want me to give you any of your stuff back but I know you need it...so...." he extends the thick textbook to me with the hand that's not bandaged. "Here."

"Oh? Thanks." I grab the book quickly, ignoring the feeling of electricity that spirals  through me when our fingertips brush against one another. God, I miss him.

Christian has always had the ability to jumble up my thoughts and feelings. We ended things for a reason. A very valid reason, and yet I can't seem to shake the feeling of regret. Almost as if nothing else matters but me returning to his embrace.

"You know..." he takes a step closer to me, and my nerves amplify. He's obviously still trying to proceed carefully. "It doesn't have to be this way. We can be civil."

I shut my locker aggressively.

"This not civil enough for you?"

I watch as his eyes travel to my locker, then back to me.

"No...it's not." He says gently, before adjusting his voice to a louder, more assertive tone. "We were friends before, I don't see why that can't be the case anymore."

In spite of my ever present ache for him, I find myself completely offended by his offer. Friends?

I scoff. "Are you joking?"

He shakes his head.

"Just because things didn't work out doesn't mean we have to be on bad terms."

His confidence in this proposal both angers, and saddens me. I think being friends would hurt me more than being without him does. To have him around and not be able to revel in his touch, or kiss his lips. After everything we've been through, there's no way he can ever be just a friend to me.