Our Deep End | ✔️

CHAPTER 60

A/N: Hey everyone! These are the last two chapters of this book. If you've made it this far, thank you so much. I hope you enjoy it. Please leave any questions or feedback you have! I will definitely respond.

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Okay, here weeee gooooo!

Christian's POV

The writing on the next page is written in black ink, unlike the previous which was written in blue, so I'm assuming that some time has passed since the two entries

"I just discovered something. Something huge...and frankly, I don't know how to feel. I wasn't necessarily looking to find this out. It just kind of...happened. From the beginning, I always had a weird feeling about Aurelia's death. She apparently died in an accident, which I can't find any record of. I wanted to find out where she's buried, so that I can pass by and pay my respects. All I wanted was closure, but ended up catching onto something else. Something so much bigger. Apparently there's no gravesite  for her. No memorial. Nothing. Anytime I tried to find something, or somewhere I can pay my respects, I came across the same sentence.

"Aurelia's husband Marc requests that boundaries are respected, as he deals with this tragedy privately."

At first I didn't think anything of it, but there was always a weird feeling I couldn't shake. A feeling that what happened to my birth mom wasn't just some tragic accident. I understand wanting privacy during a time of grief, but to not even have a funeral? Something is definitely off. Since I couldn't really put my thoughts into words, I just ignored everything , until I found something that made my feelings concrete.

After searching the depths of the internet for any crumb of this woman I could find, I actually found her email address. (AureliaAnaïsSantos@gmail.com). As desperate as I was to learn anything I can about her, I paid this guy fifty dollars to hack into it and give me the password. That was actually a pretty big waste of money, considering her password was just Christian's name and birthday. I'm pretty sure I could've figured that out myself, but that's not the point. I wasn't expecting to find anything serious in her inbox. I'm not even sure I was necessarily looking for anything serious either. I genuinely just wanted to learn more about her in any way that I could. What I did find though...is absolutely fucking crazy.

Marc Santos is not my biological father. Some guy named Louis is. Aurelia was cheating. Her inbox is full of messages from this Louis guy, and so are all the details of their affair.

Let's just say, my gut feeling was correct."

I shut the notebook again, before I can finish reading.

"Elle, pass me your laptop." I demand, as my body acts faster than my mind can process. Esme was conducting some investigation of her own, and I need to see what she saw.

I need to know what she knows.

"Christian..." Elle looks me in the eyes, as she hands me the laptop. It's clear she understands exactly what I'm going to do with it. "Are you sure this isn't too much?"

I swallow, taking the device from her hands.

"No," I quickly open gmail, and begin typing in the credentials of my mother's email, "but it doesn't matter."

I don't know if it's just my self-destructive tendencies, but the same urge I had to start reading Esme's journal to begin with, is the same one leading me to look through this inbox. The feeling that there's something I'm meant to see, whether I'm ready to or not.

My stomach twists in knots as I slowly finish typing my name and birthday into the password slot. I hit the enter key, and it takes forever to load, but soon enough, I have full access to my mom's email account.

"I'm in..." I tell her, breathlessly. Suddenly the room feels very small. I have no idea what I'm looking for. No idea if I even want to find what I'm looking for. I glance at the screen, and scroll through the influx of random emails. Elle scootches closer to me for a better view.

It takes me a while, but I finally find what Esme was talking about. I eventually scroll down far enough, and see a whole bunch of emails between my mother and this Louis person. I have no idea who he is.The only recollection I have is seeing his name on Esme's adoption papers.

There are countless emails between the two. I don't find much to clarify who Louis is, other than the man who was fucking my mother behind my father's back. The emails consisted of loving, intimate messages shared back and forth between them. This affair went on for a long time. They talked constantly...planning to meet up while my father was away on business trips...missing each other when they're apart...all that. This seemed like a lot more than a casual thing though. If I didn't know any better, I'd go as far to say that my mom loved this man. A lot.

I don't read through the rest of the messages, because they're pretty much all the same...her telling him  she wishes they could be together all the time...him telling her to leave my dad. I have no interest in this mess of a love triangle, but as I'm scrolling back up to the top of the screen, something catches my eye.

Their stream of consistent messages stopped around the time Esme was born... the reason for that being very obvious. But after a while, they start talking again. I guess they decided to continue the affair. What caught my attention are the last two emails my mom sent to him, which are really close to around the time she died.

Against my better judgement, I open them.

"Louis,

This is the last time you will hear from me. I know I've been distant lately, but I simply have no other choice. Continuing our relationship after I gave birth to our baby was a mistake...because I'm pregnant again. And it's yours. Marc has been away on business, and you're the only person I've slept with since my last cycle. I thought we were careful, but apparently not careful enough. Either way, there's nothing we can do about it now. Marc can never find out that I've been seeing you again...he'll kill me, Louis. Seriously. He tried to when he found out about us the first time, and he almost succeeded. The only reason I'm still alive is because I agreed to give our baby girl up for adoption, and never see you again.

It breaks my heart to do this, but I have no other choice. I'm gonna tell Marc I'm pregnant, and let him believe that it's his child. All I want is to be with you, Louis. You know that. There's not a day that passes where I don't think about you, or our daughter. I always mourn what could've been, but I have Christian to think about. I have to protect him from his monster of a father. I can't do that if I'm dead, which I will be if my husband finds out about us again. So, consider this goodbye. Don't call or text. Don't email...don't even respond to this one.  I love you so much. I'm so sorry.

Aurelia."

Despite my mother's insisting that they no longer speak again, she sends him another email a few weeks later. And that email is the last one she'll ever send anyone ever again.

"Louis,

Marc knows. If anything happens to me, take care of my son."

The chills up my spine suddenly feel like an avalanche. My mind is running laps, and feels like it may just go up in flames. If I read what I think I just read correctly, there is only one conclusion to be drawn. A conclusion that has never once crossed my mind.

My father...is a fucking murderer.

He killed my mom.

It all makes sense...the fake news articles about her car crash...the details that never made sense...the fucking letter I found in that box a couple weeks ago, which I now know is from Louis. Everything adds up, as all the lies that made up eighteen years of my life come crumbling down.

Anger, devastation and confusion cascade upon me, leaving me paralyzed. I can't move. Can't talk. Can't think.

My father killed my mother.

And Esme was the one who figured it out.