tough - BE

4

i made my way inside the house to my dad sitting on the couch, it looked like as if he'd been crying. my dad doesn't cry in front of me or my siblings. i haven't talked to him in a couple days and i talked to my mom last night. she has breast cancer but she told me she was feeling better so i wasn't worried about anything. my parents are really like my best friends i don't know what i would do without them. i'm now ranting in my head distracting myself of the real world because i know something must've happened with mom if my dad drove five miles just to get to me without calling. i have an older brother named Malik and a younger brother named andres. I was wondering why Andres wasn't here because he always wants to come visit me.

"hey dad, what's up?" i said hugging him lexie was in the other room not wanting to disturb us

"quinn, you need to come back home to oakland for a couple days."

his voice was soft and weak not like his normal strong loud voice which worried me more. is my mom okay? did something happen? i have so many questions but only one ended up coming out.

"when do we leave?" i asked him without other question

"quinn i'm leaving today. you can leave sometime early next week. your mother has a surgery next week and i'm afraid she won't make it. the funeral is planned on thursday just in case" he admitted standing up and heading for the door. i don't understand why he didn't just call me or why my mom didn't mention this. why are we already planning ahead? she could make fit and we'd be worrying for nothing.

"dad-"

"i love you. see you soon" he kissed me on my forehead and left

i was in shock. scared. tears formed in my eyes and i yelled for lexie. she came running asking me what was wrong.

"my mom won't make it i guess?" i said crying i don't like crying in front of people. lexie was my best friend but she's also like a big sister she's 23

"i'm so sorry babe" she said rubbing my head

dont trip she calls everyone babe and when i mean everyone i mean including the mail man. if i could describe lexie in one way i'd say Eleanor from the good place after she died. and if you haven't watched the good place then i guess the easiest way to describe it is really funny raging bisexual who hasn't said she's bisexual but like in a way she has. i wiped my tears, toughening up. my family always taught us it was okay to show emotion but in my head i tell myself it's embarrassing and that i need to be the strong one in the family. i grew up playing sports but i never committed to a college though because it wasn't my main interest i want to have more time to focus on my music and art. billie pointed out her house on the way here so i wanted to go see her. i know she just dropped me off but she's a really good person. lexie asked me where i was going and i said out with a friend again.

"you're going to have to tell me who this friend is!"

"no, you stay easy tho!" i said walking out

whenever i cry my cheeks get all puffy and i could feel it but i thought i looked fine. billie and i are pretty tight after being strangers to each other just a day ago. i walked up to the house and knocked on the door assuming she lived alone cause she's rich and famous. an older woman opened the door and i felt so awkward cause i hate talking to people i don't know. you know come to think about all i said today i think i have slight social anxiety...

"can i help you?" they lady said

"oh sorry i think i got the wrong house, i'll go"

before i walked away she asked me who i was looking for.

"oh im looking for billie? i don't think im at the right house though" i admitted

"sorry sweetie billie does live here but we would really appreciate it if fans actually don't come to the house because this is our safe spot and well you understand."

so she does live here huh.

"i totally understand ma'am but i'm not a fan, i'm uh friend" i said awkwardly

"what's your name?"

"quinn"

"okay i'll check with her first"

the lady closed the door and i think she went to ask billie if she actually knew me cause she doesn't want the danger of a fan coming into her house and shit i understand. the door opened again and it was billie this time she pulled me in quickly and smiled.

"hey quinn what's up!" she asked me dragging me to her room

"so much is up kid but i just want to lay down and not talk"

"my room is perfect for that"

we got to her room and she had a nice canopy over her bed with blankets cover her walls and the lights were red and it was really a vibe. she jumped onto her bed and invited me on i took off my shoes and hopped on laying down on her what it seemed like thousands of pillows.

"i like your room" i said

"thanks it's fucking dope isn't it" she said excitedly

"yeah." i sighed still worried about my mom

"are you sure you don't wanna talk?" she asked putting her hand on my shoulder

"i have to go to oakland next week and see my mom. she's going in for surgery and there's a big chance she won't make it" i admitted

"man i'm sorry quinn, you can use my guitar if you want to calm yourself down"

earlier we talked about our comfort hobby hers is either baking or piano and mine is guitar. i agreed and i played blackbird by the beatles she started singing along with her beautiful soft voice and i harmonized until we finished the song.

"you're a really good singer you should try to do it professionally" i said sarcastically

"oh thanks ive been thinking about it actually" she laughed

"billie i don't want to say goodbye to my mom" i said out of the blue

she put her hand on mine "you won't be saying goodbye she'll still be with you wherever you go"

it comforted me hearing that.

"will you come with me?" i blurted

that was really inappropriate for me to say we just met and she's younger than me.

"quinn we just met i don't think that would be in any way respectful to you or your family" she said looking down

"youre right i don't know where that came from i'm so sorry" i apologized

"you're okay i know you haven't had enough time to process it but when do you leave?"

"i'm planning to leave in seven days" i said

"we'll see how close we get in those seven days, maybe i will go just to keep you company" she said softly

a/n
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how are you guys liking the book? i'm really proud of this one i fell like the characters really have a personality.