tough - BE

10

QUINN
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the last place i remember being was in the back of my car crying and billie telling me to sleep for a little bit. i check the time and it's already the next day, somehow i managed to wake up in my bed. When i'm sad i completely block out what made me sad in the first place but i can't manage to do that now. I looked on instagram to see what billie posted on her story. i'm feeling things i shouldn't be feeling. what is that supposed to mean. i assume she was still with me then. kiss me. what. shaking that off probably just a music teaser. i went downstairs still wearing what i wore at the funeral yesterday. it was covered in mascara from me crying. lexie was eating at the table with an extra plate next to her for me. there was a huge basket of flowers next to her.

"is that for me?" i asked putting my hands over my heart

"yup"

"thank you" i said making a pouty face

"oh girl that's not from me, that's from your lover"

"my lover?" i asked confused

i don't have a lover anymore what she talkin bout.

"yeah billie theres a note in there i haven't read it you should" she sighed

"she's not my lover, we're just friends" i scoffed

i opened the letter and it said, i'm here for you, i hope you feel a little better soon <3 - billie.

"the kiss says otherwise" she laughed

"who the FUCK told you about the kiss" i yelled

im not mad i am ASTONISHED that she knows why THE FUCK does she know?!! did billie tell her. no billie doesn't seem like the type to do that, does she. oh go oh god.

"she told me last night when she got here, you should really talk to her"

"i guess.. but..yeah" i couldn't make an excuse.

"you don't have to do it today, you still need to mourn your mom be healthy with it" she said

"can't i just shove it down like i do all the time?" i asked

i was being serious all my emotions are stuffed at the bottom of the drain i'm lucky i haven't bursted yet but to be honest it's the easiest thing for me maybe not the healthiest but it works! i do have feelings for her i genuinely do but. huh i guess there really isn't any buts is there. i don't even know if she likes girls!! who am i kidding that kiss was legit. plus that night when she was sleeping i was doing stuff to distract me and i changed her contact name to. "my billie<3"... OH GOD IM WHIPPED.

"listen just think about it. think about talking to her you know you have feelings for her don't act like you're fully straight 100% of the time just like you do everytime you either have a crush on a girl or have hooked up with one" she sighed going away

she's right. i dont know if im ready to say i'm bi ive never been in a relationship with a girl it's only ever been guys but i have hooked up with them on multiple occasions. okay by multiple i mean three times i have NO bitches. i guess i should text her thanking her for the flowers and maybe just maybe arranging something for us to talk alone.

"hey youre working tomorrow right?" i asked lexie

"yeah for for a couple hours, why?" she asked from across the room

"just making sure"

great i have the house to myself for a little bit, i could invite her over then.

me: hey thanks a lot for the flowers i really appreciate you <3

my billie💕: it's no problem quinn i'm glad you like them

me: i was wondering are you able to come over later around like 5pm ?

my billie💕: yeah that's right after i'm done in the studio why what's up

me: i just wanna talk about the kiss

my billie💕: hey if you felt uncomfortable i'm sorry about that

me: no! i liked it a lot actually i just want to see you again..

my billie💕: oh, okay i'll see you then :)

me: see you :)