tough - BE

11

"how you doin ma" billie said hugging me

"i'm doing better" i said

it's the next day and lexie is at work. billie and u haven't talked since i invited her last night and i'm nervous. I liked the kiss in not sure she did though that's the problem i didn't mean to kiss her i just it just happened. we went to my room and sat down on the bed leaving an awkward silence between us. she opened her mouth but nothing came out and she just stayed quiet. i was still thinking on what to say. we still sat there looking at the each other. i swear her eyes are beautiful they are the prettiest i've ever seen. she recently dyed her hair green and you'd think that green would look bad on someone but it really makes her eyes pop.

"I'm sorry about the kiss" i blurted out

"you shouldn't be sorry i should we were both caught in the moment and i leaned in first" she said putting her hand on my thigh

i don't know where to continue the conversation from here. i have to admit i like her!!!! i laid down on my bed putting my hands on my face. do i tell her? i felt her lay beside me. i looked over to her and she was smiling.

BILLIE
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i laid next to her to see what was wrong i smiled to her and she smiled back. this is one of the most confusing interactions i've had in my life neither of us are talking just looking at each other. it's not awkward it's calming, it's one of those moments where you just realize this is where we're meant to be right now no talking just-

"i cannot sit here in silence" i interrupted my own train of thought by blurting something i didn't even think about saying first

i turned my head to the side and looked at her, her face was confused, startled of what i just said. i brought my hand up to her cheek and hesitantly leaned in. i'm not going to ignore my feelings again like before. i like her and i have to make a proper move. she leaned in too and before i knew it we were kissing. slowly. we stopped and looked at each other in the eyes a smiled crept up in both our faces laughing we talked again.

"i guess that clears the air" she laughed

"what i got from that was that i'm into a 19 year old girl who plays the electric guitar and has really curly hair" i joked

"yeah and i'm into a girl a year younger than me who is insanely talented" she smiled

both our smiles faded as we took a moment to process what just happened we both admitted it quickly but where do we go from here?

QUINN
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with the industry billies in i don't know where we go from here. i assume her management is strict on the dating situation and it could look bad because i'm 19 and she's 17 we're only a year apart but december birthdays are weird you know? i don't know if billies ever had an experience with a girl also and just because we like each other doesn't mean necessarily we'll be in a relationship together. i'm overthinking it i know but it's ham a genuine question!

"where do we go from here?" i asked

"for now we should only show together as friends" she said

i agree it's best for both of us in not sure what we are. the music industry is rough and the general public is homophobic. she doesn't know if she fully likes girls to be honest neither do i and i told myself i wasn't ready for a relationship.

"yeah" i agreed

"with benefits" she continued

"deadass?" i asked

"well yeah we can't seem to keep our hands off each other"

she's right LMAO. speaking of which ima go make out with her again goodbye