Through Thick and Thin- Diluc x (female) Reader

Chapter 34: Inner Turmoil

I lied awake for a few hours, tossing and turning to no avail. My own thoughts played again and again in my head.
You missed your chance... you took to long to aim, and now you've missed your shot.
Why was I so worried? I had all the time in the world, surely. I could kiss him goodbye tomorrow as I left for the city, or even as a good morning. What was the big deal about missing it that night?
But the moment seemed so perfect. My mind beat itself up for those few hours that I had tossed and turned. Eventually, I gave up on sleeping and stood up, walking to the door.
My bare feet hit the floor silently as I did, being the only noise I could hear. As I creaked the door open, I peeked out of the hallway. First I looked towards Dilucs door, debating on knocking. Then, I turned towards the library and was surprised to see light emanating from the cracked open door.
My heart beat a little faster as I carefully snuck up to the library, peeking inside. My ears perked in surprise, seeing familiar red hair. Diluc sat on the couch in the library, facing the fire. In his hands was a book, and his curly red hair cascaded over his broad shoulders.
He wore a similar shirt to what I wore. Had Adelinde taken the shirt from his wardrobe? Am I... wearing Dilucs shirt? I felt my cheeks glow red at the thought.
Diluc looked up from his book, and turned towards me. His eyes widened in recognition. "Y/n? What are you doing awake?"
I panicked a little, realizing it was probably too late to hide and go back to my room. "Oh, I..." I stuttered a little. "I... couldn't sleep," I told him truthfully.
"Hm, I had the same problem," Diluc said, turning back to his book. "If you'd like, you can read a book from the shelf. Or even just sit for awhile, if you would like some company."
I would love the company... "Sure," I said, walking over to the couch and sitting down hesitantly.
Diluc looked over, glancing at my attire. "Is that... my shirt?" He asked, a brow raised.
"I-is it?" I asked, not entirely sure. "I... Adelinde left it for me in the spare room..."
"Is that so?" Diluc looked back to his book, smiling a little. "It looks nice on you."
I went red as he said that, and I brought my knees up. Hugging my legs, I watched the fire burn gently. The flames reminded me of Dilucs hair.
"T-thanks," I said. Take too long to aim, and your shot will surely miss. That sentence echoed in my mind constantly. "Why... couldn't you sleep?"
"I'm not sure," Diluc said, although it seemed as though he was hiding something. "You?"
I felt my heart race. Could I really tell him? Would he think I was crazy because the thought of missing my chance kept me from sleeping?
"I had a nightmare, I suppose," I lied. I knew it was a bad lie, I had taken too long to answer, and it wasn't even the truth. Take too long to aim, and your shot will surely miss.
"A nightmare?" Diluc asked, although I could tell he didn't quite believe me. "You can tell me, y/n. It's alright. Was the bed not comfortable?"
I shook my head. "No, the bed was fine, I just..." remembering Ambers words, I decided to just tell him the truth. "When I stopped you, I... I wanted to hug you, but I got nervous," it wasn't the full truth, but it wasn't a lie.
"Is that all?" Diluc asked, smiling slightly. It was comforting.
I stayed silent for a moment, contemplating my words. I didn't have long to do so, as I felt his arms wrap around me gently. Flushing, I looked up to him as he leaned forward, pulling me into a secure yet comfortable hug.
Bringing my arms around him, I hid my face in his shoulder. He brought his hand to my head, gently resting his hand on my hair. My ears went flat, relaxed.
I felt my heart racing, my stomach fluttering away. "Diluc..."
"Hm?" He hummed. I leaned away a little, looking up to him again.
Diluc moved his hand from my head to my face, gently brushing my cheek. I gasped slightly, my face getting redder. I stared into his eyes, trying to find the words I was looking for.
Before I could, Diluc spoke up. "I'm sorry if I'm intruding, but..." he asked nervously, and he chuckled slightly. "Can I?" He stole a quick glance towards my lips, my heart fluttering as he did.
I smiled, bringing my arms over his shoulders instead. His face tinted pink a little as he leaned down, giving me the kiss I had hoped for. I closed my eyes, enjoying the moment.
Suddenly, I was glad I had come out of my room. I was beating myself up for missing what I had thought was the perfect moment, and I ended up with something even better. The warmth and soft glow of the fire made me feel at home, even though I was miles away and in a certain someone's arms.
Diluc pulled away, looking away somewhat shyly. "I'm sorry if that ended up a little... awkward," he smiled, his cheeks still flushed. "I wasn't sure how to ask."
"Me neither," I replied, my stomach overflowing with butterflies.
We sat like that for some time, him quietly holding me in his arms. Eventually, the fire began to die. I wasn't sure how long we had sat like that, but I was sure it was getting late.
"It's really late now," I said, watching the warm glow of the fire start to disappear. Although the heat of the fire was gone, I was still warm with Dilucs arms around me.
Diluc nodded, hesitantly releasing his hold on me. I held back a shiver, the temperature difference apparent to me. He stood up, offering his hand to me.
I took it without hesitation, and he pulled me up out of my seat. "Will you sleep okay?" He asked me, concern hidden in his tone.
I nodded. "I think," I smiled, happy I had come out of the room.
"Don't be afraid to knock on my door, should you feel the need to," He walked out of the library, and I followed him down the hall for the second time that night. I stopped when we reached my door, but I watched him continue on, my hand on the knob. I wondered if I should follow him, and my face went red at the thought.
No, I shouldn't... my mind raced, my feet planted. Is it too soon to share a bed? Would he think I was crazy again?
Diluc stopped, halfway to his room. He turned, noticing me watching him. "Y/n?"
"Y-yeah?" I asked him, still standing outside my door.
"Are you sure you will sleep alright?" He said, worry in his tone again. He turned on his heels walking back towards me. "Do you want to sleep in my room?"
I felt my face heat up again, and the thought crossed my mind. I would... "No, no, it's alright," I said, feeling like I had already pushed boundaries that night.
But then again... Diluc offered for me to stay the night. Diluc had asked to kiss me. And now, Diluc was offering yet another thing. Was he only doing so because he felt bad? Or was it because he truly felt the same?
"I don't mind," he said, holding my hand which I hadn't noticed was shaking slightly. He ran his thumb over my fingers comfortingly. "If it's alright with you."
My heart raced, the decision laid out in front of me. I was worried I was overstepping. I wanted to accept his offer, but the thought crossed my mind that he was only offering to be nice, or to make me feel better. What good was our time together if it was only to make me feel better about myself?
"Is... is it really alright?" I asked him, my ears flattened anxiously. "I can sleep on my own, you've already done so much for me..."
"Of course it's alright," he said, smiling at me. His small smile made me feel warm, and the nervousness began to disappear.
"If you insist," I said, removing my hand from my doorknob. I joined it with my other hand, which Diluc had taken.
"I wouldn't insist on something like that," Diluc said lightheartedly. "You can sleep on your own, if you'd rather."
"No, no, I don't mind..." I reassured him.
As he said that, I realized he wasn't just trying to be nice. Does he care that much? I asked myself, feeling more content with the reassurance that I wasn't overstepping any boundaries.
Tired of my internal battles, I let him lead me into the darkness, towards his room. I felt the negative thoughts that had bothered me so much start to slip away, and I realized how tired I was.
Diluc reached the door to his room and stopped to open it, glancing back at me to make sure I wasn't having any second thoughts about sharing a bed. I smiled at him as he looked back, and a look of relief seemed to sweep over his face before he turned back to his door.
Swinging it open gently, he let me walk in before shutting it behind us. Although I couldn't see much in the darkness, I could make out the shape of a large bed, certainly fit for a winery owner. When Diluc had closed the door, he grasped my hand again and led me in the darkness.
Finding my way to one side, I slipped under the covers, fatigue taking over my senses. As I closed my eyes, I felt Diluc laying down on the other side.
"Night," I said to him quietly before feeling my consciousness start to slip.
"Goodnight, y/n," I heard Diluc say.
I could feel his warmth beside me. That, combined with the soft pillows and blankets, lured me into tiredness. After having struggled to sleep for hours before hand, the sweet feeling of slumber descended upon me.