The Anarchy Princess

13. "Bloody Edge"

July
~
I spiraled. Not seeing Jax everyday, it killed me. I screamed at the walls in my small room of Happy's house. I never slept for days. My grief was too strong. I cried basically all the time. Happy begged me to go see Karina, I couldn't, I didn't want a shrink. I sound just like Gemma. Jesus. I got up to get some booze and food. Happy was sitting on the couch. "You're up." He stated. "You're home." I replied. I pulled my hood over my head as I passed by him. "Jules-" he started. It was the same lecture every day. Go out, have fun. Do some productive shit. "No!" I snapped, "you don't get it!" I spat. "Oh I don't?!" He asked angrily. "Jesus babygirl, just look at yourself!" He yelled. "What?!" I asked. "It's been weeks!" He stated. "I knew it. You don't understand. No one understands." I said numbly. I opened the fridge to find it empty, a wrapped up breakfast burrito sitting on a plate on the counter. "What the hell?" I asked. "Where'd all the liquor go?!" I yelled, stalking over to his place on the couch. "It's gone." He said. "What the fuck do you mean it's gone!" I asked. "I donated it. All of it. You have a problem, kid." He said. "Yeah, I do" I scoffed in disbelief at him. "You're my problem." I replied angrily. He only stared up at me. "Okay." He said quietly. "Is that how you really feel?" He asked. I scoffed again looking around the room. "Yeah. It is." I said, of course I didn't. But my pride, and emotional state were being clouded. He sighed, standing up. He held a key out to me. "You should take a drive." He said, "fuck that, I'll take my bike." I said as I pushed past him. "You're going in too deep sweetheart." He said from the doorway. "Maybe, but it's the life I chose." I replied. "That's what I fear baby. This life? It's ruthless." He said. "Well, it's like you said dad. I'm going in too deep." I said as I nodded and he turned letting me walk past and walk out to the garage to my bike. My therapy. Riding. Unbeknownst to him, I had packed a few bags in my saddles and wasn't planning to come back here any time soon. To him, to this town. I needed to get away. Leave. I peeled out of the driveway and flew down the small residential street. I closed my eyes for a moment, letting the feeling of the wind consume me. I opened them back up and looked over to my right, the empty space had been filled, Jax was on his bike, riding side by side with me. The biggest smile was on his face. I laughed along with him. I was caught up in seeing him. I didn't see the car that was about to impact on my left side and throw me 8 feet. I groaned, opening my eyes to a bright sky. "You okay sis?" He asked. My vision was blurry but I clearly saw him standing over me. "Yeah." I groaned as he had extended his arm to me. "Ma'am you shouldn't stand up." A woman called out to me. "It's ok, I'll be ok." I assured her. "Come on. Pick the bike up, we can keep riding." He said as I stumbled over to my bike. "You're in no condition to ride baby." Dad called out from across the street. "She can do what she wants." Jax said. He snapped his fingers and dad had disappeared. "You still wanna ride?" He asked. I nodded. "Let's go." He smiled as he led me back to my bike. "Jax?" I asked. "Hm." He looked over at me. "I love you. So much." I cried. "Hey now." He said as he wrapped me in a tight hug, he rested his chin on top of my head as minutes passed by. I held him tightly, breathing in his scent. "July?" A voice broke through my senses. I looked over to see Emily. "Em!" I exclaimed happily. "Hey! Is everything ok?" She asked cautiously. "Yeah. Yeah, me and Jax were riding." I said. "I see." She said, hesitantly. "I crashed. But I'm fine, right Jax?" I asked, looking back over to my older brother who was propped up on bike, having a cigarette. He nodded back. Emily's eyes darted to the curb in front of the store then back to me as she smiled. "I'm gonna call someone and I'll be right back, okay?" She said hopeful to me. I smiled over at her.