The Anarchy Princess

5. "July"

I stood, frozen. Staring back at the boy I once knew, at the man he'd become. "Hi." He breathed. His frame was the same, he just looked way different. "Hi." I replied, curtly. "Can we talk?" He asked. "Anything you can say, say it here." Happy's voice boomed, sound of a shotgun being loaded, the bullets entering their chamber. I stiffened. He was standing here, right in front of me what do I even say. "It's fine pops, I'll walk him out to the car." I called out without even turning around to face Happy. The mumbling of words were quiet as I closed the door. "What are you doing here Dean." I asked bluntly. "I- I needed to see you, I missed you Jules." He sighed. "Well you saw me. And it's July now" I replied, I didn't mean to be so bitchy, but it was just too overwhelming, seeing him here. "Right, right. Um, Sorry. July." He corrected as he stammered out words. "Thanks for stopping by Dean, it just would have been nicer 8 years ago." I nod. His face held so much emotion. I couldn't read him, not really. It was pain but there was something else too. "I shouldn't have come back. I want to apologize to you, for leaving, for all of it." He said, my mind raced as I heard a bike starting to approach, eyes wide, I shoved him into his car. "Yeah bye." I said quickly, he sighed, looking at me again with the same pain, "go!" I ordered. I sat on the curb and waited. He pulled away quickly, anger taking over his features. A bike had turned up, parking itself on the curb where I resided. "Hey there, baby doll. Is he ready?" Tig asked. "Yeah, he'll be out in a few." I replied. "And that car?" He questioned, "no one." I said. He gave me a questionable look but he didn't press, which I was thankful for. "Hey." Happy's voice rang out. "Take care of the dog while I'm gone, and no visits." He said, as he climbed on his bike in the driveway. I nodded in reply as the two had taken off. Now I'd be bored. I had a thought, fishing through my box of miscellaneous items, a small card. A name and a number sat boldly on the front. I sat debating whether to call or not. "Fuck it." I muttered. I had nothing better to do today anyways. I dialed, it had rang a few times before finally being picked up. "Hello?" His voice questioned. "Sam?" I breathed. "July?" His voice held confusion but it was more surprise, I knew him well. "Are you in town too?" I asked. "Uh no, why? Is my brother?" He asked. "He is. He just paid me a visit." I said. "Wow, finally. After all these years." He laughed, "yeah. Finally." I sighed. "What did he say?" Sam asked. "He wanted to talk, I couldn't. Not then, I sent him away. But I'll, uh, find him. Thanks Sam." I said as I hung up. It was only Dean. He was here for me. I took a deep breath. Getting ready. I fed Ope and gave him water. "I'll be back soon bud, don't ruin the house, ok monster?" I asked, as I pet him. "Let's go." I muttered as I started my bike. After hours of searching, I finally found his Impala, sat outside a diner. I took a seat at the booth he had sat. "You're here." He greeted sharply. "Yes. I am. Look, I'm sorry for earlier. That was a mistake." I sighed. "Yeah, some mistake huh." He bit. "I'm trying Dean, it's not easy when you show up 8 years, after literally ghosting me." I said. "It killed me when you left. Ben- Cherry- they were hell. Where were you. What did I do wrong." I asked. "Nothing, you did nothing wrong. I had some- business. That I had to attend to, I don't want you to blame yourself for me leaving." He said quietly, his tone was soft, his hand was placed onto mine as comfort. I couldn't look at him the same, he examined my hand, no doubt feeling the cool metal that sat on my finger. "You- you're engaged?" He inhaled. "Yeah." I laughed bitterly. "Like I said, 8 years is a long time." I replied. "Hey, I want to make things right with us." He said. "I never forgot about you." "Well you could have called. Texted. Emailed. Even a fucking post card." I yelled, catching some of the attention from the other diners. "Let me make it up to you. Drinks, dinner, movie. All of it. And if you're still dead set on getting married I- I understand." He said, "unreal, you want me to give you a chance, after you left. For 8 years!" I yelled. He sat at the booth, I stood up. I started to walk away. I stopped at the door to the diner, storming back up to him. His green eyes held pain. "Fine. One chance. Don't fucking blow it for yourself." I muttered, walking out. "Who's the lucky guy?" He asked. "An old friend." I replied. I left it at that, and he didn't ask me for a name. "I really am sorry, for everything." He said. "It was complicated to let you in on the job." He sighed. "Yeah, well I would have understood." I said angry. "I know, I know you would have." He replied. "I just- I couldn't." I stared at him, he held pain, and anger. They were both battling one another. "Hey." I called, he looked over at me and I watched his eyes change instantly. The pain and the anger had dissolved. Adoration. I stared at myself in them. "I'm sorry." He coughed. "Don't." I replied quietly, I laid my hand on his shoulder. "Don't pretend with me." I said. He sighed. "It hurts. So much." He whispered. "I shouldn't have left." He said, letting out a shaking breath. "It's okay Dean, you had to." I replied. "No, I should have fought harder for you." He snapped. "I couldn't do it." He cried. "We were young, had hope." I said. "I'm an idiot for ever leaving." "But it wasn't your fault." I said. He just melted into my arms. I held him.