always been mine - emily prentiss x reader

chapter twenty // the stars

WARNINGS: homophobia, homophobic violence (case material + personal), general case material, abduction, violence

i'm sorry for not updating as frequently, idk i'm just not confident in my work and it demotivates me because i think it's shit, but here's another chapter in case you disagree with me on that lmao

i went to lake placid when i was like 12 or 13 for my little brother's hockey tournament, and it was december and never got above 20 degrees fahrenheit so that's why this is in winter because all my memories of that place are being freezing lmfao. and the wedding was in december anyway so it's fine. 

why was the wedding in december? because i said so. have fun bitches love you

also thank you so much for 300 (almost 400 now) reads!

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It was below freezing in Lake Placid, and much of the team was woefully underdressed. "Did none of you think to check the weather?" you chuckle.

"I'm more concerned with the murders than the weather, Y/L/N, but damn, if it isn't cold," Morgan shivered. Your face flushed and you looked down at the snow covering the ground. Emily made a mental note to talk to you later.

You and JJ went to the M.E. — the women had evidently been drugged with a cocktail of dissociative and date-rape drugs — and then to the station. As you were driving back, she said, "This must be hard for you, Y/N. Are you sure you're okay to work this case?"

"We've fit into victimology before. Women are so often the targets of these murderers, and no one questions us. When it's racially motivated, no one questions Morgan. Why is this any different?" 

"Y/N...you and Emily just got married. You're allowed to have feelings about this case,"

"I'm okay, JJ. Seriously. Please drop it." She nodded in apology.

-

Due to the ever-shrinking budget, the team was sharing rooms. Hotch offered to give JJ the lone room, as there was an odd number and the Bureau was against letting male and female agents room together — though it's not like that rule ever stopped anyone, and if JJ had been a man then Hotch would've gotten the lone room as unit chief — but you and Emily offered her the spare bed in your room. You were required to have two beds in the hotel room when on business, but never used the second. 

"Are you sure?" JJ asked. "I don't want to impose." Emily shook her head.

"Nonsense, it's not an imposition at all, JJ. If it's okay with Hotch." Hotch raised his eyebrows and shrugged.

"Dave, you're with me, then Reid and Morgan are sharing, and the ladies, I suppose. Get some rest, everyone, we'll start fresh in the morning."

JJ gave you both an awkward smile and decided not to ask if you were okay. You'd told her to drop it, but it was obvious she was worried about you guys. She got in the shower and you and Em were alone. 

"Baby, you looked upset earlier," she said in a soft voice.

"What, someone's killing lesbian couples and I'm not allowed to be a little on edge?" Emily drew shapes on your arm, knowing how it comforted you to feel her absentminded touch.

"No, at what Morgan said to you,"

"What did he say?" you lied. You remembered just fine. He probably didn't mean it like you'd taken it, but all your emotions were twisted on this case.

"You asked if anyone else had check the weather, 'cause everyone was cold, and he said he cared more about the murders than the weather. You looked upset, honey,"

"Was it really that obvious?" you chuckle. 

"No, I just...I know how you work. I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. And if he did, I'll kick his ass." You smile and look down. Emily kisses your forehead and wraps her arms around you, never wanting to let you go.

— 

You don't know what happened. Where are you? Where's Emily? You're not in your hotel anymore, the air around you is frigid and raw. You're almost certainly outside. You feel drunk, almost, but only the negative effects. Dizziness, motor impairment, confusion, drowsiness. Your thoughts are blocked by a haze. What had you drank? Had you been drugged?

It took you an astounding amount of time to even realize you were moving. The blurry spots above you were blocked by a shadowy figure every few seconds. Stars. The stars. You were laying on something, a table or stretcher, being rolled somewhere. You smile. Someone's helping you. You're safe.

No, no you're not.

It's only the beginning. 

You close your eyes, try to sleep. You're so tired... 

When you shoot awake, your abdomen is on fire. There's a camera recording you, and a man cleaning a bloody knife. Was it your blood? You try to scream, you thought you did, but he doesn't bat an eye. You can't move. 

"What's her name?" he asks you. Whose name? "I know it already, but it'll make it so much quicker for you to see her. If I have to do it myself, you'll be dead by the time she gets here. You're bleeding out." You can't move, can't answer, all you can do is try to stay awake and alive. "You're like all of them. Sinners. And yet," the man laughs, "you all make the same decision. The decision any man of God would make. You choose to die over her. Emily...you're trying to catch me, Y/N, you and your 'team', but I've been watching you since you got here. Emily's going to die, too, you have to know that. Knowing what's coming for the both of you...does that make it any easier? Or only harder?"

You never understood why criminals felt the need to make elaborate speeches. He left your line of sight, taking his gun and knife with him. He'd stabbed you. 

You can't stay awake anymore. You're so tired, and it hurts so much...

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I'M SORRY it hurts me to write this