always been mine - emily prentiss x reader

chapter sixty-two // the author of sin

tw: discussions of what happened last chapter (homophobia, attempted sexual assault, threat of violence)

-

Your sweet wife. She held you and kissed you while you watched TV, until she got up to make lunch at around noon. "Lay here, baby. I love you,"

"Love you, Emsy..."

Will could fucking die as far as you were concerned. The only issue you would take is that JJ's sweet little boy loved his dad. But Will, as a person and not as Henry's father? Motherfucker.

JJ came and sat on the couch next to you while Emily was making pasta. "Both the kids are out cold," she chuckled. "Must've tired themselves out playing all morning." You shifted so you could put your head in her lap. Although unexpected, it was not unwelcome; JJ started to stroke your hair softly. She was always soft.

"Please don't blame yourself, by the way," you murmured. "What he did isn't your fault,"

"He was here for me,"

"I made a choice to deal with it, JJ, it's fine,"

"It's not. You didn't choose that at all. What Will did to you was wrong, unequivocally. Don't blame yourself, either, Y/N,"

"I'm not." You tried to pull on the blanket at the end of the couch with your feet, eventually getting it and pulling it up to cover you all the way up to your neck. JJ's fingernails scratched at your scalp in comfort, and you were very sleepy in her lap. 

As soon as you started to dream, it was about him, and you woke up to feeling like you're falling. Your body spasmed, it seemed to JJ, until you looked up at her, grateful you were safe with her. There was an empty bowl that used to contain pasta on the coffee table; she let you sleep in her lap while she and Emily ate lunch and whispered. 

"Y/N, it's just me, just JJ, you're safe here. You're safe." She ran her hand over your shoulder and arm. "I've got you, baby." 

JJ knew about Father Mark, and remembered when she saw how worried Emily was for you. You kept telling them what Will did wasn't as bad, but you didn't tell them that you felt like you were eleven again; scared, hurt, confused, angry. Emily was proud of how far you had come in almost two years, but she didn't know how far this might set you back. Honestly, it terrified her. 

You didn't sleep that night after it happened. You were running on coffee and anxiety. You lied to everyone and told them you'd slept fine, and no one was willing to argue with you. The next night, Emily told you she wanted to make sure you got to sleep all right. "I appreciate it, Ems, but I'm okay." There wasn't much you could manage to say on the subject. "Just go to sleep, angel,"

"I can't. Did you really get any sleep last night?"

"Yeah,"

"Yeah?"

"Mhm,"

"Baby, please. What can I do? Do you want me to hold you, or leave you alone, or what? I just care about you being okay, Y/N, my love, I'll do whatever you need." You sat up and scooted against the headboard, sitting on your pillow. She sat up next to you but didn't touch you in case you weren't okay with it. You pulled your knees to your chest and stared at the bed. "Honey..."

"Please." You hadn't an idea what you were asking for. "Emmy, don't go,"

"Never, baby, I'll never leave you,"

"I need you,"

"You've got me. Come here, love." You leaned into her. "Can I hold you, baby?" You nodded and cried into her, simply exhausted. Emily rubbed your back to help you through whatever you were feeling. Emily knew your moods well. When you first told her about your childhood, you'd barely been able to manage it. She treated you with kindness and gentleness and with the patience one only has for a child or someone they love dearly. Now, she had those same attributes, but now she knew exactly what had happened, and why it brought you to that scary place of being a kid in a monstrous, dark Catholic church filled with the author of sin. 

-

JJ continued to stay at your house, and you were afraid for her to go home. What if Will got out on bail? What if he tried to hurt JJ, or kidnap Henry? JJ knew this was possible, but it rattled around in your head day in and day out. 

She liked staying at your house better anyway. Henry seemed to like it, too.

You found the most solace, and best healing, around the two kids. Everything seemed like it was crumbling apart, but Henry, and especially Maia, were two wonderful, innocent children who you loved and couldn't imagine life without. You were glad to be there to see them grow. And Henry loved babying Maia, and she loved playing with him.