always been mine - emily prentiss x reader

chapter fifty-two // maia's first christmas

this is fluffy and then REAL DARK but the divide is pretty clear i think so don't be too worried.

-

Maia's motor skills were not yet developed enough to open gifts, so you, Emily, and Spencer took turns putting your hands on hers and helping. She loved to clap, and her baby smile made your hearts melt.

"Yay! Maia!" you cooed. She laughed and crawled over to Spencer, who held out his hands to pick her up. You were all sitting on the floor, and you felt Emily's hand just under the back of your neck. "Oh, you wanna see Papa? Yeah?" Spencer laughed as you encouraged her.

"You wanna sit with Daddy? Yeah?"

Maia liked holding your index fingers so you could help her walk, and she indicated that she wanted to do it by trying to stand, which she could not do on her own yet. This time, Spencer was closest, so he got on his knees and helped your daughter up. She gripped his fingers and took bumbling steps along with him. He helped her over to Emily, and everyone's smiles were bright enough to challenge the sun as Maia fell into your wife's lap.

"Oh, Mama's so proud, lovey! Good job!" Maia giggled endlessly in Emily's lap. She tickled Maia, making your daughter's laughs louder as Emily made silly noises. "It's Christmas! Oh, you don't know what Christmas is 'cause you're just a little baby, yeah, but it's Christmas! Merry Christmas, my sweet little girl!"

It was enough to make a grown man cry. And a grown man did cry.

You put a tentative comforting hand on Spencer, growing more comfortable when you saw Spencer accept it. He touched your hand and smiled. "Spence? You okay?" Emily asked, the smile slowly fading.

"Yeah, ahem, I really love seeing you with her. I'm glad you guys...I'm glad you guys are letting me be...be her dad," he said. You and Emily smiled, and Emily went back to being silly with Maia. You watched and put your head on Spencer's shoulder. "Plus, I like family Christmas." You smiled. He rested his head on yours.

"Oh, Y/N, I think someone wants to sit with you!" exclaimed Emily. She stood and walked Maia clumsily to you. "You wanna go see Mommy? Yeah?" Your baby fell into your lap and clapped and laughed.

Hotch called you in the middle of the day, wishing you a merry Christmas. "How's my favorite goddaughter doing on her first Christmas?" You could hear his smile. You turned and saw Spencer coming out of the nursery. Emily was asleep on the couch after a tiring morning.

"Napping. She really seemed to love your gift, Hotch, thank you. You didn't have to get her anything,"

"Of course I did. She's my goddaughter, it's nothing, Y/L/N. We got one from our baby shower for Jack way back in the day—"

"Hotch, your son is not that old that you can say 'way back in the day',"

"I know," he laughed, "but you'll be surprised. We got one from Jack's baby shower and he absolutely loved it. For years," he added.

"She was really into the lights. And god, that kid loves buttons," you laughed. Hotch chuckled.

"I bet she does. Well, Jack and I say 'merry Christmas' to all three of you,"

"Merry Christmas, Aunt Y/N!" you heard Jack shout from afar. You laughed.

"Merry Christmas, Jack! Alright, Hotch, take care, I'll see you Monday,"

"See you Monday, Y/N."

-

"God, I'm so glad she mostly sleeps through the night now," Emily sighed, coming into your bedroom after putting Maia down for the night.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I wasn't as helpful as I should've been back then, it's not that I didn't want—"

"Honey." Emily put her hand on your arm. She felt the faint scars from when Adam Stonebrook hurt you so long ago. "You were depressed. You did everything just right. Don't beat yourself up, honey." You gave her a tiny little smile and she kissed the tip of your nose. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart. I love you more than anything. Except Maia because I love you equally." You laughed. "And give me a kiss." It was like she was reciting a list. You kissed her. "And let's go to bed, baby."

You both let out sighs as you snuggled into her embrace. "My perfect wife in my arms on Christmas, our little tiny daughter asleep in the other room. Can't get much better than this."

"Emmy, why are you so cold?" you mumbled, tossing and turning beside her. When you opened your eyes, she was paler than you'd seen her, even in the dead of winter. Dead. Dead of winter. "Emmy..." you grumbled. Her arms were tight around you and you became uneasy. "Emily, can you let go, baby? Just give me a second." No release. "Emily, I'm serious,"

"Please, don't leave," you heard someone's voice say. It wasn't Emily. It was a man. You would know that voice anywhere.

"Oh, fuck off," you said to the disembodied voice.

"You can't get rid of me. When is she being baptized, Y/N? God is very disappointed in you." You thrash about, Emily's arms not letting go. No, in fact, her arms tighten around you. From the neck down, you're paralyzed.

"Are you saving me?" you say aloud. Not to the voice, but to Emily. She squeezes you. "Emily, you're...you're hurting me..."

Someone screams. It's Emily. You can't pinpoint where it's coming from, it's inside your head. The shriek continues and the voice's volume rises.

"Who do you think you are?" he laughs. "She's using you. I used to use you. It was more obvious then, but now...Y/N," he singsonged. "You're being used again,"

"When is little Maia being baptized? Maia Diana...what a perfect name for a daughter of yours. Not a daughter of God, of course not, she's the daughter of a sinner and her sin, but it's a pretty name."

"What the fuck are you even talking about? The fuck does that even mean?"

"Tsk tsk, Y/N. God is so very disappointed in you. Satan has sent your 'perfect little Emily Prentiss' to test you. It's been more than twenty years, child," he snarled. 

The word 'child' was hurled at you like an insult. You were hit by the flashbang memories of your adolescence. The pale woman squeezed the air out of your lungs.

"What have you done to change yourself? What have you done to repent? I did what I could for you, Y/N, but you...you're a case I couldn't change. How pitiful. And that wife of yours...what a bitch! She doesn't love you, can't you see that? How blind are you?"

"Emily loves me," you spit, no breath left in you. Her arms loosen and you take a heaving inhale before they tighten yet again and she starts to shake you. "Doesn't she love me? Emily, please..." The shaking gets more and more violent until everything turns to black.

"Y/N! Baby, wake up, it's okay." You gasp and rise to hold Emily as tight as the pale woman had held you. "Hey, hey, you're okay. You're okay, angel, you're okay."