always been mine - emily prentiss x reader

chapter thirty-eight // reconciliation

She was still sleeping when you got back, the note undisturbed. You kissed her forehead and sat back with her. You took the note and folded it up, putting it in your pocket. It was just before dawn when Emily woke up.

"Morning," she said sleepily. You softened your look at her.

"Morning, love. How'd you sleep?"

"Fine." You could see she was bracing for you to be upset again.

"Em, honey, I'm sorry I got so upset." She shook her head slightly.

"You have every right to be,"

"No, but I shouldn't be so upset with you." She pursed her lips.

"Did you sleep?" she asked. You nodded. "Good. D'you go home?"

"Yeah. Left you a note," you chuckled, "but I guess you never woke up to read it." You pulled it out of your pocket and she reached out her hand.

"'Went home to sleep. Be back later. Love you angel. Y/N.'" She smiled. "I love you, too. How'd you sleep?"

"Fine. JJ sent Spencer to make sure I was okay," you laughed.

"That was good of them." She looked down at her feet, then back at you. "I'm really glad you're here with me, love,"

"So am I. I'm sorry for getting so upset, angel. You don't deserve that." Your fingers brushed her hair out of her face and a tiny smile appeared on her face. "Do you want to talk now? We don't have to if you're not ready,"

"Are you?" You sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, I think so. You?" She nodded in reply. "Em, why didn't you tell me any of this? About Doyle, about what you did with JTF?"

"I was trying to protect you, love, I didn't want anyone to go after you,"

"But we're in this together, Ems. I'm your wife. Do you...do you trust me?"

"Baby, of course I trust you. I trust you with my life. Who I don't trust is the people I've put away. I can't let them hurt you,"

"You didn't say anything to me before you left." She looked down and fiddled with her wedding ring. "You didn't even say goodbye,"

"I couldn't." Her voice shook. 

"What?"

"I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to believe that...it might have been the last time I saw you,"

"Emily..." She bit her lip.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N...I'm so sorry..." You hold her right hand in your hands, squeezing it to let her know you're there for her. "And don't just say 'it's okay', because it's not okay, I shouldn't hurt you like this. I've been so awful to you, I deserve anything you want to do to me."

Her guilt was exhausting for both of you. "Stop doing that,"

"Doing what?"

"Telling me to hurt you back." She furrowed her brow and looked at you with her blank, tear-stained eyes. "Why would I do something to you? For revenge, Emily? I don't want revenge, I don't wanna 'do anything' to you. You don't deserve it, and I don't want to do it. I want you back, and I want you to be honest with me." Your voice started to break as you felt Emily squeeze your hand back. "It's not okay, that much you're right about. But I want us to be okay. We're married, Emily, we're partners. I love you. Please." You took one hand, the other still holding hers, and dried your tears on the sleeve of the Yale hoodie.

"I love you, Y/N. Is there any way you can forgive me?" You let out a cross between a sob, a sigh, and a laugh.

"I already have." She smiled. "It's gonna take time. Before we're normal again. But the way I felt looking at you, when I came back this morning..." Through your tears, a crumpled copy of a smile could be seen. "Relief. Love." Another laugh-sob-sigh escaped. "Not— I wasn't pissed off at you anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm still really upset, but..."

"But you weren't hotheaded,"

"Yeah," you laughed. "It's good to see your smile, sweet girl." You kissed her forehead again.

"I love you, Y/N,"

"I love you, too."

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very short chapter, so sorry, i just didn't want to try to fit anything else in here :) love you babes