The Perfect Design

Letters

-Russell

January 23rd, 2015

I had been calling Leah trying to get in touch her, trying to apologize for my actions but I was not making any progress. Her phone was going straight to voicemail. I showed up to the hospital to do my normal visitation and at the conclusion of my tour, I discreetly walked by her office. The door was closed and the lights were shut off.  It was unlike Leah to not be at work. We haven't spoken in a while so it is possible she may have taken some days off. I can imagine she needs the rest. My last effort would be stopping by her home.

I pulled up to her town home and hopped out of my Range Rover to enter her home with the key she had given me. Both of us had keys to each other's homes. We were just that close. Some may think that I am invading her privacy, but this was my woman. I feel like I have every right to make sure she is ok by any means necessary.

"Leah? Baby, it's me Russell, are you here?" I shouted out only to hear myself and no response. I looked around to check my surroundings. Her house looked as clean and put together as I remembered. I missed coming here. Being in her presence and being in her comfortable home. Knowing that I shouldn't have, I made my way up her steps. I remember some things because Leah gave me a tour the first time I came here. But one place she never let me into was her bedroom. To her it was private, and sacred. She always told me once I slid that ring on her finger and jumped the broom; I could come in as much as I wanted to.

A part of me longed to enter that secret place and that's just what I did. I entered to immediately to be hit by Leah's scent. God, this woman really had me going. Her bed: neatly made with a journal lying on top of the plush comforter. I couldn't help but pry it open and try to get inside of Leah's mind.  I flipped past many pages with her feelings of being away from home, how she feels alone, and how she feels her relationships always result in a way she never intended. This was no surprise to me as Leah had revealed these details to me before. It was only when I came across the next letter that everything I thought I knew was challenged.

Where do I start? I try my best to live  a life free of drama but for some odd reason it follows me. I threw a wonderful party for the "love of my life" just to celebrate him and show him how much he is appreciated by everyone around him. The glory of that was short lived. This guy, Lamarcus has been following me around I swear. He shows up randomly at the grocery stores, on my Instagram. I don't know what to do anymore. I tell him time after time, that I am happily seeing someone. Happily? I don't even believe that anymore. Pictures of Marcus and I surfaced on some gossip site of when I met him at a bar. It was the day Russell and I were supposed to go out, but of course, something came up. I was dressed up and feeling great so I thought I'd visit a lounge and that's when I met Lamarcus. He then shows up randomly at other places. These pictures get released and Russ flips out on me, throwing me away so easily over something so minute I couldn't believe it. Granted, he had trust issues because he was hurt before but my heart longs to show him how much I love him and how different I am. This blonde haired woman is following me as well. She showed up at century link when I met Russ's family, she showed up in my neighborhood, and she showed up at my job saying Russell made a mistake by rejecting her and dating me. I think she is an obsessed groupie, but I will keep my eyes out for her and my doors locked. I feel confident that she is the one who sent those pics to the gossip site. She is the reason Russell and I are not together. If Russell wants time away from me, I can give him that. I'm so tired of being everyone's flunky that they feel they can discard at any moment. I feel like the "love of my life" discarded me. Well it's time to refresh myself. California, here I come!

I leaned back on Leah's bed just taking in everything I had read. How different would things be if I allowed Leah to explain all of this to me before making a decision out of anger?  I wondered about my baby's safety after reading about this lady possibly following her. Allison. What if Allison was the blonde haired lady behind this madness? I did reject her, so she could be taking that out on Leah. I just didn't have a good feeling about her popping up at the holiday party. "Sorry to put you through this Leah" I said placing my face in my hands, racking my fingers through my hair. So many thoughts filled my head; I just wanted to hold Leah.  It's obvious she is in California right now; I just wish I knew when she was returning. Her birthday was coming up soon on February 7th. I would love to just spoil her and treat her like the queen she is, that's if she wants anything to do with me.

I called Nurse Sanders to try and get answers from her as to when Leah would be returning but she didn't know. All she was able to tell me was she had gone there for inspiration, unsure of when she would return. As painful as it was, my only option was to wait until the next opportunity to speak with Leah. I had a bad feeling about Allison because I know she is up to something. When you become an athlete, females love to dig up the skeletons in your closet. The Super bowl was less than two weeks away and I needed to get my head in the game, hopefully Leah would come around after then so I can make all of this up to her.

 Will Leah hear Russell out when she returns? Comments and votes?