The Perfect Design

If I Had My Way

-Russell-

Feeling Leah's hands on my body; against my own convictions, I couldn't help but to imagine what it would be like to be with her in that moment. It's like something took over me when I grabbed her waist and crashed my lips onto hers. I scooped her 5'5, curve-ridden body up in one movement. I think I lost it when her legs wrapped around my waist. Right then and there, if Leah hadn't called my name, we would have gone all the way. Like Chrisette Michelle sings, if I had my way, and the circumstances were right, we would have made love.

"Russ, you know we can't..." Leah said barely audible through a moan. I snapped back into reality and a ton of emotions came rushing to me at once.  I let go of her legs which allowed her to move from the wall I had pinned her against.

"Leah...I'm sorry, I really didn't mean..." I could not really get my words to form perfect sentences. I knew Leah was a woman who wanted to save herself for marriage and I didn't want her to feel as though, at any moment, I'd be willing to take advantage of her and get her off of her path. I consider myself to be a Godly man myself and I also didn't want to play around with any more women, except my next and LAST wife. Leah was pacing back and forth, running her hands through her hair.

"Wow..." she said as if she was still on cloud 9. "I mean, I knew something like that was bound to happen. I'm not mad at you, Russ" she said, relieving me with those very words.

"The temptation is real" she said nervously laughing.

"Tell me about it." I said wiping some sweat off of my forehead. "I think it's time to be completely honest, Leah. For the past couple of months, I have really grown to care about you. I never have really had someone that paid such attention to me and my needs. I guess that's why I got a little excited back there" I said pointing at the massage bed. It's been a while since I had someone to make me feel that way, and even then they didn't make me feel the way Leah did. We had moved to sit on the couches she had in her basement.

"But I would really appreciate it if you allowed me to get to know you on a deeper level, only if you feel the same way."

"Russ, I would absolutely love that. It took you long enough to ask though." She said making me crack a smile. I seemed to be doing a lot more of that since meeting her.

"And about what happened...Can we just, push that to the back of our memories for now?" Leah asked with a worried look on her face.

"Well, I'm not sure how long I will manage doing that but, yes." I admitted. For the next hour or so, Leah and I just talked and got to know each other better. She told me more about her childhood, her family and some of her dreams and goals. I told her about my dad, things I love and what I was looking forward to in the future.

"Well, I definitely know your Dad is looking down smiling because he's got a great son with an amazing heart" Leah said causing me to just look at her.

"You're Amazing" I told her. She looked away. I knew she was blushing. I grabbed her chin and turned her face back to me.

"Look at me." I said, her eyes connecting with mine. "I know people don't tell you that all the time, but you are great and I think what you're doing for the children at SCH is wonderful. You're beautiful, smart and charitable." I said to her. Tears rolled down her eyes.

"Russ, you don't know how that makes me feel. All these years I thought, maybe what I was doing was stupid. I lost family in the process of following my dreams and I have just felt so alone." I felt for Leah. I can't imagine what it would be like not having my immediate family on my side while I was living out my dream. I had to be the one that kept her motivated and told her how great she was.

She just hugged me tight, I kissed her on her for head, and she laid into my chest. After that massage, I felt like I could fall asleep at the drop of a dime and that's what we both did.