The Soldier and the Wolf

Chapter 20

March 2015

Bucky and I were walking down the stairway back to our rooms. As said the night before, Bucky and I got in some fighting on the roof just because it's been too long. Our fights usually ended in ties, but once in a while he would slam me down onto the cement and I would have to lie there a few seconds to recover. I was going a little slower on the staircase, and Bucky would look back at me once in a while.

"Are you sure your okay?" I nodded and gave a thumbs up followed by a sarcastic smile.

"Tis but a scratch." I painfully laughed, and when he looked back forward, I dropped my smile and winced at the soreness in my back.

"So, why am I going to your room? We usually just hand out in mine." I tried to think of an excuse quickly.

"Just because we haven't eaten a real meal in almost a year, and I thought that maybe I would cook something." I tried to make it sound believable. Please don't ask anymore questions. Please! I still waited for him to ask something, but I was relieved when he just mumbled "alright". Eventually we made it to our rooms.

"I'm just gonna go take a nice, hot shower. I think my lower back would really appreciate." Bucky nodded and opened up his door.

"I have to write a few things down...but uhh...I can't wait to eat some real
Food tonight. Those candy bars and chips aren't doing much justice for me anymore." We awkwardly stared at each other for a few seconds before breaking off into our own rooms.

"Great," I spoke to myself. "I should probably cook something then." But first I was gonna get in the shower. When we first got here, I tried to avoid using that shower as much as possible just because it looked like someone died in there, but after settling in, I was able to "fix" that bathroom just like I did with the rest of the room. I got in the shower and thought of things I could do for Bucky's birthday rather than just giving him a cake.

"Maybe I'll play some modern music. It'll be a modern birthday for him." I talked to myself because usually hearing myself say things out loud made it easier for me to determine if the ideas were actually stupid or not. "Yeah, yeah I think I'll do that. And for for food, maybe Spaghetti or something? Oh god that sounds too simple, but I'm no chef either." As I spoke, and idea suddenly came into my head.

"What if Bucky forgot it was his birthday." Then I calmed down when I realized that even if he forgot, he read that notebook almost every night so he couldn't possibly forget. However, that nice feeling was overtaken by a sense of panic. "Bucky never mentioned anything about it being his birthday today. What...what if he is purposely trying to avoid his birthday. What if something traumatic happened during his birthday or he just didn't have good memories of it and throwing him a birthday party would bring back all those terrible memories and he'll become a wreck and hate me." For the next few minutes, I stood in the shower debating if I should go on with this brilliant plan of mine. Multiple times, I went over the pros and cons of throwing him a mini birthday party. However, after changing my mind several times, I finally decided to carry on. It's fine if it all goes to shit. It's fine if he hates me for the rest of my life he I possibly bring up something that will kill him deep inside and possibly lead him to murdering me because I know deep inside that I was trying to do something nice. Right? Shit.

I was putting the candles on the cake when Bucky knocked on the apartment door. For the past hour I was prepping dinner, trying to make the box of pasta, a bag of cheese, and few seasonings I had into the fanciest meal I could think of. I ended up making some kind of Alfredo pasta. I quickly made some last arrangements of the candles before shoving it back into the freezer. I wiped my hands on my jeans and sped walked over to the front door. When I opened it, Bucky was leaning up against the railing of walkway, and he was staring at the ground. He glanced up at me and smiled. It was awkward for a few seconds, then I realized he was waiting for me to invite him in.