Night Changes

CHAPTER 10

"So..did your mood lighten up?"

Jasprit said as he dipped his spoon into his dessert and looked up at me. He was sitting across the table, looking good in his black hoodie and denims. Basically, I called him here at the café just to shift my mind from the events that occurred the last day. I hated being alone, and Ritz wasn't here in England so I called Jasprit because I recently realised he was a natural source of positivity, best to drive away all the shitty thoughts I had at the moment.

"Yeah..I'm feeling much better. Thanks, " I shot him a polite smile.

"Anytime. By the way, may I know what happened that turned you off?"

"Um..I just had a fight with someone."

"You are still fighting with Ritika?" He asked raising a suspicious eyebrow.

It took me a moment till I realised what he was talking about. Yes- I lied to him that day. Completely forgot that.

"Nope- we patched up. In fact, I would've met her if it was possible, but she's back there in India and that really wasn't helping my mood," I answered, dodging his question about the person I was having an argument with.

"I know the way best friends just uplift your mood. But when I have rough days, I call my mum who makes my day in no time. In fact, you should try calling your mom as well,"

I froze for a moment.

"I don't..have a mom. She's gone,"

My eyes moistened a bit but I blinked away my tears. I wonder how it feels. To call your mum and let her do the magic and heal you. I wonder.

"I'm sorry," he said with a genuine sadness on his face.

"It's fine. It's been a long time since I don't have parents,or anybody for that matter. I'm used to it now. Ritz is the only person I have in this world,"

A lie. No matter how many years pass, you never get used to such things.

"I'm sorry. Let's change the topic if it makes you unhappy,"

"No, it's okay. It's been a long time since I talked about it- I've been suppressing things inside since ages. Sometimes I wonder if I should just open up and let the emotions flow. I guess that's the only way to lighten your heart. But we lack good listeners nowadays, don't we?"
I sighed.

Suddenly he got lost into thoughts and just muttered something again.

While I was trying to figure out the meaning of his sudden change of expression, he snapped out of his thoughts and said,
"Let's go. Time to vent things out,"

And he almost dragged me out of the café.

Half an hour later, we were sitting on a bench at a park Jasprit brought me. I looked around- kids running and playing around. Couples on a romantic walk. Men and women killing time gossiping and walking around.

I broke the silence.

"Why did you bring me here, Mr. Jasprit Jasbir Singh Bumrah?"

"I hope you know I don't use my middle name," he rolled his eyes.

"But I like it. It's cool," I winked.

He narrowed his eyes. After a brief pause, he continued:

"You just said you wanted to open up, and I would love to listen. If you think you can share your sorrows with someone, I will be more than happy to help. Pour your heart out. I'm listening," he said with a polite smile.

I looked at him, amazed. I just said I wanted to talk and he volunteered to listen what I have to say. I felt a sense of admiration towards this helping nature of his.

I sighed and looked away. Should I tell him? I needed to muster courage. I hadn't talked about this since ages.

"So.." I began, "Firstly, I ain't Indian."

His jaw dropped.

"Not by birth, anyway. I was born in a small town in Bangladesh. I had a loving and a happy family- my parents and my only sister,"

I was starting to feel nervous.

"13 years ago, when I was at the age of 10, I was at school one fine day. My sister was sick and she stayed back home. I was continuing my usual classes when my teacher, horror filled in her eyes, broke the news to me. She took me home. Home. No. It wasn't a home anymore. It was just ash. So was my family,"

A tear escaped my eyes as he silently nodded and put his hand on my shoulder.

"Apparently, the gas cylinder had burst. I couldn't believe my eyes. That morning I had everything but then, by noon, I was an orphan. Alone, helpless. That's when one of my aunts adopted me,"

"She lived in India and brought me here with her. I was devastated. I couldn't believe the way my life turned. I was diagnosed with PTSD. Those nightmares, those visions-"

I cried heavily. I had goosebumps all over me and I was shaking. Just then, Jasprit pulled me into a tight hug and I kept sobbing like a baby in his arms.

"I so miss them, Jasprit. I feel so lonely.  I act tough but I ain't strong at all. I just want them to come back..I still have dreadful dreams about that day, the way I screamed for help, the way the flames devoured all of my family, and the lovely place I called home,"

Jasprit comforted me as he gently stroked my hair.

We sat in that posture for God knows how long. Suddenly, I pulled away, embarrassed.

We sat in a comforting silence for sometime.

"I will forever be indebted to my aunt. She really took care of me like her own daughter and whatever I am today, all credit goes to her. She sacrificed her career, her happiness, everything- literally everything just so that she could raise me properly. I always used to ask her when I grew up- 'why did you do that? Why leave everything you love for the sake of someone who isn't even your own daughter?' She always replied,'Because only a life lived for others is the real life,'"

"That's so wholesome. She's an amazing lady. Where is she now? Do you meet her often?"
I sighed as a drop of tear escaped my eyes.

"She's is no more, too. Almost an year ago. Stage three Leukemia. You see Jasprit, this one person that loved me and raised me- she's gone. Just like others. Why. Why is God so unjust? Why does He have to take away all the people I love?"
He sighed and looked away.

"My mother always used to say, "Just when you'll think everything is finally falling back to place and you can live peacefully now, that's when the tables turn. You can't expect things to go on with the same course all your life. And the fact that sometimes all you need is one nightfall to change your life makes it worth living,"- there is so much of truth in what she said, you know? My life keeps changing, and all I can do is try to move on,"

Jasprit gave a light squeeze to my shoulder.

"You're brave, Alayna. You faced all this in your life and still you're going on. I'm sure your parents and aunt are so proud of you,"

After a long pause, I gathered myself and spoke:
"Thank you so much, Jasprit. This was much needed. I feel lighter now,"

He handed me a handkerchief and shot me a smile.

"Everything will be fine. Don't worry, "
I gave him a half hearted smile and nodded.

We all have truths that haunt us for the rest of our lives. Now should we burden our hearts with the weight of these, or should we open up and lighten our souls?

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