Night Changes

CHAPTER 36

  You know sometimes you have to check your own pulse to make sure you're alive?

Sometimes there are happy moments in your life and you really want time to freeze.

  But again, sometimes you don't want time to freeze but it does, anyway. You feel you're out of breath, and there is this numbness. You don't know what awaits, and you just sit there, holding your breathe.

  My eyes remained fixated on the red bulb that was glowing brightly over the signboard that said: OPERATION THEATRE.

  Ro was surviving with life support in the ICU, just two cabins away from a struggling Ritz on the operation table.

  The first moment those words had penetrated my ear drum, I felt my world go upside down. I wanted to scream to whoever that girl was: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN? IS THIS SOME KIND OF PRACTICAL JOKE?

But I didn't. Because deep down, I knew this wasn't some sort of sick prank.

I was the last dialled on Ritz's phone. That's how they got me. And by them I mean, the receptionist.

  Ro and Ritz were returning from somewhere, probably after a long drive, and a truck coming from the other end, at full speed, hit their car. The driver was probably drunk, and driving above the speed limits.

  I didn't even know if they caught the driver. That was the least of my concern at the moment.

  And then comes the question I asked the first moment I entered the hospital premises: Where is Samaira?

  Samaira was alive. And fine. Reason? Ritz saved her. Ritz pushed her on the footpath when she saw the truck approaching and she knew it was going to hit.

  Samaira slept peacefully on my lap and I rested my head on Jassi's shoulders. I knew something bad was about to happen. There you go. It just did.

  I wanted to cry. So bad. But I guess this was now my bad habit to hold back tears when I was the most vulnerable.

  The red light went off.

  The doctor rushed outside.

   What do you usually do in this situation?

  You rush towards the doctor, ask him if your loved one is fine. Beg him to save his life.

  But I didn't. I just kept my gaze fixed on him, unable to move any muscle. Because I knew if I went any close, he will bear the worst news I dread to hear.

  But who has ever been able to avoid the truth? It always comes. No matter how hard you run away.

  The doctor came. And the doctor talked to Jassi. He said those words.

   "I'm sorry. We couldn't save Ritika. There was a lot of bleeding, and before there could be blood transfusion, she gave up her life. We're really sorry, we tried our best."

   What do you do in this situation?

  You cry. You scream at the top of your lungs. You regret at how you could do things differently.

  I didn't do any of these either. I just sat there. Motionless. I slowly shifted my gaze over to Samaira.

  Sure, she was sleeping as peacefully as one could when her mother just lost her life a room later. Poor child. Little did she know her world had just crumbled down. Little did she know she just received a wound that will make her life scarred forever.

   I met Ritz when I first joined Delhi Capitals. Ro was our captain, and he had invited all of us for a meal at his home.

  They were a newly married couple, and I loved the way the lady smiled and enjoyed. But that day, when we were having lunch, Ro turned on the news channel and the TV screen flashed the death of a dozen people in a fire that broke out in Shastrinagar. I saw the ashes and flames, and the heavy cries of their loved ones. I was just recovering from my PTSD at that time and that scene wasn't helping. I rose from my seat and broke into heavy sobs in a corner. Everything around me started spinning, I felt nauseous and tired. I didn't notice Ritz presence, neither did I saw her sit next to me. She comforted me and not once did she ask me what happened, that girl knew well when you're not supposed to prode. And when I apologised about my panic attack, all she said was, "Mental health is nothing to apologize about, it's something to work on. I won't pressurize you if you don't want to tell me, because I am no psychiatrist. But do tell me if you are seeing a real psychiatrist? And if it helps, tell me about it. I'm dying to listen," and she gave me an award winning smile.

The way she said "Mental Health" without making it sound like an F-word was when she won to me as a human being.

  I knew she was someone I could trust, and I told her all. She said she could relate because she struggle in her life as well and she had a backstory as well.

  You know what I loved the best about Ritz? She was always this optimistic and bubbly person, and so kind, so supportive, one will only believe when one sees her.

  But that's not possible. Now that she's gone. And never coming back.

  Now we'll only have her memories. Like that watch she gave me as a goodbye gift? Or the picture of us on our first shopping hangout? Her lovely smile? Or Her non-stop talks? And the product of her love- Samaira.

  Jassi hugged me and cried hard. But I couldn't even lift my arms to hold him. I felt so weak. So alone. Ritz had gone and is never going to come back.

  This felt unreal. And hard to believe. I could muster no other reaction than to keep sitting there, hard as a rock.

  The other doctor came out. This time, it was Jassi's turn to freeze. But, he wasn't near as weak as me. He mustered enough courage to walk to the doctor and hear those words from him again.

  How? How could Jassi be so strong as to have the strength to hear those terrible words again?

  Those: "We're really sorry Mr. Bumrah. We couldn't save Mr. Sharma. The heart has been badly damaged. We're really sorry. We tried our best."

  The heart had been badly damaged. That big big big heart of his? Ro, aka the Santa Claus. The helpful captain on the field, the loving husband and the coolest  father. The same guy who came running to me when he was afraid he is going to lose his wife. And the same guy who yelled at me for hurting his friend. He was this caring personality one could rarely see. A big softie he was.

  Was. That's all they are now. Just lifeless bodies. And a bunch of memories.

  I saw Jassi slowly crash on the floor and hang his head low.

  We both lost our best friends. We both had the same reactions. We both sat motionless. We both didn't know what to say or do. We both couldn't comfort each other because we were just two broken people.

  I looked over to Samaira, who shifted her position to be more comfortable in her deep sleep.

   This is it guys. The last chapter of this book. Read the epilogue to find out what happens next in their lives.

   I felt a pang in my chest writing this chapter. Death is so real, an inevitable ending. But still we can never get accustomed to it. The thought of losing our loved ones never ceases to send shivers down our spines.

   Please vote, comment and support♡♡