Night Changes

CHAPTER 32

  "Are you sure?"

I looked into Ritz eyes filled with concern. I sighed.

"Positive," I smiled at her reassuringly.

"It's your life, Aly. You can do whatever you want, but just know that I'll always be there for you,"

"Thanks, Ritz. And..I'll miss you so bad," I gave a tight hug, squeezing my eyes shut.

I was going away for some time. Well, for a long time.

The.. incident with Jasprit happened a couple of days ago. I had decided not to cry over it. I could feel my insides blast out of suppression, all I wanted was to sit and sob. But that was pathetic. Jassi told me what he wanted, and I knew we were done for good.

What a shot span of time we had, I laughed to myself, hysterically.

Yes, so. This was it. I couldn't sit back and sob for a lost cause. I had to give myself some space to breathe. I had to mend my career that I had almost forgotten about. My love life's messed, I have accepted it. And that being decided, I have decided to go away for some time. Well, who am I kidding? I'll be gone for an year almost.

I had decided to take shitty Simon's offer. I was going away for an year or so, away from this town, away from the memories, away from the pain I received in these six months, and all the happiness I got in this span. I'm gonna do what I love. Play cricket.

There was nothing better for me to do. I was already caught red handed by Ritz when my fingers hovered over Jassi's contact in my phone. This place contained too much emotions, if I stayed, I could never stop myself from contacting Jassi, pleading him to take me back in his life. If I stayed, I could never concentrate on my cricket career. I gotta go.

I didn't hear from Jassi all these days. Of course Ro knew what's up with him, but refused to let me get a hint. Apparently, he's still mad at me- but he did inform me that Jassi's mum was getting better, and would be discharged within two weeks, hopefully.

But I won't be there to see it. I'll be in Yorkshire then.

Tomorrow's my flight to England. And then, I'll return after an year, with new vigour and energy. Hopefully. It has to be a fresh start.

I sighed heavily. I went to my room to pack. I didn't have much time, the flight was early next morning.

The pang in my chest didn't stop hurting me for once. I silently stood before the mirror, looking at the lost girl before me. I looked fucked up, tired. The bags under my eyes were heavy, black circles around my eyes. Of course I couldn't sleep, thinking how things could have been better, how we would've been happy and together, analysing where I went wrong. The nights haunted me, when I was barely able to close my eyelids, my head on the edge of blasting from my thoughts. This didn't happened at daytime. Ritz and Sam kept me entertained all day and all night, making sure I don't drown in my sea of thoughts. Still, I zoned out every now and then, and that constant feeling of a heavy rock on my chest was omnipresent.

I dragged myself to the open suitcase and started shoving my clothes and essentials. Ritz had proposed to go shopping earlier today, and I quietly obeyed, though not in the mood for shopping but hey, I wasn't in the mood for arguing with Ritz and hear her 20 page report on overcoming breakups.

I took the ring and the letter Jassi gave me, plus that empty and washed box of ice cream. I'll move on, but I refuse to let go of my beautiful memories.

I sighed again.

My life was literally just a compilation of sighs at the moment, I sighed at the thought.

I checked my phone again, half expecting Jassi to text but, no.

Then a thought crossed my mind amd I opened the text option of my phone.

Hey.

I know you probably hate me, and yes, you should. You feel like I cheated on you, but that's partially true. It was downright stupid to do what I did, but that was purely unintentional, I swear. Now..I wanted to tell you that I'm going away. To Yorkshire, for a Cricket Campaign. I guess I'll stay for an year or so. Now since I'm starting my life afresh, I wanted to apologize to you. You are a great guy, and I hope you get someone who gives you the love that you deserve, which I could never give you.

I'm sorry for everything. I hope we can move on with our lives. Forgive me if you can.

And I typed the recipient: SHREYAS.

After all this shit, he deserves an apology, and we deserve a closure. That was my closure.

But to my dismay, the message wasn't delivered. Of course, what else was I expecting?  He blocked me. Duh.

I sighed and continued packing. I felt like typing a text to Jassi, but I resisted my urge to do that just on time. You promised, Aly.

I sighed and hit my head on the pillow. My life is going to start afresh tomorrow. I'll be leaving this place I've called home since 3 years, since my aunt died 3 years ago. And I was leaving it, leaving Ritz, Rohit, Samaira, Jassi and all my memories.

That's it. I couldn't hold back my years anymore.

I finally gave up after my 3 day struggle and started crying to my heart's content, my face hidden in the soft pillow.

I failed Jassi. I failed myself.

Things could've been so different. Jassi and I could've been together, laughing and loving every moment we spent together. We could've hit it off even better, now that he was a One Direction fan as well.

But no. Things didn't go that way. Our story ended before it could start. Now I was leaving, and we're done for. God, I missed him so much.

Perhaps we weren't destined to be together.

A new beginning...Thoughts?

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